Where to start?
Monday - my day off today. I am at home by myself, bored to the core. I woke up to get the boys out the door, went back to sleep on the couch. Got up at 9:45 in time for the window guy who came over to quote (can you guess?) windows. He left, I talked to my boss on the phone, my stalker on the phone, my honey on the phone, my boss on the phone and half hour later, my boss again.
I waddled into the kitchen to prep the garlic chicken we're having for dinner. Part way into it, I realized that I don't have any garlic powder because about a month ago, I dumped all my spices into the bin seeing that I moved twice in the past six years - and they had made the moves with me. I'm sure they don't keep for six years. So I figured I'd wash the jars and refill them with fresh spices. Well, guess what I never got around to doing?
So, I head off to the store. I'm not sure why this tidbit of info has made it's way onto my blog. Nothing exciting happened... not like the time Deb and I were at Sobeys... I have to write this story down while I'm thinking of it.
We had gone to Sobeys (Deb HATES this store). One of the items on her list was chocolate milk powder. Somehow, she had passed it by a few aisles prior, but she refused to go back. She was frustrated because they stock their shelves weird. For instance: they keep the horseradish in a cooler with the eggs. Not sure how these two things are connected, but that's where you have to look to find it.
So anyway, we had separated and I met up with her at the end of an aisle and she was all excited because she had found some chocolate milk powder in a clearance cart (which she was still rummaging through). I took a closer look and noticed there was lettuce, tomatoes, fruit and all sorts of thing that would never be in a clearance cart. I pointed this out to her. She was going through someones cart while they were perusing the freezers. We start to laugh- all the while, trying to leave the area as quick as possible (as she stole the woman's chocolate milk powder!)
OK - back to what I was talking about which as I remember was nothing, so I'll just ramble on about the next random thought that pops into my head. Oh. I am making a lemon meringue pie for dessert. The garlic chicken used egg yolks, so I have all these egg whites to use somehow. So that's what's in the oven as I type away.
It's raining outside. The pool of blood that I left on "fall on your face Tuesday" has finally been washed away. I would have dragged the hose out, but the lines froze a couple years ago along that side of the house and it's not fixed yet so I couldn't.
Alright - I've been gone for quite a while now (bet you didn't even notice I was missing). Had to get the pie out of the oven, then decided I'd prep the baked potatoes, only to realize that I didn't have any. SO, I went back to the store, grabbed a coffee from Horton's, got home, washed the potatoes, threw them in the oven, set the table for dinner, loaded and ran the dishwasher, washed the dishes that don't belong in a dishwasher, talked to my Mom on the phone and now I'm back. (lucky you)
Went to Deb's yesterday - loaded the bikes in the truck so the kids could go to the Burlington dirt jumps. Poor Al. When we arrived, I asked him if he could look at Brett's bike because he said the chain kept falling off. So Al happily (or he puts on a really good show) took the bike and noted that it had no rear brakes as well. Who would have thought brakes would be required when jumping over hills? So, he fixed him all up and they went on their merry way.
Later in the afternoon we got a phone call from Deb's child #2 saying they were having a problem with a squirrel. It was a baby that wouldn't leave Cole alone. Kept following him So Deb told him to put it in the wooded area and leave it there. So that's what they did. Ten or fifteen minutes later he calls back saying that it came back and was crawling up Cole's leg. They asked if I could go over to see if I could make it stop. Deb said she'd send Al. (again, poor Al). So he hopped on his motorcycle to tend to the situation.
A short while after that, Dr Doolittle and a gaggle of kids were sitting on the front lawn with a baby squirrel. I took some pics on my phone, but can't download them, so when Deb downloads hers, I will add a pic. At the end of it all, their neighbor (a squirrel whisperer or something of the sort) took it in for the night to make sure it would be alright on its own. No update. Have no idea how it did overnight.
Well, the kids should be home from school soon, so I will end this here. No exciting plans for the week... work, work, bowling, work, work, drop kids off in Brantford and then it's the weekend. We've booked a hotel room at Niagara Falls - will pop over the border for a while, then back into Canada for the remainder of the day. Wonder how much the duty is on a case of beer? Tom really likes Rolling Rock, but you can't get it in Canada. That, and I'd like to go to a grocery store to pick up some of the other foods and snacks that you can't get here....
Man. What a boring post. Sorry. Will try to do better next time!
Phew! What a boring day.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
OMG Stalker. It seems we're not alone
... people have been talking (or replying if you want to get all technical)
Oh, and the things I have written. Doing a mental flashback... what have I said?
- I admitted to eating litter
- I have proved I'm insane on several occasions
- I wrote about "Popsicle sticks"
- Oh, and my "sex with Deb" post.
- putting condoms on my Dad
- oh, and there's so much more...
I suppose I shall get on with the rant that I had mentally prepared while making a dinner that I knew I was not going to be able to eat.
Let's start off from my last post from a week ago.
