A lot has happened since I last posted, however nothing tremendously exciting. Let's see. I left off with a note that we were heading over the border. We did. Went to the Seneca casino. Sugarbooger won $800 and I won $400 playing blackjack. Not bad.
The boy across the street that was in the horrific car accident died in April.
My Grandma died May 14. Her body stopped making blood, so she was getting transfusions daily. My Mom and Dad were in Holland for three days when they got a call stating that things were going downhill - fast. They arrived back at some ungodly time in the morning after a lengthy flight. Luckily they made it in time to say their goodbyes. Grandma died a few hours later.
Early June. Child number 1 informed me she is pregnant. I just about had a heart attack. I was not prepared for this news. But, now that a few months have passed since she dropped the bomb, I'm actually looking forward to it. I really don't want to be a grandma at 38 but I suppose I will be a lot more fun now than I would be when I'm old and creaky. Looking as though it's going to be a girl. She's due to arrive on January 21.
June. Child number 3 started football. His first game is scheduled for this coming Sunday. He is all ready to go. He just attended a Tim Horton's mini camp where all the kids got to practice with some of the Hamilton Ti cats. Too bad he was sick as a dog. Massive head cold. He toughed it out for the first six stations, but had to sit out for the seventh. He felt so sick, he skipped the autograph session and asked that we go straight home. Poor kid.
July. Child number 3's birthday. My baby is now 10. Very scary.
Tom and I spent a weekend in Chicago with Tim and Nancy. Got to see Daryl and his girlfriend Holly (and their dog, Layla). Did the usual tourist things and we went to see Rascall Flatts play at Wrigley's Field while we were there too. We were on what's called the rooftops. It was a lot of fun, even if I didn't know a single song. Free booze. Because I wasn't the DD, I actually kicked back and had a few (or seven or eight).
Child number 2 bowled in the Canusa games in August. We had a boy named Jordan J. from Flint, MI. stay with us for the weekend. I took the kids to Niagara Falls. Went on the Maid of the Mist and wandered around like tourists. Had a lot of fun.
What else? Yesterday was Tom's birthday. Bought him half of a putter ($100 gift card for Golf Town) and stocked him up with sugary sweets (a tub of Double Bubble and a huge package of Reese peanut butter cups). He is on his way to Hamilton Golf and Country Club as I type this... going to try out his new club!
That about brings this blog back up to date. I have left a lot out, but I'm sure I'll fill in the blanks as I go along.
So there you have it. My life in a nutshell! OMG - remember the show the Greatest American Hero? The theme song is playing on the radio right now. I'm likely going to be singing it all day long now. Terrific.
Alright - I'm signing off. My stalker is North this week so I am at work with no one to talk to. Makes for a very long day! Hope she's having a blast! (ahhh - almost her birthday!)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
A Monday spent alone at home...
Where to start?
Monday - my day off today. I am at home by myself, bored to the core. I woke up to get the boys out the door, went back to sleep on the couch. Got up at 9:45 in time for the window guy who came over to quote (can you guess?) windows. He left, I talked to my boss on the phone, my stalker on the phone, my honey on the phone, my boss on the phone and half hour later, my boss again.
I waddled into the kitchen to prep the garlic chicken we're having for dinner. Part way into it, I realized that I don't have any garlic powder because about a month ago, I dumped all my spices into the bin seeing that I moved twice in the past six years - and they had made the moves with me. I'm sure they don't keep for six years. So I figured I'd wash the jars and refill them with fresh spices. Well, guess what I never got around to doing?
So, I head off to the store. I'm not sure why this tidbit of info has made it's way onto my blog. Nothing exciting happened... not like the time Deb and I were at Sobeys... I have to write this story down while I'm thinking of it.
We had gone to Sobeys (Deb HATES this store). One of the items on her list was chocolate milk powder. Somehow, she had passed it by a few aisles prior, but she refused to go back. She was frustrated because they stock their shelves weird. For instance: they keep the horseradish in a cooler with the eggs. Not sure how these two things are connected, but that's where you have to look to find it.
So anyway, we had separated and I met up with her at the end of an aisle and she was all excited because she had found some chocolate milk powder in a clearance cart (which she was still rummaging through). I took a closer look and noticed there was lettuce, tomatoes, fruit and all sorts of thing that would never be in a clearance cart. I pointed this out to her. She was going through someones cart while they were perusing the freezers. We start to laugh- all the while, trying to leave the area as quick as possible (as she stole the woman's chocolate milk powder!)
OK - back to what I was talking about which as I remember was nothing, so I'll just ramble on about the next random thought that pops into my head. Oh. I am making a lemon meringue pie for dessert. The garlic chicken used egg yolks, so I have all these egg whites to use somehow. So that's what's in the oven as I type away.
It's raining outside. The pool of blood that I left on "fall on your face Tuesday" has finally been washed away. I would have dragged the hose out, but the lines froze a couple years ago along that side of the house and it's not fixed yet so I couldn't.
Alright - I've been gone for quite a while now (bet you didn't even notice I was missing). Had to get the pie out of the oven, then decided I'd prep the baked potatoes, only to realize that I didn't have any. SO, I went back to the store, grabbed a coffee from Horton's, got home, washed the potatoes, threw them in the oven, set the table for dinner, loaded and ran the dishwasher, washed the dishes that don't belong in a dishwasher, talked to my Mom on the phone and now I'm back. (lucky you)
Went to Deb's yesterday - loaded the bikes in the truck so the kids could go to the Burlington dirt jumps. Poor Al. When we arrived, I asked him if he could look at Brett's bike because he said the chain kept falling off. So Al happily (or he puts on a really good show) took the bike and noted that it had no rear brakes as well. Who would have thought brakes would be required when jumping over hills? So, he fixed him all up and they went on their merry way.
Later in the afternoon we got a phone call from Deb's child #2 saying they were having a problem with a squirrel. It was a baby that wouldn't leave Cole alone. Kept following him So Deb told him to put it in the wooded area and leave it there. So that's what they did. Ten or fifteen minutes later he calls back saying that it came back and was crawling up Cole's leg. They asked if I could go over to see if I could make it stop. Deb said she'd send Al. (again, poor Al). So he hopped on his motorcycle to tend to the situation.
A short while after that, Dr Doolittle and a gaggle of kids were sitting on the front lawn with a baby squirrel. I took some pics on my phone, but can't download them, so when Deb downloads hers, I will add a pic. At the end of it all, their neighbor (a squirrel whisperer or something of the sort) took it in for the night to make sure it would be alright on its own. No update. Have no idea how it did overnight.
Well, the kids should be home from school soon, so I will end this here. No exciting plans for the week... work, work, bowling, work, work, drop kids off in Brantford and then it's the weekend. We've booked a hotel room at Niagara Falls - will pop over the border for a while, then back into Canada for the remainder of the day. Wonder how much the duty is on a case of beer? Tom really likes Rolling Rock, but you can't get it in Canada. That, and I'd like to go to a grocery store to pick up some of the other foods and snacks that you can't get here....
Man. What a boring post. Sorry. Will try to do better next time!
Phew! What a boring day.
Monday - my day off today. I am at home by myself, bored to the core. I woke up to get the boys out the door, went back to sleep on the couch. Got up at 9:45 in time for the window guy who came over to quote (can you guess?) windows. He left, I talked to my boss on the phone, my stalker on the phone, my honey on the phone, my boss on the phone and half hour later, my boss again.
I waddled into the kitchen to prep the garlic chicken we're having for dinner. Part way into it, I realized that I don't have any garlic powder because about a month ago, I dumped all my spices into the bin seeing that I moved twice in the past six years - and they had made the moves with me. I'm sure they don't keep for six years. So I figured I'd wash the jars and refill them with fresh spices. Well, guess what I never got around to doing?
So, I head off to the store. I'm not sure why this tidbit of info has made it's way onto my blog. Nothing exciting happened... not like the time Deb and I were at Sobeys... I have to write this story down while I'm thinking of it.
We had gone to Sobeys (Deb HATES this store). One of the items on her list was chocolate milk powder. Somehow, she had passed it by a few aisles prior, but she refused to go back. She was frustrated because they stock their shelves weird. For instance: they keep the horseradish in a cooler with the eggs. Not sure how these two things are connected, but that's where you have to look to find it.
So anyway, we had separated and I met up with her at the end of an aisle and she was all excited because she had found some chocolate milk powder in a clearance cart (which she was still rummaging through). I took a closer look and noticed there was lettuce, tomatoes, fruit and all sorts of thing that would never be in a clearance cart. I pointed this out to her. She was going through someones cart while they were perusing the freezers. We start to laugh- all the while, trying to leave the area as quick as possible (as she stole the woman's chocolate milk powder!)
OK - back to what I was talking about which as I remember was nothing, so I'll just ramble on about the next random thought that pops into my head. Oh. I am making a lemon meringue pie for dessert. The garlic chicken used egg yolks, so I have all these egg whites to use somehow. So that's what's in the oven as I type away.
It's raining outside. The pool of blood that I left on "fall on your face Tuesday" has finally been washed away. I would have dragged the hose out, but the lines froze a couple years ago along that side of the house and it's not fixed yet so I couldn't.
Alright - I've been gone for quite a while now (bet you didn't even notice I was missing). Had to get the pie out of the oven, then decided I'd prep the baked potatoes, only to realize that I didn't have any. SO, I went back to the store, grabbed a coffee from Horton's, got home, washed the potatoes, threw them in the oven, set the table for dinner, loaded and ran the dishwasher, washed the dishes that don't belong in a dishwasher, talked to my Mom on the phone and now I'm back. (lucky you)
Went to Deb's yesterday - loaded the bikes in the truck so the kids could go to the Burlington dirt jumps. Poor Al. When we arrived, I asked him if he could look at Brett's bike because he said the chain kept falling off. So Al happily (or he puts on a really good show) took the bike and noted that it had no rear brakes as well. Who would have thought brakes would be required when jumping over hills? So, he fixed him all up and they went on their merry way.
Later in the afternoon we got a phone call from Deb's child #2 saying they were having a problem with a squirrel. It was a baby that wouldn't leave Cole alone. Kept following him So Deb told him to put it in the wooded area and leave it there. So that's what they did. Ten or fifteen minutes later he calls back saying that it came back and was crawling up Cole's leg. They asked if I could go over to see if I could make it stop. Deb said she'd send Al. (again, poor Al). So he hopped on his motorcycle to tend to the situation.
A short while after that, Dr Doolittle and a gaggle of kids were sitting on the front lawn with a baby squirrel. I took some pics on my phone, but can't download them, so when Deb downloads hers, I will add a pic. At the end of it all, their neighbor (a squirrel whisperer or something of the sort) took it in for the night to make sure it would be alright on its own. No update. Have no idea how it did overnight.
Well, the kids should be home from school soon, so I will end this here. No exciting plans for the week... work, work, bowling, work, work, drop kids off in Brantford and then it's the weekend. We've booked a hotel room at Niagara Falls - will pop over the border for a while, then back into Canada for the remainder of the day. Wonder how much the duty is on a case of beer? Tom really likes Rolling Rock, but you can't get it in Canada. That, and I'd like to go to a grocery store to pick up some of the other foods and snacks that you can't get here....
Man. What a boring post. Sorry. Will try to do better next time!
