Yep. 16 years ago, Deb did just that. Lucky for her, I was there to console her. Unfortunately for her, I am emotionally dull - or - "socially awkward" as she likes to put it. Yep, my wise and thoughtful words saved a marriage that day!
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Happy Anniversary!
Yep. 16 years ago, Deb did just that. Lucky for her, I was there to console her. Unfortunately for her, I am emotionally dull - or - "socially awkward" as she likes to put it. Yep, my wise and thoughtful words saved a marriage that day!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
My drawing for the day
The devil finds work for idle hands...
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Life on Earth
Monday, September 19, 2011
My Dad
My Dad has been very sick. At this point in time, there's still not a positive diagnosis. The doctors are leaning towards something called temporal arteritis. Anyway, it got so bad that my Mom took him to the hospital, where he was kept for a few days so they could do some testing. He was also given morphine and sleeping pills. At some ungodly hour on a Monday morning, my Mom got a call from the police saying they picked up my Dad near Kerr St. (a long walk from the hospital for an old man). She had to drive out to Oakville to pick him up and bring him back to the hospital. He explained that his buddy, Brian Franks, had died and that my Dad snuck out of the hospital to attend his memorial. He described the people that were there, and also stated that a hot dog stand was named in his honour. (Brian Franks is alive and well - all the people that were at the memorial were doctors and nurses that had been tending to him over the past two days). He was wearing his street clothes over his hospital gown. The fine nurses at OTMH didn't notice him slip out.
So now he's back at home. My Mom woke up in the middle of the night to my Dad fumbling around in the dark. When she asked what he was doing, he said "I think I'm stuck in a corner." She turned the light on and there he was, standing in the corner of the room - unsure of what he had to do to get to the door (that was RIGHT beside him).
And there you have it. Just a little glimpse into the inner workings of my Dad's mind. Quite funny, until I realize that I'm not that far from doing the same things. I drew some more bad pictures. Figure if I keep doing them, I am bound to get better at it. Besides, I like the pictures. They make this horrid blog a little more interesting. Still grammatically incorrect, but more entertaining (I think). Enough for now. 1½ hours until Hells Kitchen, 2½ hours until the 2½ men premier with Ashton Kutcher. Do you think it's pathetic that these shows will be the highlight of my day? I do. Later gator.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Something special - just for you. Because I am bored.
Did you notice I was gone? I decided to draw you a picture. Wasn't that nice of me? I'm like that. Sometimes. I have to admit, it was quite difficult. I hope you appreciate the time and effort it took me to do this. I did it just for you. It is a lovely picture, don't you think? I drew it using MS Paint. I cannot stress enough, the trouble I went through to draw this monkey. So now I can start my story. It is going to be a story about Minkeroni the Monkey (as shown above).
Once upon a time, in a land not so far from here, actually, it's so close to here, I'll just say it was here. So scratch that first line. I'll start over.
Once upon a time, here, there was a creature called Minkeroni. He was a he, and he was a monkey. (I didn't promise you a good story did I?)
Minkeroni twisted his ankle and hobbled to the middle of the sidewalk. (hmm, it's not the person drawing the pictures - he's just a stupid monkey). He couldn't believe his luck when he came upon a TELEPHONE BOOTH! "Thank Freaking Goodness" he thought to himself. His ankle was terribly sore, and swollen thanks to some old people that have far too much time on their hands. He couldn't decide if he should call an ambulance or a taxi. Unfortunately, he didn't know the phone number for either. So he looked in the phone book stored below the phone on a shelf. (don't' bother looking at the picture above, the book's not visible from that angle).
He opened the book. The text was soooo tiny that he couldn't read it. I know exactly how he felt. I once ordered a pizza for pick up (because I'm too cheap to tip the drivers), and sent Tom to go get it when the "ready by" time was approaching. He was gone for what felt like FOREVER. He came home - without the pizza. He asked which location I ordered it from. I said I ordered it from the one I usually order from. He then told me they didn't have an order for us. So I opened the phone book back up to see just exactly where I ordered it (all the while, thinking they're going to owe us a free pizza for their error). I pointed to the line in the phone book. Tom double checked it... and then grumbled "where the &*%$# is Dominion Pizza?" (OOPS!)
I digress. The monkey - the phone book - tiny print. Got it. (eww - cat puking in the next room). I was gone again. Cleaned up cat puke, killed a spider, went outside, had a smoke, fed a few mosquitoes and played a game of rumikub on my itouch. Did you notice my absence? Didn't think so. Which goes to show you how much longer it takes me to write this, than it does for you to read this. Where was I? The monkey - the phone book - tiny print. Got it.
So what did Minkeroni do?
Please, read on....
Minkeroni went ape-shit on the phone, destroying it. The police arrived and took him to jail where he was put on suicide watch because his foot was causing him so much pain, that he said he wanted to die.
The End (thank goodness)! Remember - at no point in time did I say this was going to be a good story, an educational story, or an enjoyable read. If you read this story in its entirety, you have no one to blame but yourself. (...stupid)!