Wednesday. Picked up the Rendezvous from the garage. They did not do all the work I requested, so now I have to make another appointment and will lose the car - again. After bowling, I decided to wash the car at the coin op wash. Hose blew. I was SOAKED from head to toe. Finally made it home, frozen to the core. Took me all bloody night to warm up again. Silver lining in this situation? hmm. I guess it would be the clean car.
Thursday. Was advised that my work hours were being knocked back. We are now closed on Fridays and we all have to take a day off during the week (this way no one has to be laid off). Just temporary, so everything should be alright. Silver lining in this situation? I now have Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Mondays off until things pick up.
Friday. Good Friday. Tom went golfing. I spent the whole day baking a cake that was to be delivered on Saturday. First chocolate cake failed. No idea what happened. Went in the bin. Second chocolate cake was okay, but the crust was hard. Made two vanilla cakes - again, the crusts were hard. Because it was good Friday and there were no stores open, I had to go to the corner store to get eggs, butter and icing sugar. CHA CHING! Ended up using cake mixes (which does not support fondant as well as one made from scratch). Then I spent the whole night decorating it. The fondant bow was pink and white. My intentions were to "glue" it together with white chocolate. Not sure why, but it would not melt, so I had to use yellow candy melts. While doing this, the bag I was using exploded and I had a mess of hot yellow gunk to clean up. Was up until 5:30am. Silver lining in this situation? The cake is done. She was very happy with it - overpaid me to say "thanks!"
Saturday. Went to Brantford for a family get together. Met at Boston Pizza. I ordered a bowl of chili ($8.95). Was smaller than a large chili from Wendy's. Went back to Mike and Elaine's to play cards. Tom won one of the rounds. I didn't win any. Silver lining in this situation? I was playing with Tom's money.
Sunday. Easter. No kids. Woke up at 11:30 and did absolutely nothing (that I can remember). Picked the boys up in Brantford at the usual time. They reek of that stupid pool again. Then, as we're driving back to the creek, don't we pass the dick - headed in the same direction. Why in the Hell did he make us drive to Brantford if he was going past Hamilton? Idiot. Silver lining in this situation? I am not married to the freak anymore.
Monday. My "volunteered" day off work. I did laundry all day until everything was washed (even the bedsheets). Made a roast beef for dinner. It might have looked good in the package, but it was full of grissel (how do you spell that?) and fat. Not nice at all. Filled up on potatoes. Silver lining in this situation? I didn't have to go to work and I didn't have roast beef stuck in my teeth because I didn't eat it.
Tuesday. Fall on your face Tuesday. Bad all the way through. Heard that Evan is in critical condition. Heard that his brother wrote off their mother's Explorer. Fell on my face. Got stitches on my chin. Have to live off yogurt because it hurts to chew anything. Mom called to say Grandma is in hospital again and that if she does not improve by tomorrow, they will be keeping her there until she passes. Silver lining in this situation? Two less cars on the street? (oh, that was really bad). ok - silver lining? I've never had stitches outside childbirth so this was an experience I've never known.
Wednesday - well, it's the wee hours of the morning and I'm sitting in a chair so I'm not likely to faint... So far so good! I am going to go to bed before it all falls apart on me!
Hope your sleeping the sleep of the just. Talk to you on IM tomorrow! BTW - my chin is STILL bleeding (although not very badly anymore). Oh, and since this has turned into a giant whine fest, my teeth now hurt, and so do my ribs, my shoulders and my spine (on top of all the original aches and pains from this morning). I imagine I went down like the people in those old Nestea commercials... know the one's I'm talking about? Oh, and your husband is a dink. Pregnant. How could he call me and say such nasty things? I'd be needing a ride to the Skyway.
Going to bed. Well, I lie. I am going to surf while I finish my coffee. Then I'm going to bed. I am hungry so I doubt I'll sleep, but I've got to try if nothing else. Night Chick (oh, and to anyone else that might be reading this).
Oh, and the things I have written. Doing a mental flashback... what have I said?
- I admitted to eating litter
- I have proved I'm insane on several occasions
- I wrote about "Popsicle sticks"
- Oh, and my "sex with Deb" post.
- putting condoms on my Dad
- oh, and there's so much more...
I suppose I shall get on with the rant that I had mentally prepared while making a dinner that I knew I was not going to be able to eat.
Let's start off from my last post from a week ago.
Wednesday. Picked up the Rendezvous from the garage. They did not do all the work I requested, so now I have to make another appointment and will lose the car - again. After bowling, I decided to wash the car at the coin op wash. Hose blew. I was SOAKED from head to toe. Finally made it home, frozen to the core. Took me all bloody night to warm up again. Silver lining in this situation? hmm. I guess it would be the clean car.
Thursday. Was advised that my work hours were being knocked back. We are now closed on Fridays and we all have to take a day off during the week (this way no one has to be laid off). Just temporary, so everything should be alright. Silver lining in this situation? I now have Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Mondays off until things pick up.