Phew! What a boring day.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
OMG Stalker. It seems we're not alone
... people have been talking (or replying if you want to get all technical)
Oh, and the things I have written. Doing a mental flashback... what have I said?
- I admitted to eating litter
- I have proved I'm insane on several occasions
- I wrote about "Popsicle sticks"
- Oh, and my "sex with Deb" post.
- putting condoms on my Dad
- oh, and there's so much more...
I suppose I shall get on with the rant that I had mentally prepared while making a dinner that I knew I was not going to be able to eat.
Let's start off from my last post from a week ago.
Wednesday. Picked up the Rendezvous from the garage. They did not do all the work I requested, so now I have to make another appointment and will lose the car - again. After bowling, I decided to wash the car at the coin op wash. Hose blew. I was SOAKED from head to toe. Finally made it home, frozen to the core. Took me all bloody night to warm up again. Silver lining in this situation? hmm. I guess it would be the clean car.
Thursday. Was advised that my work hours were being knocked back. We are now closed on Fridays and we all have to take a day off during the week (this way no one has to be laid off). Just temporary, so everything should be alright. Silver lining in this situation? I now have Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Mondays off until things pick up.
Friday. Good Friday. Tom went golfing. I spent the whole day baking a cake that was to be delivered on Saturday. First chocolate cake failed. No idea what happened. Went in the bin. Second chocolate cake was okay, but the crust was hard. Made two vanilla cakes - again, the crusts were hard. Because it was good Friday and there were no stores open, I had to go to the corner store to get eggs, butter and icing sugar. CHA CHING! Ended up using cake mixes (which does not support fondant as well as one made from scratch). Then I spent the whole night decorating it. The fondant bow was pink and white. My intentions were to "glue" it together with white chocolate. Not sure why, but it would not melt, so I had to use yellow candy melts. While doing this, the bag I was using exploded and I had a mess of hot yellow gunk to clean up. Was up until 5:30am. Silver lining in this situation? The cake is done. She was very happy with it - overpaid me to say "thanks!"
Saturday. Went to Brantford for a family get together. Met at Boston Pizza. I ordered a bowl of chili ($8.95). Was smaller than a large chili from Wendy's. Went back to Mike and Elaine's to play cards. Tom won one of the rounds. I didn't win any. Silver lining in this situation? I was playing with Tom's money.
Sunday. Easter. No kids. Woke up at 11:30 and did absolutely nothing (that I can remember). Picked the boys up in Brantford at the usual time. They reek of that stupid pool again. Then, as we're driving back to the creek, don't we pass the dick - headed in the same direction. Why in the Hell did he make us drive to Brantford if he was going past Hamilton? Idiot. Silver lining in this situation? I am not married to the freak anymore.
Monday. My "volunteered" day off work. I did laundry all day until everything was washed (even the bedsheets). Made a roast beef for dinner. It might have looked good in the package, but it was full of grissel (how do you spell that?) and fat. Not nice at all. Filled up on potatoes. Silver lining in this situation? I didn't have to go to work and I didn't have roast beef stuck in my teeth because I didn't eat it.
Tuesday. Fall on your face Tuesday. Bad all the way through. Heard that Evan is in critical condition. Heard that his brother wrote off their mother's Explorer. Fell on my face. Got stitches on my chin. Have to live off yogurt because it hurts to chew anything. Mom called to say Grandma is in hospital again and that if she does not improve by tomorrow, they will be keeping her there until she passes. Silver lining in this situation? Two less cars on the street? (oh, that was really bad). ok - silver lining? I've never had stitches outside childbirth so this was an experience I've never known.
Wednesday - well, it's the wee hours of the morning and I'm sitting in a chair so I'm not likely to faint... So far so good! I am going to go to bed before it all falls apart on me!
Hope your sleeping the sleep of the just. Talk to you on IM tomorrow! BTW - my chin is STILL bleeding (although not very badly anymore). Oh, and since this has turned into a giant whine fest, my teeth now hurt, and so do my ribs, my shoulders and my spine (on top of all the original aches and pains from this morning). I imagine I went down like the people in those old Nestea commercials... know the one's I'm talking about? Oh, and your husband is a dink. Pregnant. How could he call me and say such nasty things? I'd be needing a ride to the Skyway.
Going to bed. Well, I lie. I am going to surf while I finish my coffee. Then I'm going to bed. I am hungry so I doubt I'll sleep, but I've got to try if nothing else. Night Chick (oh, and to anyone else that might be reading this).
Oh, and the things I have written. Doing a mental flashback... what have I said?
- I admitted to eating litter
- I have proved I'm insane on several occasions
- I wrote about "Popsicle sticks"
- Oh, and my "sex with Deb" post.
- putting condoms on my Dad
- oh, and there's so much more...
I suppose I shall get on with the rant that I had mentally prepared while making a dinner that I knew I was not going to be able to eat.
Let's start off from my last post from a week ago.
Wednesday. Picked up the Rendezvous from the garage. They did not do all the work I requested, so now I have to make another appointment and will lose the car - again. After bowling, I decided to wash the car at the coin op wash. Hose blew. I was SOAKED from head to toe. Finally made it home, frozen to the core. Took me all bloody night to warm up again. Silver lining in this situation? hmm. I guess it would be the clean car.
Thursday. Was advised that my work hours were being knocked back. We are now closed on Fridays and we all have to take a day off during the week (this way no one has to be laid off). Just temporary, so everything should be alright. Silver lining in this situation? I now have Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Mondays off until things pick up.
Friday. Good Friday. Tom went golfing. I spent the whole day baking a cake that was to be delivered on Saturday. First chocolate cake failed. No idea what happened. Went in the bin. Second chocolate cake was okay, but the crust was hard. Made two vanilla cakes - again, the crusts were hard. Because it was good Friday and there were no stores open, I had to go to the corner store to get eggs, butter and icing sugar. CHA CHING! Ended up using cake mixes (which does not support fondant as well as one made from scratch). Then I spent the whole night decorating it. The fondant bow was pink and white. My intentions were to "glue" it together with white chocolate. Not sure why, but it would not melt, so I had to use yellow candy melts. While doing this, the bag I was using exploded and I had a mess of hot yellow gunk to clean up. Was up until 5:30am. Silver lining in this situation? The cake is done. She was very happy with it - overpaid me to say "thanks!"
Saturday. Went to Brantford for a family get together. Met at Boston Pizza. I ordered a bowl of chili ($8.95). Was smaller than a large chili from Wendy's. Went back to Mike and Elaine's to play cards. Tom won one of the rounds. I didn't win any. Silver lining in this situation? I was playing with Tom's money.
Sunday. Easter. No kids. Woke up at 11:30 and did absolutely nothing (that I can remember). Picked the boys up in Brantford at the usual time. They reek of that stupid pool again. Then, as we're driving back to the creek, don't we pass the dick - headed in the same direction. Why in the Hell did he make us drive to Brantford if he was going past Hamilton? Idiot. Silver lining in this situation? I am not married to the freak anymore.
Monday. My "volunteered" day off work. I did laundry all day until everything was washed (even the bedsheets). Made a roast beef for dinner. It might have looked good in the package, but it was full of grissel (how do you spell that?) and fat. Not nice at all. Filled up on potatoes. Silver lining in this situation? I didn't have to go to work and I didn't have roast beef stuck in my teeth because I didn't eat it.
Tuesday. Fall on your face Tuesday. Bad all the way through. Heard that Evan is in critical condition. Heard that his brother wrote off their mother's Explorer. Fell on my face. Got stitches on my chin. Have to live off yogurt because it hurts to chew anything. Mom called to say Grandma is in hospital again and that if she does not improve by tomorrow, they will be keeping her there until she passes. Silver lining in this situation? Two less cars on the street? (oh, that was really bad). ok - silver lining? I've never had stitches outside childbirth so this was an experience I've never known.
Wednesday - well, it's the wee hours of the morning and I'm sitting in a chair so I'm not likely to faint... So far so good! I am going to go to bed before it all falls apart on me!
Hope your sleeping the sleep of the just. Talk to you on IM tomorrow! BTW - my chin is STILL bleeding (although not very badly anymore). Oh, and since this has turned into a giant whine fest, my teeth now hurt, and so do my ribs, my shoulders and my spine (on top of all the original aches and pains from this morning). I imagine I went down like the people in those old Nestea commercials... know the one's I'm talking about? Oh, and your husband is a dink. Pregnant. How could he call me and say such nasty things? I'd be needing a ride to the Skyway.
Going to bed. Well, I lie. I am going to surf while I finish my coffee. Then I'm going to bed. I am hungry so I doubt I'll sleep, but I've got to try if nothing else. Night Chick (oh, and to anyone else that might be reading this).
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TUESDAY
"Fall on your face Tuesday" is not one of my favorite days of the year. I was outside talking with Mrs. Tennessean this morning and half way through the conversation I started to feel "woozy" (that's the technical term). I rudely started to walk away from her, knowing that I was about to drop to the ground. I was trying to make it to the porch so I could sit on the stairs. I woke up on the ground, covered in blood and mud. Needed stitches for crying out loud. I am sore and swollen. I scuffed my left knee so it matches my right shin from my night prowling last week. I've hurt my hand. I can't chew. Hurts to swallow. This blows. This whole week has been a nightmarish Hell. More later. Have to get everything squared away before I head home for the day. I'll see if I can't burn myself or perhaps stab myself while making dinner. Stupid Tuesday.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Midnight Ramblings
12:38am.
Just finished making the loops for the bow for the cake for the 25h Wedding anniversary for Bernice for her aunt and uncle's celebration for their (you guessed it) 25th wedding anniversary to be paid for by her cousin.
Did you follow that?
I was supposed to email a price but I don't have her email address on my hotmail account snf zim noy sy eotk. (oops... had to shift my left hand over one key to the left) I just gave you the key - now if you're really interested in what that says, I'm sure you'll be able to decode it. Mrs. Gipp (grade 9 typing) would be having a heart attack right now. But I know why this was possible... I still have no feeling in my left fingers (thanks to King Luminaire's KA44 Quad arms). Stupid things. Pinched a nerve in my neck while helping the guys in the shop wrap them in order to meet a deadline. Never fully recovered. So, anyway, because I have no feeling in my index finger, I can no longer feel the little ridge on the f key which is there to tell my nifty little brain that my fingers are on the proper keys. Mrs. Gipp (grade 9 typing) would be very pleased to know that I did indeed absorb something she taught me.
I was supposed to bake a cake and have the cake balls all mixed and molded, ready for decorating tomorrow night. Unfortunately, I decided the bow was a little more important. Hell, I could just as easily bring in a box of Timbits for the class and the kids would be happy. Tom is such a light sleeper - I can't turn the mixer on or he'll be up in a flash. DAGNABBIT!
I was supposed to print off some tags for the cake balls but have decided that I needn't bother until I at least bake a cake... however I was looking forward to using the "boner" that Deb gave me for my birthday. (laughing to myself now). Deb gave me a boner. Deb didn't want to ask the guy at Michael's if he knew where she could find a boner. OK. OK. Now we know it's actually called a bone FOLDER, but I will always remember my 38th birthday as the year that Debbie gave me a boner (and a gift card to boot)!
I have flax seeds stuck in my teeth. I guess I really didn't need to inform you of this, but there you go. I already typed it, so that little tidbit of information is going to stay. Nail biting, gripping, on the edge of your seat blog entry... wouldn't you say?
