I spoke too soon...

I believe I stated during my last post that I was enjoying the silence.
I also mentioned that Cole advised me that he needed to throw up.
I also mentioned that he barricaded himself in the bathroom and I was not able to get in.
I also mentioned that the noises coming from the bathroom did not leave me with a good feeling. I also mentioned that the aforementioned noises led me to believe that the toilet might not be catching all that it could...

Now - here is what was said after he exited the bathroom:

First thing he said was - I'm sorry.
Then he said "It's a mess in there"
I replied "Did you get it all over the toilet?"
He said "I was sitting on it."
A feeling of horror swept through me.
I looked.
I gagged.
I dry heaved.
I looked again (maybe it wasn't as bad as I remembered it - even if only 2 seconds had elapsed)
I gagged again.
I dry heaved a few more times.
I decided I'd take a picture so my stalker wouldn't think I was exaggerating when I said there was puke EVERYWHERE!

Here's what I encountered:


Things to note:
There is a towel on the floor that somehow only caught a little of what he was aiming at it.
The shower door is covered in vomit.
It would seem that our floor is not level as the vomit ran all the way to the door to the hallway.
The wall is covered in it.
The side of the tub is covered in it.
The toilet paper is covered in it.
What you can't see is that the cupboard doors are covered in it.
The whole OUTSIDE of the toilet is covered in it (not a single drop made it inside it).
Behind the toilet is a pool of vomit.
UGH.

So I start the clean up. I clean with paper towels and plastic bags. (Should that go in the green bin???) GAG!!
I mop with hot water.
I mop with bleach.
I scrub with Vim, a rag and a toothbrush.
I escape the toxic fumes and head outside and inhale other toxic fumes (aka a cigarette)
I head back into the chamber of stink and do a fourth and final scouring.
The baseboards now have to be replaced
The shower doors have to come off so they (and the track) can be scrubbed
(not a job for this time of the morning - actually, is any of this?)
I am down a roll of paper towels
I am down a roll of toilet paper
I am down a bottle of vim
I am down a bottle of bleach.
I am down a rag.
Cole is down a toothbrush.
(a cheesy one from the dental screening at school the other day - not the $9 one I bought him)
He has had a hot bath and is now laying on the couch in the basement watching The Last Samurai while hugging a bucket as per my request.

Guess that's one way to get the bathroom cleaned... too bad it happened at this unGodly hour.

How did this nice quiet night go so wrong? I think it was the chicken wings he ate for dinner.
All bad I tell you... all bad.

It seems that when shower doors are installed 12 inches away from a toilet, if someone sitting on the toilet vomits with enough force, it will allow the projected matter to ricochet and hit anything within a 4' radius. I question the idiots that did the renovations in this house prior to our purchasing it. It is definately NOT to code.

...When the sunroom was added to the back of the house, the genius "handyman" drywalled over the window which used to open to the back yard. What they neglected to do after covering up the window, was to install a vent. Not to code. I've seem Holmes on Holmes enough to know this. Do these people not watch television? BE PROUD OF ME DEAR STALKER... I could not air this room out while cleaning it and I managed to complete the task without hurling!

On that note, I am going outside for another smoke. Oh the excitement!

Go ahead, look at the pic again during my absence - click on it so you can appreciate Cole's handy work close up - this time look without laughing!

OMG - the poor kid. He was crying, and was so upset that he made this huge mess. He said "I'm sorry" twelve times and even offered to help me clean it. After I cleaned it all up (without his help), I ran a bath for him. He must have said "Thanks Mom, I'm sorry" another ten times.

All is well now. Just hope he hits the bucket should the need arise. UGH!

Going for a smoke - might not be at work tomorrow, we'll have to play it by ear. So, if you don't hear from me by 9:45, you can safely assume that I am at home with an ill child.

NIGHT!