Friday. Good Friday. Tom went golfing. I spent the whole day baking a cake that was to be delivered on Saturday. First chocolate cake failed. No idea what happened. Went in the bin. Second chocolate cake was okay, but the crust was hard. Made two vanilla cakes - again, the crusts were hard. Because it was good Friday and there were no stores open, I had to go to the corner store to get eggs, butter and icing sugar. CHA CHING! Ended up using cake mixes (which does not support fondant as well as one made from scratch). Then I spent the whole night decorating it. The fondant bow was pink and white. My intentions were to "glue" it together with white chocolate. Not sure why, but it would not melt, so I had to use yellow candy melts. While doing this, the bag I was using exploded and I had a mess of hot yellow gunk to clean up. Was up until 5:30am. Silver lining in this situation? The cake is done. She was very happy with it - overpaid me to say "thanks!"
Saturday. Went to Brantford for a family get together. Met at Boston Pizza. I ordered a bowl of chili ($8.95). Was smaller than a large chili from Wendy's. Went back to Mike and Elaine's to play cards. Tom won one of the rounds. I didn't win any. Silver lining in this situation? I was playing with Tom's money.
Sunday. Easter. No kids. Woke up at 11:30 and did absolutely nothing (that I can remember). Picked the boys up in Brantford at the usual time. They reek of that stupid pool again. Then, as we're driving back to the creek, don't we pass the dick - headed in the same direction. Why in the Hell did he make us drive to Brantford if he was going past Hamilton? Idiot. Silver lining in this situation? I am not married to the freak anymore.
Monday. My "volunteered" day off work. I did laundry all day until everything was washed (even the bedsheets). Made a roast beef for dinner. It might have looked good in the package, but it was full of grissel (how do you spell that?) and fat. Not nice at all. Filled up on potatoes. Silver lining in this situation? I didn't have to go to work and I didn't have roast beef stuck in my teeth because I didn't eat it.
Tuesday. Fall on your face Tuesday. Bad all the way through. Heard that Evan is in critical condition. Heard that his brother wrote off their mother's Explorer. Fell on my face. Got stitches on my chin. Have to live off yogurt because it hurts to chew anything. Mom called to say Grandma is in hospital again and that if she does not improve by tomorrow, they will be keeping her there until she passes. Silver lining in this situation? Two less cars on the street? (oh, that was really bad). ok - silver lining? I've never had stitches outside childbirth so this was an experience I've never known.
Wednesday - well, it's the wee hours of the morning and I'm sitting in a chair so I'm not likely to faint... So far so good! I am going to go to bed before it all falls apart on me!
Hope your sleeping the sleep of the just. Talk to you on IM tomorrow! BTW - my chin is STILL bleeding (although not very badly anymore). Oh, and since this has turned into a giant whine fest, my teeth now hurt, and so do my ribs, my shoulders and my spine (on top of all the original aches and pains from this morning). I imagine I went down like the people in those old Nestea commercials... know the one's I'm talking about? Oh, and your husband is a dink. Pregnant. How could he call me and say such nasty things? I'd be needing a ride to the Skyway.
Going to bed. Well, I lie. I am going to surf while I finish my coffee. Then I'm going to bed. I am hungry so I doubt I'll sleep, but I've got to try if nothing else. Night Chick (oh, and to anyone else that might be reading this).
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TUESDAY
"Fall on your face Tuesday" is not one of my favorite days of the year. I was outside talking with Mrs. Tennessean this morning and half way through the conversation I started to feel "woozy" (that's the technical term). I rudely started to walk away from her, knowing that I was about to drop to the ground. I was trying to make it to the porch so I could sit on the stairs. I woke up on the ground, covered in blood and mud. Needed stitches for crying out loud. I am sore and swollen. I scuffed my left knee so it matches my right shin from my night prowling last week. I've hurt my hand. I can't chew. Hurts to swallow. This blows. This whole week has been a nightmarish Hell. More later. Have to get everything squared away before I head home for the day. I'll see if I can't burn myself or perhaps stab myself while making dinner. Stupid Tuesday.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Midnight Ramblings
12:38am.
Just finished making the loops for the bow for the cake for the 25h Wedding anniversary for Bernice for her aunt and uncle's celebration for their (you guessed it) 25th wedding anniversary to be paid for by her cousin.
Did you follow that?
I was supposed to email a price but I don't have her email address on my hotmail account snf zim noy sy eotk. (oops... had to shift my left hand over one key to the left) I just gave you the key - now if you're really interested in what that says, I'm sure you'll be able to decode it. Mrs. Gipp (grade 9 typing) would be having a heart attack right now. But I know why this was possible... I still have no feeling in my left fingers (thanks to King Luminaire's KA44 Quad arms). Stupid things. Pinched a nerve in my neck while helping the guys in the shop wrap them in order to meet a deadline. Never fully recovered. So, anyway, because I have no feeling in my index finger, I can no longer feel the little ridge on the f key which is there to tell my nifty little brain that my fingers are on the proper keys. Mrs. Gipp (grade 9 typing) would be very pleased to know that I did indeed absorb something she taught me.