1:03am. I am going to sign out and go to bed. Morning comes sooner than it did last week. The fine city is doing road work and Centennial and King is closed until May sometime. Now everyone detours down Lake and it makes my morning life a living Hell. I sure hope these workers do a better job than the ones that did the work at Guelph Line and New. Did you hear what they did? They dug up in front of the bowling alley - fixed the pipes or whatever it was that they were doing, and then cemented and stamped a new sidewalk. One problem... they didn't hook the water back up first, so they had to dig it all up again, hook the water into the bowling alley, then do the concrete pouring again. They did the same thing on New street. Paved the new road BEFORE the work underground was complete so they had to dig it all up again. Morons. My conspiracy theory way of thinking makes me believe that they were ensuring job security. As long as there was still work to be done, they'd all have a job.
1:09. Seriously. I am signing off now. Hope you're snug as a bug in your warm cozy bed. Thanks again for offering me your husband's clothes... how weird would that sound to anyone that wasn't privy to our conversation earlier? No worries. No one else is reading this.
Buy some new socks - preferably ones without stripes or patterns.
Night.
Just finished making the loops for the bow for the cake for the 25h Wedding anniversary for Bernice for her aunt and uncle's celebration for their (you guessed it) 25th wedding anniversary to be paid for by her cousin.
Did you follow that?
I was supposed to email a price but I don't have her email address on my hotmail account snf zim noy sy eotk. (oops... had to shift my left hand over one key to the left) I just gave you the key - now if you're really interested in what that says, I'm sure you'll be able to decode it. Mrs. Gipp (grade 9 typing) would be having a heart attack right now. But I know why this was possible... I still have no feeling in my left fingers (thanks to King Luminaire's KA44 Quad arms). Stupid things. Pinched a nerve in my neck while helping the guys in the shop wrap them in order to meet a deadline. Never fully recovered. So, anyway, because I have no feeling in my index finger, I can no longer feel the little ridge on the f key which is there to tell my nifty little brain that my fingers are on the proper keys. Mrs. Gipp (grade 9 typing) would be very pleased to know that I did indeed absorb something she taught me.
I was supposed to bake a cake and have the cake balls all mixed and molded, ready for decorating tomorrow night. Unfortunately, I decided the bow was a little more important. Hell, I could just as easily bring in a box of Timbits for the class and the kids would be happy. Tom is such a light sleeper - I can't turn the mixer on or he'll be up in a flash. DAGNABBIT!
I was supposed to print off some tags for the cake balls but have decided that I needn't bother until I at least bake a cake... however I was looking forward to using the "boner" that Deb gave me for my birthday. (laughing to myself now). Deb gave me a boner. Deb didn't want to ask the guy at Michael's if he knew where she could find a boner. OK. OK. Now we know it's actually called a bone FOLDER, but I will always remember my 38th birthday as the year that Debbie gave me a boner (and a gift card to boot)!
I have flax seeds stuck in my teeth. I guess I really didn't need to inform you of this, but there you go. I already typed it, so that little tidbit of information is going to stay. Nail biting, gripping, on the edge of your seat blog entry... wouldn't you say?
1:03am. I am going to sign out and go to bed. Morning comes sooner than it did last week. The fine city is doing road work and Centennial and King is closed until May sometime. Now everyone detours down Lake and it makes my morning life a living Hell. I sure hope these workers do a better job than the ones that did the work at Guelph Line and New. Did you hear what they did? They dug up in front of the bowling alley - fixed the pipes or whatever it was that they were doing, and then cemented and stamped a new sidewalk. One problem... they didn't hook the water back up first, so they had to dig it all up again, hook the water into the bowling alley, then do the concrete pouring again. They did the same thing on New street. Paved the new road BEFORE the work underground was complete so they had to dig it all up again. Morons. My conspiracy theory way of thinking makes me believe that they were ensuring job security. As long as there was still work to be done, they'd all have a job.
1:09. Seriously. I am signing off now. Hope you're snug as a bug in your warm cozy bed. Thanks again for offering me your husband's clothes... how weird would that sound to anyone that wasn't privy to our conversation earlier? No worries. No one else is reading this.
Buy some new socks - preferably ones without stripes or patterns.
Night.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Mind reading
One day while talking about an episode of the Simpsons that involved mind reading, Bart, Homer and the Meow mix theme, I asked Tom if he could read my mind.
(yes, he has to endure this type of conversation with me all the time - he knows I'm insane so I don't have to try to hide it from him anymore).
He replied "yes I can." I said "okay, tell me what's running though my mind right now."
And this was his reply:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=547QfRJ-yVM&feature=PlayList&p=1D63441A95F0AC1E&index=7
(yes, he has to endure this type of conversation with me all the time - he knows I'm insane so I don't have to try to hide it from him anymore).
He replied "yes I can." I said "okay, tell me what's running though my mind right now."
And this was his reply:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=547QfRJ-yVM&feature=PlayList&p=1D63441A95F0AC1E&index=7
I'm sorry - I'd have simply posted the video here, but I'm too freaking lazy right now.
Exciting news... read while sitting!
Did you fall for it (↑)? Or are you on to me? Ah, who am I kidding... you know I often lie on my blog, if for no other reason than to make myself feel better. Denial. It's what keeps me going...
Last night I had lots to do.
1) I assured Bernice that I would work out the price for a cake she has requested. You would like her Deb - I'm pretty sure she is a nutty as we are, but she hides it so much better than we can.
2) I had to bake a cake to make cake balls (sounds kinda Dr. Seuss-ish doesn't it?) so I could have the class Easter crap ready for school on Thursday morning (I bowl Wednesday night so I need to get everything prepped so all that's left to do after bowling is the decorating part). As you can tell by the link, I will be using the CASE method again.
3) I had to do a mass printing of Easter tags to go along with the "Easter crap."
Shall I do a play-by-play? I know how much more fun it is to have to endure... ummm, I mean read the ramblings of a bored psychopath in point form. Ok - I won't recap what I've already done. I don't have the patience for that.
So here's how my exciting day has unfolded:
7:00 - fell asleep on the couch (note, this was at 7:00pm on Monday)
7:30 - woke up
7:32 - came to realize it was 7:30, but not Monday night. In fact, it was no longer Monday.
7:33 - kicked myself for not accomplishing any of the tasks I laid out for myself last night.
7:33 - dragged my ass off the couch
7:34 - went to wake up Cole (already awake, washed, dressed and fed)
7:34 - went to wake up Brett (not as eager to be vertical - took some nagging)
7:35 - got ready for work.
8:00 - answered the phone (it was Tom who was making sure I was up)
8:20 - we headed out the door into brisk cold air and onto a snow covered ground.
8:21 - Mumbled a "Thank you Tom" for listening when I had mentioned that the loaner car did NOT have a snow brush in it. (He had cleared it off for me before he headed off to work)
8:25 - went to Horton's
8:40 - was sitting in Tom's office
8:50 - went to Neath's Supply to pick up some steel-toed work boots for the swamp monkey.
9:00 - was sitting at my desk (working)
10:45 - the clock watching started.
Last night I had lots to do.
1) I assured Bernice that I would work out the price for a cake she has requested. You would like her Deb - I'm pretty sure she is a nutty as we are, but she hides it so much better than we can.
2) I had to bake a cake to make cake balls (sounds kinda Dr. Seuss-ish doesn't it?) so I could have the class Easter crap ready for school on Thursday morning (I bowl Wednesday night so I need to get everything prepped so all that's left to do after bowling is the decorating part). As you can tell by the link, I will be using the CASE method again.
3) I had to do a mass printing of Easter tags to go along with the "Easter crap."
Shall I do a play-by-play? I know how much more fun it is to have to endure... ummm, I mean read the ramblings of a bored psychopath in point form. Ok - I won't recap what I've already done. I don't have the patience for that.
So here's how my exciting day has unfolded:
7:00 - fell asleep on the couch (note, this was at 7:00pm on Monday)
7:30 - woke up
7:32 - came to realize it was 7:30, but not Monday night. In fact, it was no longer Monday.
7:33 - kicked myself for not accomplishing any of the tasks I laid out for myself last night.
7:33 - dragged my ass off the couch
7:34 - went to wake up Cole (already awake, washed, dressed and fed)
7:34 - went to wake up Brett (not as eager to be vertical - took some nagging)
7:35 - got ready for work.
8:00 - answered the phone (it was Tom who was making sure I was up)
8:20 - we headed out the door into brisk cold air and onto a snow covered ground.
8:21 - Mumbled a "Thank you Tom" for listening when I had mentioned that the loaner car did NOT have a snow brush in it. (He had cleared it off for me before he headed off to work)
8:25 - went to Horton's
8:40 - was sitting in Tom's office
8:50 - went to Neath's Supply to pick up some steel-toed work boots for the swamp monkey.
9:00 - was sitting at my desk (working)
10:45 - the clock watching started.
Blah blah blah. I can't be bothered to do the point form anymore. My thoughts are not organized, so I'll go back to my usual scattered rambling...
Tom was just here with a coffee for me. My office door was closed so he couldn't see what I was doing. He does not know about my blog yet. No one does. Just you Deb.
I just caught myself smiling because an image of your socks flashed through my head. What was my comment? ... nice socks you fucking leprechaun. Why can I not just look at your socks and think "socks?" The ones that stand out in my mind are your Pippi Longstocking socks, your witch socks and your leprechaun socks. I'm thankful that you can't find the zebra socks you've been searching for... alright - enough about your odd fetish.
I have to leave work early today as Cole has swim practice again today. I pulled the smelly bathing suit out of the washer and to ensure that the odor was gone, I rolled it up with two Bounce sheets in it. I don't think it will ever smell of anything but flowers ever again. I think it now smells worse than it ever did. Holy cow those new bounce sheets are heavily scented!
Am I boring you to death yet? Would you prefer I do another one of those "try to follow my train of thought" posts again? Think I will - starting .... NOW.
I enjoy going back to read what I've written in these entries. However I find it difficult to type things as fast as I think them. By the time I've typed it out, I have to skip a few thoughts to keep up. For example... damn, it's gone. I was just remembering that you have a hard time reading these because you are an old biddy who needs new glasses. You need spacing. You want paragraphs. Well tough titty woman. Buy some solid coloured socks! Pippi Longstocking reminds me of Wendy - from the Wendy's chain. Must be the red pigtails. But then, why don't I think of Anne of Green Gables? I guess I do, because I just did. Hmm. Something to ponder. Later. Right now I am trying to type things as they come to mind. If I spend too much time on red pigtails... well that would be far TOO boring. This is bad enough. It is 1:27 right now. I am not going to do the time stamp thing again, however I did find it kind of amusing to do. Deb is going to Florida in a couple months. Fuck, I hope she doesn't find her zebra socks while there. I know they'll be wandering off the Disney grounds because she mentioned the space shuttle launch and seeing the ocean. That means she will have the opportunity to go shopping. And those damned Americans are likely to have something as stupid as zebra socks. Why not just black, white, blue, brown or gray socks? Even red socks are a little too much for me. Do I have a problem? Am I a sock racist? Did I word that right? Looked wrong, but who really cares? There is no possible way that she's still reading this. I should quiz her to see if she really does read everything I've taken the time to type out. But then again, she can read my mind. Oh, that's funny... just thinking of the time Tom said he was reading my mind. I will have to add a link to show just how funny he is. Coffee truck. Did you notice my absence? A hunk of pizza and a diet coke. I hate pizza but I'm hungry. Tonight we're having ravioli and caesar salad for dinner. Then I have to do everything that was supposed to be done last night while I was sleeping. Cole's grad pictures are tomorrow. $25 sitting fee. Wonder how much they're going to gouge me for the actual pictures? Thank God he agreed to a haircut. Otherwise I could have just found a picture of cousin It online and photo-shopped a grad cap on him. That's funny. I should do that anyway, just for shits n giggles. What's even funnier (although it's kind of mean) is that I have taken to calling Brett Pugsly Addams since he got his hair cut. Who does that make me? Morticia? Nah, I'm nowhere near skinny enough. However I am very pale. This pizza is disgusting. Just tossed it. I could have pulled the cork board off the wall and eaten in. Probably tastes the same. I wonder if Deb is still reading this? I wonder if her head hurts yet? If it does hurt is it because (a) there is no spacing between each line (b) there are no paragraphs to be found since starting this method of writing (c) she can't keep up to my train of thought (d) I boring her to death. But for (d) to be true, that would mean that a symptom of being bored to death would be a headache. I am not sure if this is true. So maybe (d) should just be (d) she is bored of reading this jargon. I wonder how hard she'll find it to follow this. (assuming she's still reading). Because I have typed so many (d) references, I wonder if her eyes will be drawn to them. Then, because her eyes don't know which (d) to scan to, she will end up reading the same sentences over and over until she comes upon the (d) that she should be looking at. In summary, I think I might have typed to many (d) references. HA HA HA. That's actually quite funny. I should just put random (d)'s throughout my posts to make her eyes wander. I bet I COULD give her a headache if I really wanted to. Although that would require her undivided attention, and I honestly doubt that I have it. Why would anyone want to sit and read through this? Because it's me? Because I am such an interesting person. I think she knows me better than that by now. (d) I just decided to throw that in. Don't ask me why. Well, I'll tell you why. Because I'm mean and spiteful and I am really trying to see if I can give you a (d) headache. I think I shall end this here. I have to go pee. I am sure Deb likes it when I advise her when my bladder is full. Now that I think about it (d) I am pretty sure I have to pee whenever I'm talking on the phone with her. Or (d) it could be that when I talk on the phone with her, we talk for a long time. hehe - the day I had to tell Tom that I was talking to Frank on the phone so he wouldn't (d) laugh at me for talking to Deb AGAIN. Not that it fooled him. (d). He knew who was on the other end of the line. Ok. Really, I have to go pee. And this ends right ...NOW!
*poof* she's gone!
Monday, April 6, 2009
I am an idiot - or I just have really bad luck
So, I called JP Motors to see if they have a loaner car available as they're going to need my car for at least two days. I was informed that yes, one was just returned and I can head over to make the trade.
All is well except they couldn't find the original key or key fob, so I have to use the spare key... (and I quote) "please do not lose it or you'll be stranded."
So off I go on this chilly, wet, slushy spring day. I decided to grab another coffee, so I head to Horton's ... yadda yadda yadda. Got back out to the car. Go to unlock the doors....
BIG PROBLEM.
The spare key does NOT open the doors. Ignition key only. Not good. I am looking at my cell phone - locked safely in the car along with my desperately needed cigarettes. Have to go to a pay phone. FIFTY CENTS NOW! Luckily I had my wallet with me. I called the garage and thanked them for helping me out with the loaner car, and proceeded to tell them what I'd done. Twenty minutes later, a mechanic shows up to break into the car. After twenty minutes of fiddling, the door was finally unlocked. I'm not sure if he was annoyed by my comment that most 14 year old boys could have had it opened in less than a minute. Hey - it's true!
Now, another example of my dimwitted ways...
When my van was written off thanks to the hoist at Speedy Muffler, I was put into a rental car until the insurance company settled up. It was snowing. It was freaking cold! I got up the following morning and the car was a sheet of ice, so I decided to warm it up. I turned the car on and took the key fob off the keyring so I could lock it while it was warming up. After a few minutes, I head out to the car - press the handy dandy little button and.... nothing. Car wouldn't open. Seems the remote does not work when the car is running.
So, I call Budget to see if they have a spare set that someone could run over to me.
No such luck. "You'll have to call a tow company to get into the vehicle." Did I mention it was FREAKING COLD? Do you know how many cars do not start when it's -20°C outside? LOTS I TELL YOU! I had to wait three and a half hours for the tow truck to arrive. All the while, the car is running in the driveway. It was a mere $75.00 to get the doors open, but luckily it was a very fuel efficient car and used less than half a tank of gas.
I am an idiot with very bad luck!
All is well except they couldn't find the original key or key fob, so I have to use the spare key... (and I quote) "please do not lose it or you'll be stranded."
So off I go on this chilly, wet, slushy spring day. I decided to grab another coffee, so I head to Horton's ... yadda yadda yadda. Got back out to the car. Go to unlock the doors....
BIG PROBLEM.
The spare key does NOT open the doors. Ignition key only. Not good. I am looking at my cell phone - locked safely in the car along with my desperately needed cigarettes. Have to go to a pay phone. FIFTY CENTS NOW! Luckily I had my wallet with me. I called the garage and thanked them for helping me out with the loaner car, and proceeded to tell them what I'd done. Twenty minutes later, a mechanic shows up to break into the car. After twenty minutes of fiddling, the door was finally unlocked. I'm not sure if he was annoyed by my comment that most 14 year old boys could have had it opened in less than a minute. Hey - it's true!
Now, another example of my dimwitted ways...
When my van was written off thanks to the hoist at Speedy Muffler, I was put into a rental car until the insurance company settled up. It was snowing. It was freaking cold! I got up the following morning and the car was a sheet of ice, so I decided to warm it up. I turned the car on and took the key fob off the keyring so I could lock it while it was warming up. After a few minutes, I head out to the car - press the handy dandy little button and.... nothing. Car wouldn't open. Seems the remote does not work when the car is running.
So, I call Budget to see if they have a spare set that someone could run over to me.
No such luck. "You'll have to call a tow company to get into the vehicle." Did I mention it was FREAKING COLD? Do you know how many cars do not start when it's -20°C outside? LOTS I TELL YOU! I had to wait three and a half hours for the tow truck to arrive. All the while, the car is running in the driveway. It was a mere $75.00 to get the doors open, but luckily it was a very fuel efficient car and used less than half a tank of gas.
I am an idiot with very bad luck!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Another one that's not worth your time... honestly.
Today we went to Welland for a bowling tournament (65.8km / 45 minutes away according to the online map). We got there, only to be told that the date had been changed to April 26. This is the second time that the woman that runs the boys' bowling league has sent us to Welland on the wrong date. At least it wasn't snowing this time. Next tournament, I vowed to call the lanes that are hosting the event to verify that we haven't been misinformed again. I was so frustrated!
I knew the Rendezvous had some front end issues. I brought it in and asked for the following items to be looked at:
1) front end - left front tire has ZERO tread on the outer edge. Front tires were purchased 40,000km ago.
2) Brakes - car shudders to a stop. Horrid when slowing down from highway speeds.
3) Check for an intake gasket leak. Last two oil changes, the antifreeze has needed topping up, yet I haven't seen any puddles or other indications of an external leak.
The mechanic calls me at work on Thursday:
Him "Your vehicle needs a tremendous amount of work. You might want to sit down with your husband and decide what you want to do with the vehicle."
Me "I am not married. I bought this vehicle a little over a year ago from your dealership... I have four more years of payments... can you guess what I'm going to be doing with this vehicle? What does it need?"
Him "Well, you need pads and rotors. The front control arm bushing are gone. The tranny lines are starting to leak. The rear knuckles need replacing, and, the intake gasket is leaking as you suspected. You're looking at over $3300. and this does not include the tires you will need to replace."
Me "Well, when I bought the car, you sold me a warranty... will it not cover any of the work that's required?"
Him "Oh. I will have to call Coast to Coast and see. Will call you back and let you know what they say."
Fifteen minutes later:
Him "They will only cover the intake gasket repairs - knock about $1000.00 off the estimate."
So there you have it folks, another happy ending. (ha ha ha).
So on to the next thing that irks me. Remember me stating that my kids stink? Well, after 7 days of hanging outside to air, I am washing Cole's musty smelling bathing suit as he has swim practice on Tuesday. Once with soap and hot water - still smelled. Second with a litre of vinegar - still smells. Third wash in progress with some "Nature's Miracle" and soap. If this doesn't take out the smell, I am going to have to throw it out and buy him a new one tomorrow. I am not impressed.
This is where the bitching comes to an end. Hang on, there's more... My boobs hurt and my period arrived 8 days early for the second month in a row. OK. Now the bitching has come to an end. I am going to go out and grab a coffee and who knows? ...I might post something more humorous when I get back. Or I might park my butt on the couch and watch a movie. I haven't decided yet.
I knew the Rendezvous had some front end issues. I brought it in and asked for the following items to be looked at:
1) front end - left front tire has ZERO tread on the outer edge. Front tires were purchased 40,000km ago.
2) Brakes - car shudders to a stop. Horrid when slowing down from highway speeds.
3) Check for an intake gasket leak. Last two oil changes, the antifreeze has needed topping up, yet I haven't seen any puddles or other indications of an external leak.
The mechanic calls me at work on Thursday:
Him "Your vehicle needs a tremendous amount of work. You might want to sit down with your husband and decide what you want to do with the vehicle."
Me "I am not married. I bought this vehicle a little over a year ago from your dealership... I have four more years of payments... can you guess what I'm going to be doing with this vehicle? What does it need?"
Him "Well, you need pads and rotors. The front control arm bushing are gone. The tranny lines are starting to leak. The rear knuckles need replacing, and, the intake gasket is leaking as you suspected. You're looking at over $3300. and this does not include the tires you will need to replace."
Me "Well, when I bought the car, you sold me a warranty... will it not cover any of the work that's required?"
Him "Oh. I will have to call Coast to Coast and see. Will call you back and let you know what they say."
Fifteen minutes later:
Him "They will only cover the intake gasket repairs - knock about $1000.00 off the estimate."
So there you have it folks, another happy ending. (ha ha ha).
So on to the next thing that irks me. Remember me stating that my kids stink? Well, after 7 days of hanging outside to air, I am washing Cole's musty smelling bathing suit as he has swim practice on Tuesday. Once with soap and hot water - still smelled. Second with a litre of vinegar - still smells. Third wash in progress with some "Nature's Miracle" and soap. If this doesn't take out the smell, I am going to have to throw it out and buy him a new one tomorrow. I am not impressed.
This is where the bitching comes to an end. Hang on, there's more... My boobs hurt and my period arrived 8 days early for the second month in a row. OK. Now the bitching has come to an end. I am going to go out and grab a coffee and who knows? ...I might post something more humorous when I get back. Or I might park my butt on the couch and watch a movie. I haven't decided yet.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
A Saturday with Spongebob Squarepants
So this is how I've spent my Saturday afternoon... decorating a Spongebob cake (which is not as easy as one would think)! I'm happy with the finished product - cake is HUGE! I used my jelly roll pans to bake the cakes in (measures 18" x 13"). All I have left to do is the nameplate as I hate writing on cakes! It's a vanilla cake with buttercream frosting, covered in fondant. Took me three and a half hours to decorate - I did the baking and the crumb coat yesterday... Deliver it tomorrow morning, then in the afternoon, Cole and I have to bowl in a family twosome tournament in Welland. Yahoo. (hint of sarcasm). Alright. I have to make dinner. I am so hungry!