I was supposed to bake a cake and have the cake balls all mixed and molded, ready for decorating tomorrow night. Unfortunately, I decided the bow was a little more important. Hell, I could just as easily bring in a box of Timbits for the class and the kids would be happy. Tom is such a light sleeper - I can't turn the mixer on or he'll be up in a flash. DAGNABBIT!
I was supposed to print off some tags for the cake balls but have decided that I needn't bother until I at least bake a cake... however I was looking forward to using the "boner" that Deb gave me for my birthday. (laughing to myself now). Deb gave me a boner. Deb didn't want to ask the guy at Michael's if he knew where she could find a boner. OK. OK. Now we know it's actually called a bone FOLDER, but I will always remember my 38th birthday as the year that Debbie gave me a boner (and a gift card to boot)!
I have flax seeds stuck in my teeth. I guess I really didn't need to inform you of this, but there you go. I already typed it, so that little tidbit of information is going to stay. Nail biting, gripping, on the edge of your seat blog entry... wouldn't you say?
1:03am. I am going to sign out and go to bed. Morning comes sooner than it did last week. The fine city is doing road work and Centennial and King is closed until May sometime. Now everyone detours down Lake and it makes my morning life a living Hell. I sure hope these workers do a better job than the ones that did the work at Guelph Line and New. Did you hear what they did? They dug up in front of the bowling alley - fixed the pipes or whatever it was that they were doing, and then cemented and stamped a new sidewalk. One problem... they didn't hook the water back up first, so they had to dig it all up again, hook the water into the bowling alley, then do the concrete pouring again. They did the same thing on New street. Paved the new road BEFORE the work underground was complete so they had to dig it all up again. Morons. My conspiracy theory way of thinking makes me believe that they were ensuring job security. As long as there was still work to be done, they'd all have a job.
1:09. Seriously. I am signing off now. Hope you're snug as a bug in your warm cozy bed. Thanks again for offering me your husband's clothes... how weird would that sound to anyone that wasn't privy to our conversation earlier? No worries. No one else is reading this.
Buy some new socks - preferably ones without stripes or patterns.
Night.
Just finished making the loops for the bow for the cake for the 25h Wedding anniversary for Bernice for her aunt and uncle's celebration for their (you guessed it) 25th wedding anniversary to be paid for by her cousin.
Did you follow that?
I was supposed to email a price but I don't have her email address on my hotmail account snf zim noy sy eotk. (oops... had to shift my left hand over one key to the left) I just gave you the key - now if you're really interested in what that says, I'm sure you'll be able to decode it. Mrs. Gipp (grade 9 typing) would be having a heart attack right now. But I know why this was possible... I still have no feeling in my left fingers (thanks to King Luminaire's KA44 Quad arms). Stupid things. Pinched a nerve in my neck while helping the guys in the shop wrap them in order to meet a deadline. Never fully recovered. So, anyway, because I have no feeling in my index finger, I can no longer feel the little ridge on the f key which is there to tell my nifty little brain that my fingers are on the proper keys. Mrs. Gipp (grade 9 typing) would be very pleased to know that I did indeed absorb something she taught me.
I was supposed to bake a cake and have the cake balls all mixed and molded, ready for decorating tomorrow night. Unfortunately, I decided the bow was a little more important. Hell, I could just as easily bring in a box of Timbits for the class and the kids would be happy. Tom is such a light sleeper - I can't turn the mixer on or he'll be up in a flash. DAGNABBIT!
I was supposed to print off some tags for the cake balls but have decided that I needn't bother until I at least bake a cake... however I was looking forward to using the "boner" that Deb gave me for my birthday. (laughing to myself now). Deb gave me a boner. Deb didn't want to ask the guy at Michael's if he knew where she could find a boner. OK. OK. Now we know it's actually called a bone FOLDER, but I will always remember my 38th birthday as the year that Debbie gave me a boner (and a gift card to boot)!
I have flax seeds stuck in my teeth. I guess I really didn't need to inform you of this, but there you go. I already typed it, so that little tidbit of information is going to stay. Nail biting, gripping, on the edge of your seat blog entry... wouldn't you say?
1:03am. I am going to sign out and go to bed. Morning comes sooner than it did last week. The fine city is doing road work and Centennial and King is closed until May sometime. Now everyone detours down Lake and it makes my morning life a living Hell. I sure hope these workers do a better job than the ones that did the work at Guelph Line and New. Did you hear what they did? They dug up in front of the bowling alley - fixed the pipes or whatever it was that they were doing, and then cemented and stamped a new sidewalk. One problem... they didn't hook the water back up first, so they had to dig it all up again, hook the water into the bowling alley, then do the concrete pouring again. They did the same thing on New street. Paved the new road BEFORE the work underground was complete so they had to dig it all up again. Morons. My conspiracy theory way of thinking makes me believe that they were ensuring job security. As long as there was still work to be done, they'd all have a job.