Monday, March 30, 2009
My kids smell really bad.
We picked up the boys yesterday after their visit with the sperm donor.
They climb in the car and I got a whiff of a heavy, musty smell. It was Cole's bathing suit. Seems psycho is in the midst of moving and the new place has an indoor pool (which happens to be green with algae). He let the boys swim in it anyway.
So this morning after I started the water in the tub, I headed upstairs to wake up Brett. All I could smell was that musty smell, so I told him to hop in the bath I was running for myself, but to make it quick because I had to have a shower when he was done. So then I wandered downstairs to wake up Cole. I get to the landing and I smell the musty smell again. I asked Cole if he had a shower after swimming. He said no. So now there are three of us in need of the shower and only 30 minutes before we have to head out the door.
Brett gets out of the bath. I hopped in the shower while Cole made his lunch and Brett got dressed. I got out of the shower and Cole got in - Brett passed me on the way to the kitchen to make his lunch and I smelled the must AGAIN. So, I figured he hadn't washed his hair properly (seeing that he's 9 this was not an unrealistic conclusion). So Cole gets out of the shower, I have Brett lean over the tub while I wash his hair for him. Dry him off. He STILL smells like must. I call Cole over and smell his hair. He STILL smells too. I can't get rid of the smell!
So then, while putting his shoes on, Brett informs me that his head hurts because his ears are still full of water from swimming, and his neck is sore... inside. I asked if he got any water in his mouth while swimming. He said "just swallowed a little mouthful." I was FUMING! So, I had to pull out the peroxide and a syringe and squirted some in his ears, massaging them to make sure that it cleaned out the entire cavity. His ears did pop - and they were still "fizzing" after cleaning them with Q-Tips. I can imagine what had been festering in there overnight.
I emailed psycho to complain that this was NOT acceptable - he assured me that the pool had been tested on Friday and that it was fine for swimming... that yes, it was green, but there was nothing living in the water. And as for the smell, he said that he wasn't aware it smelled until AFTER the boys got out.
What an idiot. I am so fed up.
The kids stink. The kids' bedding now stinks. The kids' bathing suits now stink - AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WILL GET RID OF THE SMELL! It's like the time Tom and I got sprayed by a skunk. Stupid story...
We had just moved into the house and decided to go for a walk to Horton's as it was a nice, crisp autumn evening. On the way home, we encountered a horrid smell. I questioned if it was the leaves we were disturbing as we walked. Took a quick look around, and there - probably 30-40 feet away was a skunk crossing the street. I assume something spooked it and it sprayed - the wind caught it and blew it at us. It was gross. I washed our clothes twice with no success. We had to leave our shoes and clothes outside on the clothes line for three weeks before the smell could be washed out. Oh, it was bad. It was the best "Welcome to the neighborhood" I have ever encountered!
Alright, enough of this bitch-fest. I promise when I come back that I will be in a better frame of mind.
They climb in the car and I got a whiff of a heavy, musty smell. It was Cole's bathing suit. Seems psycho is in the midst of moving and the new place has an indoor pool (which happens to be green with algae). He let the boys swim in it anyway.
So this morning after I started the water in the tub, I headed upstairs to wake up Brett. All I could smell was that musty smell, so I told him to hop in the bath I was running for myself, but to make it quick because I had to have a shower when he was done. So then I wandered downstairs to wake up Cole. I get to the landing and I smell the musty smell again. I asked Cole if he had a shower after swimming. He said no. So now there are three of us in need of the shower and only 30 minutes before we have to head out the door.
Brett gets out of the bath. I hopped in the shower while Cole made his lunch and Brett got dressed. I got out of the shower and Cole got in - Brett passed me on the way to the kitchen to make his lunch and I smelled the must AGAIN. So, I figured he hadn't washed his hair properly (seeing that he's 9 this was not an unrealistic conclusion). So Cole gets out of the shower, I have Brett lean over the tub while I wash his hair for him. Dry him off. He STILL smells like must. I call Cole over and smell his hair. He STILL smells too. I can't get rid of the smell!
So then, while putting his shoes on, Brett informs me that his head hurts because his ears are still full of water from swimming, and his neck is sore... inside. I asked if he got any water in his mouth while swimming. He said "just swallowed a little mouthful." I was FUMING! So, I had to pull out the peroxide and a syringe and squirted some in his ears, massaging them to make sure that it cleaned out the entire cavity. His ears did pop - and they were still "fizzing" after cleaning them with Q-Tips. I can imagine what had been festering in there overnight.
I emailed psycho to complain that this was NOT acceptable - he assured me that the pool had been tested on Friday and that it was fine for swimming... that yes, it was green, but there was nothing living in the water. And as for the smell, he said that he wasn't aware it smelled until AFTER the boys got out.
What an idiot. I am so fed up.
The kids stink. The kids' bedding now stinks. The kids' bathing suits now stink - AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WILL GET RID OF THE SMELL! It's like the time Tom and I got sprayed by a skunk. Stupid story...
We had just moved into the house and decided to go for a walk to Horton's as it was a nice, crisp autumn evening. On the way home, we encountered a horrid smell. I questioned if it was the leaves we were disturbing as we walked. Took a quick look around, and there - probably 30-40 feet away was a skunk crossing the street. I assume something spooked it and it sprayed - the wind caught it and blew it at us. It was gross. I washed our clothes twice with no success. We had to leave our shoes and clothes outside on the clothes line for three weeks before the smell could be washed out. Oh, it was bad. It was the best "Welcome to the neighborhood" I have ever encountered!
Alright, enough of this bitch-fest. I promise when I come back that I will be in a better frame of mind.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday adventures
I got your text last night - we must have been at the bowling alley when you sent it because I didn't hear the notification until we were in the car on the way home. (oh, and to answer the question of whether we were sitting in the dark for earth day; does glow in the dark bowling count?)
It was alright - bowled a 217 and a 180-something. Near the end of the last game, some kids started bowling on the lanes next to us. Some little #$%@#^ grabbed a ball and launched it so hard that after it hit the right gutter, it came flying across the ball return and smashed into the panel above OUR lane and came back towards the approach in OUR right gutter. Next time it was my turn, I realized that it was one of MY personal balls that had fallen victim to the idiot. It now has a huge chunk out of it. Tom (Red Foreman) freaked on the kid. Anyway, what's done is done. Not like he did it on purpose, and how was he to know they weren't house balls?
You said that you'd filled 8 lawn bags of crap from your garden. I did nothing of the sort and today, all the piles of leaves and miscellaneous crap that I did mangae to rake up are now giant piles of wet gunk, so I will have to wait for them to dry before I can even consider putting them into those stupid paper lawn bags.
With regards to my last post, you asked "why post that you don't feel like typing - isn't it easier to click on the X?" The answer is simple. I spent all that energy to type it, and I didn't want my effort to go unnoticed, so I opted to post it. Why waste it?
Jay and Emma came over last night. I gave Emma the Mexican Jumping Beans I bought for Ian. She said they had something for me too. Like me, she had to borrow a pen to fill in the card and then she handed me a gift card for Michael's!
They headed home at about 1:45am. They forgot the jumping beans.
We have nothing exciting planned for today. Dull and dreary outside which is probably a good thing because our energy levels mirror the weather. Very tired. Only got 11 hours sleep!
I am going to go eat breakfast (current time 1:18 in the afternoon).
It was alright - bowled a 217 and a 180-something. Near the end of the last game, some kids started bowling on the lanes next to us. Some little #$%@#^ grabbed a ball and launched it so hard that after it hit the right gutter, it came flying across the ball return and smashed into the panel above OUR lane and came back towards the approach in OUR right gutter. Next time it was my turn, I realized that it was one of MY personal balls that had fallen victim to the idiot. It now has a huge chunk out of it. Tom (Red Foreman) freaked on the kid. Anyway, what's done is done. Not like he did it on purpose, and how was he to know they weren't house balls?
You said that you'd filled 8 lawn bags of crap from your garden. I did nothing of the sort and today, all the piles of leaves and miscellaneous crap that I did mangae to rake up are now giant piles of wet gunk, so I will have to wait for them to dry before I can even consider putting them into those stupid paper lawn bags.
With regards to my last post, you asked "why post that you don't feel like typing - isn't it easier to click on the X?" The answer is simple. I spent all that energy to type it, and I didn't want my effort to go unnoticed, so I opted to post it. Why waste it?
Jay and Emma came over last night. I gave Emma the Mexican Jumping Beans I bought for Ian. She said they had something for me too. Like me, she had to borrow a pen to fill in the card and then she handed me a gift card for Michael's!
They headed home at about 1:45am. They forgot the jumping beans.
We have nothing exciting planned for today. Dull and dreary outside which is probably a good thing because our energy levels mirror the weather. Very tired. Only got 11 hours sleep!
I am going to go eat breakfast (current time 1:18 in the afternoon).
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Insanity has its rewards
These pictures are more for my use than for your amusement. You see, we have these neighbors across the street (we refer to them as the rednecks our next door neighbors call them the Tennessee-ans) ((I have no idea how I should spell that)). ← (((like the way I did that?!)))
Anyway, this family usually has five or six cars parked out front - at night their cars line the street because their driveway is full of crap. They are at work right now, so I had a chance to snap a couple pictures. Last year, they had a car parked in their back yard for 9 months.
Over the winter, they bought a snowplow. (they have a gravel driveway and the cars in it haven't moved in a coon's age) ((what exactly is a coon's age?)) ← (((again))). They did help out their idiot neighbor (green bin and blue box next door to them). The guy dragged all the snow out of his driveway and left it in a pile on the road. Not sure why - this guy never parks in his driveway either. It's an obstacle course trying to get home as it's a narrow street and these clowns refuse to park in their driveways.
Anyway. Snow season is over. As you can see from the second pic, it looks as though they plan to store the blade on their front grass with the pile of extra car parts that have already been sitting there for over a year. The latest addition to the lawn is the boat and trailer. It arrived last week. Why can't they just buy garden gnomes?
So again, the purpose of these pictures is to see how long before any of these items disappear. Note - it is March 27. The boat arrived March 19. The snowplow blade has been on the grass since early February. The car parts have been there for a little over a year if my memory serves me well.
** I have decided to remove the pictures out of respect for the family's loss - you never know who might trip over this blog - and knowing my luck, it would be someone who knows them **
Anyway, this family usually has five or six cars parked out front - at night their cars line the street because their driveway is full of crap. They are at work right now, so I had a chance to snap a couple pictures. Last year, they had a car parked in their back yard for 9 months.
Over the winter, they bought a snowplow. (they have a gravel driveway and the cars in it haven't moved in a coon's age) ((what exactly is a coon's age?)) ← (((again))). They did help out their idiot neighbor (green bin and blue box next door to them). The guy dragged all the snow out of his driveway and left it in a pile on the road. Not sure why - this guy never parks in his driveway either. It's an obstacle course trying to get home as it's a narrow street and these clowns refuse to park in their driveways.
Anyway. Snow season is over. As you can see from the second pic, it looks as though they plan to store the blade on their front grass with the pile of extra car parts that have already been sitting there for over a year. The latest addition to the lawn is the boat and trailer. It arrived last week. Why can't they just buy garden gnomes?
So again, the purpose of these pictures is to see how long before any of these items disappear. Note - it is March 27. The boat arrived March 19. The snowplow blade has been on the grass since early February. The car parts have been there for a little over a year if my memory serves me well.
** I have decided to remove the pictures out of respect for the family's loss - you never know who might trip over this blog - and knowing my luck, it would be someone who knows them **
Now, on to bigger and better things.
I stopped by to see my stalker after work as I bought her some "bitch bullets" because, while we were yapping on IM, she said that she was dying with severe cramps. (aren't you glad I posted that?)
SO, since I was in the area anyway, I popped into Holland Park Garden because they have Mexican Jumping Beans for sale. I hadn't seen these in years and I was just talking about them with a friend's son, who had never heard of them. So I bought 3 boxes - one for Ian, one for Cole and one for Brett.
Hold tight.. I know this is boring, but I'm telling you, it's about to get interesting. You will have the opportunity to see just how this brain of mine works.
FIRST - I caught myself driving like I was delivering an assembled, six tiered wedding cake. Slowing down for corners, driving the speed limit, and leaving a larger "cushion" than I normally would (who am I kidding - I tailgate until the idiot in front of me switches lanes to get me off his ass). All this for three little boxes of Mexican Jumping Beans.
SECOND - Lost in thought while driving (I was thinking about whether or not I could ever have sex with Deb... and I hate to disappoint you Deb, but I decided that it would be unlikely - unless of course, it was on your bucket list!) I sure hope no one else is reading this blog. Bah - I'm sure they would have given up on it by now... I digress.
SECOND (again) - I thought I was driving with my indicator on. I didn't see the blinking arrows on my dash so I immediately thought a bulb had burnt out. So, in an attempt to turn my indicator off, I turned it on because the noise was actually the beans jumping around.
THIRD - I pondered. Deep, meaningful thoughts. I was wondering what made the beans start up all of a sudden? Was it the music? At the time I noticed their movement, I was listening to Island in the Sun by Weezer. I flipped to the radio and Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen was playing. Not sure if they stopped jumping or if I just didn't hear them anymore as I turned the volume up. So, I never did figure out the answer. Besides, I got distracted by some dick that somehow managed to get in front of me going 20km/h slower than I was.
FOURTH - once Dick moved over to get me off his ass, I started to pay attention to the beans again. Instead of wondering if it was the music that was causing them to jump, I started wondering that, if they were jumping because of the music, what did the jumping mean? Was it an indication that they liked the music - or disliked it? I decided it meant they liked it. Thought of my kids in the back seat head banging whenever AC/DC was playing. Envisioned little larva head bangers - sporting bandannas, body piercings and tattoos.
Finally I got home. I had every intention of going down to do some laundry and to drag the vacuum around, but then I realized I had the opportunity to take pictures of the junk yard across the street and got sidetracked. I am going to end this and go do something productive. The boys will be home in a half hour and I'm taking them to get haircuts when they arrive. So, there you have it. I tell you, if I wasn't insane, I'd be very bored.
Another productive day at work
This is what I'm thinking of painting on the wall at the front doorway. I could use my stalker's CASE method (copy and steal everything) and do the wording like this (stolen from her blog that she stole from a blog). Only I wouldn't paint the letters the same colour as the walls, so they would stand out. What do you think?! Where in the Hell is my stalker? No posts. No comments. I know you said you needed to get rid of all the negativity in your life... did that include my blog?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Batman holds a disgusting secret....
I just cleaned the litter box so I could sit here and surf without the horrid smell in the room with me. No sooner do I sit down after it was done and guess who sauntered in? Good 'ol Bonnie.
Many years ago when Jade was probably 5, I decided to clean out her toy box while she was at school. While rummaging through the Spice Girl paraphernalia, the pogs, the sky dancers, the Polly pockets, the tamagotchi things, the Barbies, light bright pegs, hundreds of McDonald's happy meal toys, the Furbies and whatever else she convinced me to buy for her, I came across a little container of candies. It was a Batman head and when I picked it up I noted there were still candies in it. I opened it. Odd grey candies. Why hadn't Jade eaten them? I decided that they were probably licorice flavored or perhaps sour. So I popped some in my mouth to see.
I realized in horror, that they weren't candies at all. She was obviously playing some twisted little game and had filled the Batman head with something other than candies. Gross. I had eaten cat litter. For some reason, she decided that the hundreds of dollars worth of toys in her room were not as fun to play with as the cat's "sand box." In my defense, I had just had Cole and was dealing with "mommy brain" at the time. I have no other excuse that might explain why I didn't know it was litter, just by looking at it.
I'm tired, but had to do a couple loads of laundry so the kids don't have to go to school in bathing suits tomorrow. So I decided to surf for a while, but then I saw Bonnie in the box and decided I had to blog about it for some unknown reason. Then, to make this whole experience worse, I admitted publicly that I have eaten litter. Oh my day just keeps getting better and better.
Cole, he FINALLY decided to get a haircut. Said he's going to get it cut short (hooray!) and will let it grow back so it will be long again by Christmas. (boo!)
Alright, I am yawning which is causing my eyes to water and my nose to run. I am going to go collapse. Morning comes too soon!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I was up to my ass in alligators all day...
...and it's left me absolutely exhausted.
I am done for the day. Well, not technically, but my brain is full. I can hold no more information until some of the days input is absorbed.
It has been a long one again. I am so ready to quit my job and apply at Horton's. Must be nice to have a job that you leave at work. A job that requires very little thought. Hell - if experience has taught me anything, it's that if you work behind the counter at Tim Horton's, you don't even have to give the customer what they order. If you can't remember, just wing it and chances are, they won't notice until they're on the highway! Drive through is even easier. Work as slow as you possibly can, and maybe the customers will just give up and go somewhere else (saving you a ton of work)!
I swear, today has been a creative accounting kind of day. I know very well that tomorrow I will look at what I've done today and wonder what in the Hell I was thinking. Ugh. I hate days like this.
At this very moment, it is 4:06. I have 20 minutes left of this personal Hell I call my workday. Looks like rain outside. Of course it's going to rain. It's Wednesday and I have to go bowling tonight - this means I will be unable to see the lines on the road as described in an earlier post. I'd add a link, but figure why bother? Who wants to read MORE of what I have written in this pathetic blog?
Well, I should go. I might have said I am done, but I have to do up a deposit and hit the bank on my way home. Exciting stuff eh? I'd make my usual pledge that my next entry will be more interesting, but I think you've caught on to the fact that I lie and exaggerate when it comes to my blog entries.
I don't feel like writing anymore so I won't
I am done for the day. Well, not technically, but my brain is full. I can hold no more information until some of the days input is absorbed.
It has been a long one again. I am so ready to quit my job and apply at Horton's. Must be nice to have a job that you leave at work. A job that requires very little thought. Hell - if experience has taught me anything, it's that if you work behind the counter at Tim Horton's, you don't even have to give the customer what they order. If you can't remember, just wing it and chances are, they won't notice until they're on the highway! Drive through is even easier. Work as slow as you possibly can, and maybe the customers will just give up and go somewhere else (saving you a ton of work)!
I swear, today has been a creative accounting kind of day. I know very well that tomorrow I will look at what I've done today and wonder what in the Hell I was thinking. Ugh. I hate days like this.
At this very moment, it is 4:06. I have 20 minutes left of this personal Hell I call my workday. Looks like rain outside. Of course it's going to rain. It's Wednesday and I have to go bowling tonight - this means I will be unable to see the lines on the road as described in an earlier post. I'd add a link, but figure why bother? Who wants to read MORE of what I have written in this pathetic blog?
Well, I should go. I might have said I am done, but I have to do up a deposit and hit the bank on my way home. Exciting stuff eh? I'd make my usual pledge that my next entry will be more interesting, but I think you've caught on to the fact that I lie and exaggerate when it comes to my blog entries.
I don't feel like writing anymore so I won't
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I am special (in a short bus kinda way)!
I am special - in a short bus kinda way. Tonight at dinner, I grabbed my napkin to wipe my mouth. I guess it was covered in crumbs and when I picked it up, they all flew into my eye. That was at 5:30. It's now almost midnight and I finally got them out!
I guess it could have been worse. Jade once bit into a cheese doggie and the melted cheese squirted her in the eye. And one day on lunch break, Mike was bugging Barb - pretending to pound his fist on a little packet of ketchup that was on the table in front of her. Only thing was, he did end up hitting the packet causing it to explode and it flew into Barb's eye. That would have been bad enough, but we soon realized it was hot sauce and not ketchup. This was the first and only time anyone has ever had to use our eye wash station.
Eating is dangerous.
Many years ago, there was a very large woman that lived across the street from my parents. Her husband demanded that she get her eating under control and started taking inventory of the food in the house before he went to work. Because of this, she gained even MORE weight. She later admitted that if there were four Oreos missing from the box, she would eat the remainder, go out and buy another box and eat four out of it so he wouldn't know that she'd eaten any. How bad is that.
She ended up joining weight watchers and last time I saw her, she looked terrific. Guess you have to want to do it for yourself. No one can tell you what to do.
I was watching The First 48 earlier while Tom was on the bike. (It's a rare thing for MoeMoe to have control of the converter when anyone else is awake). Condensed version... Tom came out, let me finish watching the episode (there were two more to follow), he grabbed the remote, flipped through the guide for a few minutes, then said "I don't know what you want on..." WTF? How could he not know what I wanted on. Any time I am watching it when he comes home, he says "haven't you seen this one yet?" He knows I enjoy watching the show. I enjoy it even more when Sergeant Caroline Mason from Tennessee is on - I swear hear tongue is too big for her mouth or something - I can barely understand what she's saying because she mumbles.
Drives me mental!
I swear Bonnie and Clyde are out to kill me. They were named appropriately. These cats WILL NOT cover their poop when they're done in the litter box. I swear someone could die from the odor. It's toxic!
I have to get out of here - OMG - this is horrid
HOLY JUMPIN' ...
I did it again yesterday...
I got home from work
Made dinner
Ate dinner
Did the dishes
Started to watch the 6:00 news
Fell asleep on the couch
Woke up this morning at 7:30
Poked the kids to wake them up
Had a shower
Said Good Morning to Cole who was fixing his breakfast
Woke up Brett again
Got dressed and brushed my teeth
Woke up Brett again
Brushed and dried my hair
Woke up Brett again
Went down and fed the cats
Threatened Brett with an earlier bedtime
Filled out a form for a class trip to Medieval Times
Helped the boys pack their lunches
Dropped them off at school
Grabbed coffee
Dropped one off to Tom
Drove to CompAir to pick up some oil for the compressor
Got to work
Worked.
Finally taking a break (which is about to come to an abrupt halt because there is a truck with a huge load that just pulled up).
I didn't bring a lunch (as usual) but was starving, so I decided to grab something off the coffee truck. Something small. Something quick. I decided that a sausage roll would do the trick along with a diet coke. (Keep the calorie intake down). I came inside and while unwrapping the sausage roll, noticed that the nutrition facts were printed on the back of the wrapper. I just about had a heart attack (and I hadn't even taken a bite yet)!