1:09. Seriously. I am signing off now. Hope you're snug as a bug in your warm cozy bed. Thanks again for offering me your husband's clothes... how weird would that sound to anyone that wasn't privy to our conversation earlier? No worries. No one else is reading this.
Buy some new socks - preferably ones without stripes or patterns.
Night.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Mind reading
One day while talking about an episode of the Simpsons that involved mind reading, Bart, Homer and the Meow mix theme, I asked Tom if he could read my mind.
(yes, he has to endure this type of conversation with me all the time - he knows I'm insane so I don't have to try to hide it from him anymore).
He replied "yes I can." I said "okay, tell me what's running though my mind right now."
And this was his reply:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=547QfRJ-yVM&feature=PlayList&p=1D63441A95F0AC1E&index=7
(yes, he has to endure this type of conversation with me all the time - he knows I'm insane so I don't have to try to hide it from him anymore).
He replied "yes I can." I said "okay, tell me what's running though my mind right now."
And this was his reply:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=547QfRJ-yVM&feature=PlayList&p=1D63441A95F0AC1E&index=7
I'm sorry - I'd have simply posted the video here, but I'm too freaking lazy right now.
Exciting news... read while sitting!
Did you fall for it (↑)? Or are you on to me? Ah, who am I kidding... you know I often lie on my blog, if for no other reason than to make myself feel better. Denial. It's what keeps me going...
Last night I had lots to do.
1) I assured Bernice that I would work out the price for a cake she has requested. You would like her Deb - I'm pretty sure she is a nutty as we are, but she hides it so much better than we can.
2) I had to bake a cake to make cake balls (sounds kinda Dr. Seuss-ish doesn't it?) so I could have the class Easter crap ready for school on Thursday morning (I bowl Wednesday night so I need to get everything prepped so all that's left to do after bowling is the decorating part). As you can tell by the link, I will be using the CASE method again.
3) I had to do a mass printing of Easter tags to go along with the "Easter crap."
Shall I do a play-by-play? I know how much more fun it is to have to endure... ummm, I mean read the ramblings of a bored psychopath in point form. Ok - I won't recap what I've already done. I don't have the patience for that.
So here's how my exciting day has unfolded:
7:00 - fell asleep on the couch (note, this was at 7:00pm on Monday)
7:30 - woke up
7:32 - came to realize it was 7:30, but not Monday night. In fact, it was no longer Monday.
7:33 - kicked myself for not accomplishing any of the tasks I laid out for myself last night.
7:33 - dragged my ass off the couch
7:34 - went to wake up Cole (already awake, washed, dressed and fed)
7:34 - went to wake up Brett (not as eager to be vertical - took some nagging)
7:35 - got ready for work.
8:00 - answered the phone (it was Tom who was making sure I was up)
8:20 - we headed out the door into brisk cold air and onto a snow covered ground.
8:21 - Mumbled a "Thank you Tom" for listening when I had mentioned that the loaner car did NOT have a snow brush in it. (He had cleared it off for me before he headed off to work)
8:25 - went to Horton's
8:40 - was sitting in Tom's office
8:50 - went to Neath's Supply to pick up some steel-toed work boots for the swamp monkey.
9:00 - was sitting at my desk (working)
10:45 - the clock watching started.
Last night I had lots to do.
1) I assured Bernice that I would work out the price for a cake she has requested. You would like her Deb - I'm pretty sure she is a nutty as we are, but she hides it so much better than we can.
2) I had to bake a cake to make cake balls (sounds kinda Dr. Seuss-ish doesn't it?) so I could have the class Easter crap ready for school on Thursday morning (I bowl Wednesday night so I need to get everything prepped so all that's left to do after bowling is the decorating part). As you can tell by the link, I will be using the CASE method again.
3) I had to do a mass printing of Easter tags to go along with the "Easter crap."
Shall I do a play-by-play? I know how much more fun it is to have to endure... ummm, I mean read the ramblings of a bored psychopath in point form. Ok - I won't recap what I've already done. I don't have the patience for that.
So here's how my exciting day has unfolded:
7:00 - fell asleep on the couch (note, this was at 7:00pm on Monday)
7:30 - woke up
7:32 - came to realize it was 7:30, but not Monday night. In fact, it was no longer Monday.
7:33 - kicked myself for not accomplishing any of the tasks I laid out for myself last night.
7:33 - dragged my ass off the couch
7:34 - went to wake up Cole (already awake, washed, dressed and fed)
7:34 - went to wake up Brett (not as eager to be vertical - took some nagging)
7:35 - got ready for work.
8:00 - answered the phone (it was Tom who was making sure I was up)
8:20 - we headed out the door into brisk cold air and onto a snow covered ground.
8:21 - Mumbled a "Thank you Tom" for listening when I had mentioned that the loaner car did NOT have a snow brush in it. (He had cleared it off for me before he headed off to work)
8:25 - went to Horton's
8:40 - was sitting in Tom's office
8:50 - went to Neath's Supply to pick up some steel-toed work boots for the swamp monkey.
9:00 - was sitting at my desk (working)
10:45 - the clock watching started.
Blah blah blah. I can't be bothered to do the point form anymore. My thoughts are not organized, so I'll go back to my usual scattered rambling...
Tom was just here with a coffee for me. My office door was closed so he couldn't see what I was doing. He does not know about my blog yet. No one does. Just you Deb.
I just caught myself smiling because an image of your socks flashed through my head. What was my comment? ... nice socks you fucking leprechaun. Why can I not just look at your socks and think "socks?" The ones that stand out in my mind are your Pippi Longstocking socks, your witch socks and your leprechaun socks. I'm thankful that you can't find the zebra socks you've been searching for... alright - enough about your odd fetish.
I have to leave work early today as Cole has swim practice again today. I pulled the smelly bathing suit out of the washer and to ensure that the odor was gone, I rolled it up with two Bounce sheets in it. I don't think it will ever smell of anything but flowers ever again. I think it now smells worse than it ever did. Holy cow those new bounce sheets are heavily scented!
Am I boring you to death yet? Would you prefer I do another one of those "try to follow my train of thought" posts again? Think I will - starting .... NOW.
I enjoy going back to read what I've written in these entries. However I find it difficult to type things as fast as I think them. By the time I've typed it out, I have to skip a few thoughts to keep up. For example... damn, it's gone. I was just remembering that you have a hard time reading these because you are an old biddy who needs new glasses. You need spacing. You want paragraphs. Well tough titty woman. Buy some solid coloured socks! Pippi Longstocking reminds me of Wendy - from the Wendy's chain. Must be the red pigtails. But then, why don't I think of Anne of Green Gables? I guess I do, because I just did. Hmm. Something to ponder. Later. Right now I am trying to type things as they come to mind. If I spend too much time on red pigtails... well that would be far TOO boring. This is bad enough. It is 1:27 right now. I am not going to do the time stamp thing again, however I did find it kind of amusing to do. Deb is going to Florida in a couple months. Fuck, I hope she doesn't find her zebra socks while there. I know they'll be wandering off the Disney grounds because she mentioned the space shuttle launch and seeing the ocean. That means she will have the opportunity to go shopping. And those damned Americans are likely to have something as stupid as zebra socks. Why not just black, white, blue, brown or gray socks? Even red socks are a little too much for me. Do I have a problem? Am I a sock racist? Did I word that right? Looked wrong, but who really cares? There is no possible way that she's still reading this. I should quiz her to see if she really does read everything I've taken the time to type out. But then again, she can read my mind. Oh, that's funny... just thinking of the time Tom said he was reading my mind. I will have to add a link to show just how funny he is. Coffee truck. Did you notice my absence? A hunk of pizza and a diet coke. I hate pizza but I'm hungry. Tonight we're having ravioli and caesar salad for dinner. Then I have to do everything that was supposed to be done last night while I was sleeping. Cole's grad pictures are tomorrow. $25 sitting fee. Wonder how much they're going to gouge me for the actual pictures? Thank God he agreed to a haircut. Otherwise I could have just found a picture of cousin It online and photo-shopped a grad cap on him. That's funny. I should do that anyway, just for shits n giggles. What's even funnier (although it's kind of mean) is that I have taken to calling Brett Pugsly Addams since he got his hair cut. Who does that make me? Morticia? Nah, I'm nowhere near skinny enough. However I am very pale. This pizza is disgusting. Just tossed it. I could have pulled the cork board off the wall and eaten in. Probably tastes the same. I wonder if Deb is still reading this? I wonder if her head hurts yet? If it does hurt is it because (a) there is no spacing between each line (b) there are no paragraphs to be found since starting this method of writing (c) she can't keep up to my train of thought (d) I boring her to death. But for (d) to be true, that would mean that a symptom of being bored to death would be a headache. I am not sure if this is true. So maybe (d) should just be (d) she is bored of reading this jargon. I wonder how hard she'll find it to follow this. (assuming she's still reading). Because I have typed so many (d) references, I wonder if her eyes will be drawn to them. Then, because her eyes don't know which (d) to scan to, she will end up reading the same sentences over and over until she comes upon the (d) that she should be looking at. In summary, I think I might have typed to many (d) references. HA HA HA. That's actually quite funny. I should just put random (d)'s throughout my posts to make her eyes wander. I bet I COULD give her a headache if I really wanted to. Although that would require her undivided attention, and I honestly doubt that I have it. Why would anyone want to sit and read through this? Because it's me? Because I am such an interesting person. I think she knows me better than that by now. (d) I just decided to throw that in. Don't ask me why. Well, I'll tell you why. Because I'm mean and spiteful and I am really trying to see if I can give you a (d) headache. I think I shall end this here. I have to go pee. I am sure Deb likes it when I advise her when my bladder is full. Now that I think about it (d) I am pretty sure I have to pee whenever I'm talking on the phone with her. Or (d) it could be that when I talk on the phone with her, we talk for a long time. hehe - the day I had to tell Tom that I was talking to Frank on the phone so he wouldn't (d) laugh at me for talking to Deb AGAIN. Not that it fooled him. (d). He knew who was on the other end of the line. Ok. Really, I have to go pee. And this ends right ...NOW!