I got home from work
Made dinner
Ate dinner
Did the dishes
Started to watch the 6:00 news
Fell asleep on the couch
Woke up this morning at 7:30
Poked the kids to wake them up
Had a shower
Said Good Morning to Cole who was fixing his breakfast
Woke up Brett again
Got dressed and brushed my teeth
Woke up Brett again
Brushed and dried my hair
Woke up Brett again
Went down and fed the cats
Threatened Brett with an earlier bedtime
Filled out a form for a class trip to Medieval Times
Helped the boys pack their lunches
Dropped them off at school
Grabbed coffee
Dropped one off to Tom
Drove to CompAir to pick up some oil for the compressor
Got to work
Worked.
Finally taking a break (which is about to come to an abrupt halt because there is a truck with a huge load that just pulled up).
I didn't bring a lunch (as usual) but was starving, so I decided to grab something off the coffee truck. Something small. Something quick. I decided that a sausage roll would do the trick along with a diet coke. (Keep the calorie intake down). I came inside and while unwrapping the sausage roll, noticed that the nutrition facts were printed on the back of the wrapper. I just about had a heart attack (and I hadn't even taken a bite yet)!
Hopefully this picture can be blown up (seems I haven't mastered the picture part of this whole blog thing). If not, I was shocked to see that this 150g roll contains 470 calories and 27 grams of fat! This makes me wonder how much Crisco would have the equivalant amount of fat? Gross. I ate it anyway - I was hungry.
Well, it's time for me to get going. Hopefully my next post will be something worth reading, but I highly doubt it. You have been warned so many times, yet you keep coming back!
Monday, March 23, 2009
What was I thinking?
Here is the assignment from grade eight that I was talking about. I cannot believe that I handed this in! I guess I have had my odd sense of humor a lot longer than I remember...
I saw this and asked myself several questions:
1) What was I thinking?
2) What was my teacher thinking while grading this?
3) How did I manage to get an A on this?
4) Did my printing really look like that?
5) Why would John decide to put this on?
6) After putting it on, why would he let anyone near him with a camera?
7) Did my mother see this before it was submitted? (probably not, our homework was ours - help was not available with the reasoning that we had all day to ask the teacher for help if we didn't understand what we were supposed to be working on).
I was (and still am) such a spaz!
I saw this and asked myself several questions:
1) What was I thinking?
2) What was my teacher thinking while grading this?
3) How did I manage to get an A on this?
4) Did my printing really look like that?
5) Why would John decide to put this on?
6) After putting it on, why would he let anyone near him with a camera?
7) Did my mother see this before it was submitted? (probably not, our homework was ours - help was not available with the reasoning that we had all day to ask the teacher for help if we didn't understand what we were supposed to be working on).
I was (and still am) such a spaz!
The worst visit with my sister that I've ever experienced
Where did my day go? I swear I just got up. I'll tell you where it went. NOWHERE, fast.
I called Wendy last night at my Mom's (she was staying there for the weekend) and made plans to go out there for a visit this morning. Maybe I'll do this point form because it's a lot easier to add things that I've missed.
- woke up
- opened my presents
- had a shower
- rounded up the kids and headed out to Mom's
- got to Mom's
- Mom and Dad were there, Wendy and Carson were not.
- 45 minutes later, they show up (Carson with a new hairdo)
- 30 minutes after that, Wendy leaves with Martin to get his hair cut
- 45 minutes later, they come back
- 20 minutes after that, Wendy left to go shopping
- Wendy came back and it was time for us to leave shortly thereafter
- went to the grocery store to pick up a few items that were needed for my birthday dinner
- got home and started to watch a movie with the boys
- Tom got back from the driving range
- Tom fired up the BBQ to cook the steaks and baked potatoes.
- Ran out of propane part way through
- Tom fired up the indoor grill
- We ate dinner.
- I lounged / dozed on the couch
- Saw the kids off to bed.
- Saw Tom off to bed
- went to the grocery store
- put the groceries away
- sat and typed this exciting post.
So, as you can see, I didn't have much of a visit with Wendy as she spent most of the time out and about. I'm not sure if she has a shopping problem, but whenever I see her, she is showing me what she bought - or is heading out to buy something.
For my birthday, Cole and Brett got me a couple nail files and a set of cuticle nippers to replace the ones that I never did find. Tom gave me a gift card for Michael's to use towards a Cricut along with two new shirts. My Mom and Dad gave me cash.
Jade called to wish me a happy birthday... she asked if I was at Grandma's and I said yes. She asked if Grandma sang to me and I said no. She said "well that's present enough isn't it?" I told her I was going to tell her Grandma what she said and Jade replied "please don't, because then she'll sing it three times to me on my birthday!"
So, I got off the phone with Jade and I told my Mom what she'd said. About 20 minutes later my cell phone rang again. Call display told me it was Jade, so I handed the phone to my Mom and said "do you want to answer it?" My Mom grabbed the phone and started singing Happy Birthday (Marilyn Monroe style). Too funny - well it might not seem that funny to you, but my Mom has the WORST singing voice (but that NEVER stops her)!
So anyway, here it is, the wee hours of the new work week and I am still awake, drinking a horrid coffee from Horton's and thinking that I should drag this butt to bed.
While at my Mom's, she showed me some old school work of mine that involved pictures I got from Wendy. Because they were Wendy's pictures, my Mom said she was giving it to her and not me. So I said I wanted to scan it before Wendy took it. So, I will scan it at work and will try to post it. I swear, I was horrified to think that I handed this thing in. I was in grade 8. I cannot imagine what my teacher thought. (I did get an A on it though). Not sure why??
Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda yadda.
Tomorrow. Morning. See you then!
I called Wendy last night at my Mom's (she was staying there for the weekend) and made plans to go out there for a visit this morning. Maybe I'll do this point form because it's a lot easier to add things that I've missed.
- woke up
- opened my presents
- had a shower
- rounded up the kids and headed out to Mom's
- got to Mom's
- Mom and Dad were there, Wendy and Carson were not.
- 45 minutes later, they show up (Carson with a new hairdo)
- 30 minutes after that, Wendy leaves with Martin to get his hair cut
- 45 minutes later, they come back
- 20 minutes after that, Wendy left to go shopping
- Wendy came back and it was time for us to leave shortly thereafter
- went to the grocery store to pick up a few items that were needed for my birthday dinner
- got home and started to watch a movie with the boys
- Tom got back from the driving range
- Tom fired up the BBQ to cook the steaks and baked potatoes.
- Ran out of propane part way through
- Tom fired up the indoor grill
- We ate dinner.
- I lounged / dozed on the couch
- Saw the kids off to bed.
- Saw Tom off to bed
- went to the grocery store
- put the groceries away
- sat and typed this exciting post.
So, as you can see, I didn't have much of a visit with Wendy as she spent most of the time out and about. I'm not sure if she has a shopping problem, but whenever I see her, she is showing me what she bought - or is heading out to buy something.
For my birthday, Cole and Brett got me a couple nail files and a set of cuticle nippers to replace the ones that I never did find. Tom gave me a gift card for Michael's to use towards a Cricut along with two new shirts. My Mom and Dad gave me cash.
Jade called to wish me a happy birthday... she asked if I was at Grandma's and I said yes. She asked if Grandma sang to me and I said no. She said "well that's present enough isn't it?" I told her I was going to tell her Grandma what she said and Jade replied "please don't, because then she'll sing it three times to me on my birthday!"
So, I got off the phone with Jade and I told my Mom what she'd said. About 20 minutes later my cell phone rang again. Call display told me it was Jade, so I handed the phone to my Mom and said "do you want to answer it?" My Mom grabbed the phone and started singing Happy Birthday (Marilyn Monroe style). Too funny - well it might not seem that funny to you, but my Mom has the WORST singing voice (but that NEVER stops her)!
So anyway, here it is, the wee hours of the new work week and I am still awake, drinking a horrid coffee from Horton's and thinking that I should drag this butt to bed.
While at my Mom's, she showed me some old school work of mine that involved pictures I got from Wendy. Because they were Wendy's pictures, my Mom said she was giving it to her and not me. So I said I wanted to scan it before Wendy took it. So, I will scan it at work and will try to post it. I swear, I was horrified to think that I handed this thing in. I was in grade 8. I cannot imagine what my teacher thought. (I did get an A on it though). Not sure why??
Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda yadda.
Tomorrow. Morning. See you then!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Life as a 38 year old
I am now 38. And here's what I've noticed in the first 53 minutes of being 38:
- Tim Horton's still screws up my coffee
- I still don't win on the roll up the rim cups
- I still hate wearing bras
- I still hate wearing underwear
- my feet have not grown
- I think my ass might have
- my toes are still hairy
- the litter box still stinks
- I am as tired now as I was an hour ago
- I still drive a Rendezvous (with a front end problem)
- I still don't have a Cricut
- I still suck at Spider Solitaire
- I remembered that I have a blog
- I remembered the password to get onto my blog
- I still have nothing to write about
- I still have the most boring blog on the web.
- You still keep coming back to read this crap.
Thank you for joining me on this exciting journey. Your participation is appreciated.
Now, without any further delay, let me introduce you to the end of my first post as a 38 year old.
- Tim Horton's still screws up my coffee
- I still don't win on the roll up the rim cups
- I still hate wearing bras
- I still hate wearing underwear
- my feet have not grown
- I think my ass might have
- my toes are still hairy
- the litter box still stinks
- I am as tired now as I was an hour ago
- I still drive a Rendezvous (with a front end problem)
- I still don't have a Cricut
- I still suck at Spider Solitaire
- I remembered that I have a blog
- I remembered the password to get onto my blog
- I still have nothing to write about
- I still have the most boring blog on the web.
- You still keep coming back to read this crap.
Thank you for joining me on this exciting journey. Your participation is appreciated.
Now, without any further delay, let me introduce you to the end of my first post as a 38 year old.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Another one of those posts... sorry.
I am writing as though there is more than one person reading this. I know it's unlikely, but it is the eve of my birthday and I have decided I can do whatever I want.
Two people won the 649 pool tonight. I was not one of them. I am so disappointed. That money would have paid for a Cricut and then some! Guess I'll have to continue saving up for one.
Went to my stalker's for a bikini waxing party on Friday night. It was a gathering of some awesome girls, some awesome food, awesome crantinis, awesome conversation and thankfully, no waxing! Didn't really matter - I had already shaved. The only thing on my body that has unwanted hair is my toes.
Deb (my stalker) had quite a set up. Her panini bar was an excellent idea and her dips and sauces were to die for! I brought a jalapeno popper dip that was posted at the big red kitchen and everyone said they liked it - I am a suck when it comes to spices and hot things so I wouldn't even try it. Ever wonder if people really like it - or if they're just being nice? I do. But I figure Deb wasn't lying. She just told me she ate the last of it for dinner. So if you like hot foods, go to the big red kitchen and copy this recipe.
Me and my hairy toes left her place a little before 3am. I am pooped.
Okay - this is pretty boring isn't it? I can't think of anything funny to post about. Really. I am drawing a blank. Perhaps it's because I am dead tired. Not stupid tired like in my Kermie post.
A postcard arrived in the mail the other day for Jade. It's from Guatemala. On the back is written
Dear Larry,
I searched everywhere for your pineapple, but all I found was your baby.
Bob.