*poof* she's gone!
Monday, April 6, 2009
I am an idiot - or I just have really bad luck
So, I called JP Motors to see if they have a loaner car available as they're going to need my car for at least two days. I was informed that yes, one was just returned and I can head over to make the trade.
All is well except they couldn't find the original key or key fob, so I have to use the spare key... (and I quote) "please do not lose it or you'll be stranded."
So off I go on this chilly, wet, slushy spring day. I decided to grab another coffee, so I head to Horton's ... yadda yadda yadda. Got back out to the car. Go to unlock the doors....
BIG PROBLEM.
The spare key does NOT open the doors. Ignition key only. Not good. I am looking at my cell phone - locked safely in the car along with my desperately needed cigarettes. Have to go to a pay phone. FIFTY CENTS NOW! Luckily I had my wallet with me. I called the garage and thanked them for helping me out with the loaner car, and proceeded to tell them what I'd done. Twenty minutes later, a mechanic shows up to break into the car. After twenty minutes of fiddling, the door was finally unlocked. I'm not sure if he was annoyed by my comment that most 14 year old boys could have had it opened in less than a minute. Hey - it's true!
Now, another example of my dimwitted ways...
When my van was written off thanks to the hoist at Speedy Muffler, I was put into a rental car until the insurance company settled up. It was snowing. It was freaking cold! I got up the following morning and the car was a sheet of ice, so I decided to warm it up. I turned the car on and took the key fob off the keyring so I could lock it while it was warming up. After a few minutes, I head out to the car - press the handy dandy little button and.... nothing. Car wouldn't open. Seems the remote does not work when the car is running.
So, I call Budget to see if they have a spare set that someone could run over to me.
No such luck. "You'll have to call a tow company to get into the vehicle." Did I mention it was FREAKING COLD? Do you know how many cars do not start when it's -20°C outside? LOTS I TELL YOU! I had to wait three and a half hours for the tow truck to arrive. All the while, the car is running in the driveway. It was a mere $75.00 to get the doors open, but luckily it was a very fuel efficient car and used less than half a tank of gas.
I am an idiot with very bad luck!
All is well except they couldn't find the original key or key fob, so I have to use the spare key... (and I quote) "please do not lose it or you'll be stranded."
So off I go on this chilly, wet, slushy spring day. I decided to grab another coffee, so I head to Horton's ... yadda yadda yadda. Got back out to the car. Go to unlock the doors....
BIG PROBLEM.
The spare key does NOT open the doors. Ignition key only. Not good. I am looking at my cell phone - locked safely in the car along with my desperately needed cigarettes. Have to go to a pay phone. FIFTY CENTS NOW! Luckily I had my wallet with me. I called the garage and thanked them for helping me out with the loaner car, and proceeded to tell them what I'd done. Twenty minutes later, a mechanic shows up to break into the car. After twenty minutes of fiddling, the door was finally unlocked. I'm not sure if he was annoyed by my comment that most 14 year old boys could have had it opened in less than a minute. Hey - it's true!
Now, another example of my dimwitted ways...
When my van was written off thanks to the hoist at Speedy Muffler, I was put into a rental car until the insurance company settled up. It was snowing. It was freaking cold! I got up the following morning and the car was a sheet of ice, so I decided to warm it up. I turned the car on and took the key fob off the keyring so I could lock it while it was warming up. After a few minutes, I head out to the car - press the handy dandy little button and.... nothing. Car wouldn't open. Seems the remote does not work when the car is running.
So, I call Budget to see if they have a spare set that someone could run over to me.
No such luck. "You'll have to call a tow company to get into the vehicle." Did I mention it was FREAKING COLD? Do you know how many cars do not start when it's -20°C outside? LOTS I TELL YOU! I had to wait three and a half hours for the tow truck to arrive. All the while, the car is running in the driveway. It was a mere $75.00 to get the doors open, but luckily it was a very fuel efficient car and used less than half a tank of gas.
I am an idiot with very bad luck!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Another one that's not worth your time... honestly.
Today we went to Welland for a bowling tournament (65.8km / 45 minutes away according to the online map). We got there, only to be told that the date had been changed to April 26. This is the second time that the woman that runs the boys' bowling league has sent us to Welland on the wrong date. At least it wasn't snowing this time. Next tournament, I vowed to call the lanes that are hosting the event to verify that we haven't been misinformed again. I was so frustrated!
I knew the Rendezvous had some front end issues. I brought it in and asked for the following items to be looked at:
1) front end - left front tire has ZERO tread on the outer edge. Front tires were purchased 40,000km ago.
2) Brakes - car shudders to a stop. Horrid when slowing down from highway speeds.
3) Check for an intake gasket leak. Last two oil changes, the antifreeze has needed topping up, yet I haven't seen any puddles or other indications of an external leak.
The mechanic calls me at work on Thursday:
Him "Your vehicle needs a tremendous amount of work. You might want to sit down with your husband and decide what you want to do with the vehicle."
Me "I am not married. I bought this vehicle a little over a year ago from your dealership... I have four more years of payments... can you guess what I'm going to be doing with this vehicle? What does it need?"
Him "Well, you need pads and rotors. The front control arm bushing are gone. The tranny lines are starting to leak. The rear knuckles need replacing, and, the intake gasket is leaking as you suspected. You're looking at over $3300. and this does not include the tires you will need to replace."
Me "Well, when I bought the car, you sold me a warranty... will it not cover any of the work that's required?"
Him "Oh. I will have to call Coast to Coast and see. Will call you back and let you know what they say."
Fifteen minutes later:
Him "They will only cover the intake gasket repairs - knock about $1000.00 off the estimate."
So there you have it folks, another happy ending. (ha ha ha).
So on to the next thing that irks me. Remember me stating that my kids stink? Well, after 7 days of hanging outside to air, I am washing Cole's musty smelling bathing suit as he has swim practice on Tuesday. Once with soap and hot water - still smelled. Second with a litre of vinegar - still smells. Third wash in progress with some "Nature's Miracle" and soap. If this doesn't take out the smell, I am going to have to throw it out and buy him a new one tomorrow. I am not impressed.
This is where the bitching comes to an end. Hang on, there's more... My boobs hurt and my period arrived 8 days early for the second month in a row. OK. Now the bitching has come to an end. I am going to go out and grab a coffee and who knows? ...I might post something more humorous when I get back. Or I might park my butt on the couch and watch a movie. I haven't decided yet.
I knew the Rendezvous had some front end issues. I brought it in and asked for the following items to be looked at:
1) front end - left front tire has ZERO tread on the outer edge. Front tires were purchased 40,000km ago.
2) Brakes - car shudders to a stop. Horrid when slowing down from highway speeds.
3) Check for an intake gasket leak. Last two oil changes, the antifreeze has needed topping up, yet I haven't seen any puddles or other indications of an external leak.
The mechanic calls me at work on Thursday:
Him "Your vehicle needs a tremendous amount of work. You might want to sit down with your husband and decide what you want to do with the vehicle."
Me "I am not married. I bought this vehicle a little over a year ago from your dealership... I have four more years of payments... can you guess what I'm going to be doing with this vehicle? What does it need?"
Him "Well, you need pads and rotors. The front control arm bushing are gone. The tranny lines are starting to leak. The rear knuckles need replacing, and, the intake gasket is leaking as you suspected. You're looking at over $3300. and this does not include the tires you will need to replace."
Me "Well, when I bought the car, you sold me a warranty... will it not cover any of the work that's required?"
Him "Oh. I will have to call Coast to Coast and see. Will call you back and let you know what they say."
Fifteen minutes later:
Him "They will only cover the intake gasket repairs - knock about $1000.00 off the estimate."
So there you have it folks, another happy ending. (ha ha ha).
So on to the next thing that irks me. Remember me stating that my kids stink? Well, after 7 days of hanging outside to air, I am washing Cole's musty smelling bathing suit as he has swim practice on Tuesday. Once with soap and hot water - still smelled. Second with a litre of vinegar - still smells. Third wash in progress with some "Nature's Miracle" and soap. If this doesn't take out the smell, I am going to have to throw it out and buy him a new one tomorrow. I am not impressed.
This is where the bitching comes to an end. Hang on, there's more... My boobs hurt and my period arrived 8 days early for the second month in a row. OK. Now the bitching has come to an end. I am going to go out and grab a coffee and who knows? ...I might post something more humorous when I get back. Or I might park my butt on the couch and watch a movie. I haven't decided yet.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
A Saturday with Spongebob Squarepants
So this is how I've spent my Saturday afternoon... decorating a Spongebob cake (which is not as easy as one would think)! I'm happy with the finished product - cake is HUGE! I used my jelly roll pans to bake the cakes in (measures 18" x 13"). All I have left to do is the nameplate as I hate writing on cakes! It's a vanilla cake with buttercream frosting, covered in fondant. Took me three and a half hours to decorate - I did the baking and the crumb coat yesterday... Deliver it tomorrow morning, then in the afternoon, Cole and I have to bowl in a family twosome tournament in Welland. Yahoo. (hint of sarcasm). Alright. I have to make dinner. I am so hungry!
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