Does this make sense to you? Me either. I'm pretty sure it's an inside joke or perhaps it's code? I know when I was younger, my friend Janet (aka CowPie or "CP") had codes for when we were talking on the phone. Like my Mom was stupid and couldn't figure out we were talking in code. If she walked in and out of the room six times, she would have heard me say "The sand is dry" ... six times. Duh. So I wasn't that sharp. Did you ever see the episode of Everyone Loves Raymond called "Ray's Journal?" Long and the short... he had a journal as a kid, and made up a secret code so his Mom wouldn't be able to understand what he'd written. Here's a little snip:
Deb: You had a code? What was the code?
Ray: It was nothing.
Deb: Oh, come on, say something to me in your code.
Ray: Yoka.
Deb: What?
Ray: I just answered you in my code. Yoka.
Deb: Okay, one more.
Ray: Yoka, ym ewif.
Deb: Okay, my wife? So you just took the last letter of the word and put it in front?
Ray: It was a very good code!
Deb: Oh, yeah, you're right. It's not at all "elam!"
I am grasping. I am so desperate, I am quoting tv shows.
I am going to get a coffee. My last coffee as a 37 year old. My birthday is less than an hour away. How sad.
Two people won the 649 pool tonight. I was not one of them. I am so disappointed. That money would have paid for a Cricut and then some! Guess I'll have to continue saving up for one.
Went to my stalker's for a bikini waxing party on Friday night. It was a gathering of some awesome girls, some awesome food, awesome crantinis, awesome conversation and thankfully, no waxing! Didn't really matter - I had already shaved. The only thing on my body that has unwanted hair is my toes.
Deb (my stalker) had quite a set up. Her panini bar was an excellent idea and her dips and sauces were to die for! I brought a jalapeno popper dip that was posted at the big red kitchen and everyone said they liked it - I am a suck when it comes to spices and hot things so I wouldn't even try it. Ever wonder if people really like it - or if they're just being nice? I do. But I figure Deb wasn't lying. She just told me she ate the last of it for dinner. So if you like hot foods, go to the big red kitchen and copy this recipe.
Me and my hairy toes left her place a little before 3am. I am pooped.
Okay - this is pretty boring isn't it? I can't think of anything funny to post about. Really. I am drawing a blank. Perhaps it's because I am dead tired. Not stupid tired like in my Kermie post.
A postcard arrived in the mail the other day for Jade. It's from Guatemala. On the back is written
Dear Larry,
I searched everywhere for your pineapple, but all I found was your baby.
Bob.
Does this make sense to you? Me either. I'm pretty sure it's an inside joke or perhaps it's code? I know when I was younger, my friend Janet (aka CowPie or "CP") had codes for when we were talking on the phone. Like my Mom was stupid and couldn't figure out we were talking in code. If she walked in and out of the room six times, she would have heard me say "The sand is dry" ... six times. Duh. So I wasn't that sharp. Did you ever see the episode of Everyone Loves Raymond called "Ray's Journal?" Long and the short... he had a journal as a kid, and made up a secret code so his Mom wouldn't be able to understand what he'd written. Here's a little snip:
Deb: You had a code? What was the code?
Ray: It was nothing.
Deb: Oh, come on, say something to me in your code.
Ray: Yoka.
Deb: What?
Ray: I just answered you in my code. Yoka.
Deb: Okay, one more.
Ray: Yoka, ym ewif.
Deb: Okay, my wife? So you just took the last letter of the word and put it in front?
Ray: It was a very good code!
Deb: Oh, yeah, you're right. It's not at all "elam!"
I am grasping. I am so desperate, I am quoting tv shows.
I am going to get a coffee. My last coffee as a 37 year old. My birthday is less than an hour away. How sad.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Grandma's Pineapple Squares
I know, I know... I said I was going to get some work done but then I went into the kitchen to grab a drink and I noticed my recipe box which reminded me that three weeks ago I told someone from my bowling team that I had a recipe he might like (seeing that he loves pineapple). Anyway, decided to post it here.
Grandma's Pineapple Squares
Step One:
2 c. graham cracker crumbs
½ c. melted butter
~ blend and press into 9"sq. baking dish
~ bake for 15 minutes at 300°F
~ cool completely
Step Two:
½ c. butter
1½ c. icing sugar (sifted)
2 beaten eggs
~ Blend for 10 minutes and then spread over crumbs
Step Three:
1 medium sized can of crushed pineapple (drained)
1 c. whipping cream - whipped and sweetened to taste
~ fold together and spread over the first two layers.
Step Four:
Chill for "hours and hours"
And there you have it. I do not get overly excited when it comes to pineapple, but I LOVE these!
* WAAYYY off topic... no one had their sixth number drawn so the pot is up to $1050.00 *
17, 17, 17, 17!!
Grandma's Pineapple Squares
Step One:
2 c. graham cracker crumbs
½ c. melted butter
~ blend and press into 9"sq. baking dish
~ bake for 15 minutes at 300°F
~ cool completely
Step Two:
½ c. butter
1½ c. icing sugar (sifted)
2 beaten eggs
~ Blend for 10 minutes and then spread over crumbs
Step Three:
1 medium sized can of crushed pineapple (drained)
1 c. whipping cream - whipped and sweetened to taste
~ fold together and spread over the first two layers.
Step Four:
Chill for "hours and hours"
And there you have it. I do not get overly excited when it comes to pineapple, but I LOVE these!
* WAAYYY off topic... no one had their sixth number drawn so the pot is up to $1050.00 *
17, 17, 17, 17!!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Hello my friend.
I have become a procrastinator. I worked on reports all day until my eyes were dry and sore. Because I have to meet a deadline, I brought my computer home with me to finish up the task at hand, yet here it is... 11pm on a Thursday night and the computer is still sitting on the floor in the corner, waiting to be hooked up.
My birthday is looming up before me, and just as every year since I purchased my first car, the Ministry of Transportation sends me their version of a birthday card - and as usual, it arrives six weeks early. Last year I had to have my driver's license renewed on top of the cost of the sticker. This year I need to have a drive clean test done. So, today I called the garage to make an appointment to get it done. The technician advised me he could do it next week. Now this would have been fine if I hadn't left it until three days before my birthday (which is a Sunday - which means I have to renew my stickers on Friday or I'll be in a fourteen hour line on Saturday). Ugh. I'm an idiot.
Condensed version - the tech said "Happy Birthday - I will squeeze you in tomorrow at 11:15 - but you have to be here at 11:15). This works out perfectly because I finish work at 11 on Fridays. AND, the garage is right next door to my stalker's place of business, so I can pop in and have a coffee with her while I wait. Hopefully they don't destroy the car while they're working on it. *It wouldn't be the first time it's happened to me*
My Villager. It was January a few years ago. I was driving home from work when all of a sudden I couldn't steer anymore. It was snowing heavily and I was driving through a foot of snow, so I just figured that something had been packed with snow. Yadda Yadda Yadda - brought it to the shop to have them check it out. Turned out the power steering belt had gone into self destruct mode. SO... I leave it with instructions not to do anything more than what was necessary as it was dying a slow, painful death and my intention was to just drive it into the ground without sinking a lot of money into it.
I am at work the next day and I get a phone call from the garage...
Tech - "I have good news, and I have bad news."
Moe - "alright - let me have it."
Tech - "The p/s belt has been replaced but in the process, we broke the bolt for the a/c belt and we don't have one in stock. I have it on order - it's only $6 and will take three minutes to fix."
Seeing that it was like -500°C outside, it was clearly unlikely that I would need to use my air conditioner, the tech said I could pick the car up and just pop in after work the next day and they would install it while I waited. So I picked up the van, paid the bill and went on my merry way.
The following day after work, I told Tom I would only be a few minutes late - they said I could wait and that they'd bring it in as soon as I got there. I head back over to Speedy Muffler to have this three minute, six dollar bolt installed (prepaid). I am sitting in the waiting room with this mega bitch who told me her life story - actually, was yelling her life story. She was a school teacher that had been laid off and was in the process of trying to get EI but was denied. She was RANTING about all the #$$#%$@# foreigners who come to this #%$#%$^# country and the $#&^%$#% government just hands these #$%#$% losers all the cash they might need, not to mention #$%$#%$ housing and blah blah blah. Every other word out of her mouth was fuck or fucking. No word of a lie. I was thinking she wasn't laid off - after hearing the way she spoke and her general demeanour, I was thinking she probably got canned for scaring the kids. ANYWAY - back to the story about ME.
I was standing at the window, watching them fix my van in an attempt to get this hag to stop bitching to me. I see them finish up and start to bring the hoist down. I turned to collect my things with the belief that I would be out of there in a matter of minutes. All of a sudden there was a loud SNAP, BANG, and SCRAAAAPE. I swung my head back around and watched in horror as the hoist that the van was one simply... well, it just fell apart. My van tipped and slid down the one post that had let go. It finally stopped - hanging precariously, a few feet up in the air.
I ran out to the shop and saw a mechanic - shaking like a leaf. And this is what was said:
Moe - "please tell me there was no one under there"
Tech - "we're okay"
Moe - "Thank God."
**before I continue, please note - I have a very bad habit of making a joke out of just about any situation. I just do not know how to react, what to feel or what to say. I am emotionally dull - I am more of a man than most men. Really.
Moe - "I think you might have misunderstood."
Tech - "I'm not sure I know what you mean"
Moe - "I said I was going to DRIVE it into the ground - not for you to drop it to the ground"
Tech - "This might sound really horrible, but I am soooo glad it was your car and not hers" (as he did a head nod in the hag's direction).
So, while he called head office and their insurance company, I walked over to the daycare to collect Brett. We walked home and I told Tom that I had to go back to the garage. He said "I thought is was only going to be a three minute job and they were going to do it right away?" I said "they did.. and then my van fell of the hoist."
He didn't believe me so threw on his boots and we headed back to the garage. As we were walking up the street he saw it and started laughing. It was in the bay closest to the big glass bay door at the front of the building. Tom continued to laugh at the sight AND at my luck with cars. (I have had three cars written off - and you know what? In every single case, there was never anyone in the car at the time... in fact, in every single case, the car wasn't even running). And yes, it was written off. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY NEVER REIMBURSED ME FOR THE POWER STEERING BELT OR THE BOLT. I asked, he said no. I said "come on... it's not even 24 hours old. I drove from Stoney Creek to Burlington, and then back." He wouldn't budge. They put me in a rental car for five weeks (that's how long it took the insurance company to clear everything). Think I got $2000 or $2500 for the van. Hey, it was an old jalopy that wasn't likely to survive the winter, so I guess I did alright! Always look for the silver lining.
Well, it's now 11:45 and I have some work to do.
Ciao my friend.
Oh, that reminds me (yes, I know - procrastinating again) I often grab a bite to eat at this little hole in the wall called Goody's. They guy always says to me "Hello my friend.. A diet coke and a 6" BLT on white, with mozzarella, tomato, lettuce and mayo for you today?" Then he always says "Goodbye my friend. See you in a day or so?" They guy is just so nice (he gives me LOTS of bacon at no extra charge).
I don't eat there that often - just once a week or so for the past few months. I guess he recognizes me and knows what I order. I am very predictable. But I can explain why. I hate trying new things for the fear of disappointment. Not only would it be a waste of money, I might wither away to nothing while waiting for my next meal. If I find something I truly enjoy, I stick with it. I may be a plain Jane, but it keeps me happy and full.
Why in the Hell can't the employees at Tim Horton's not remember my order? I go to the same one every morning - order 2 large double doubles - both with milk, a large decaf double double and a large decaf with one sweetener. I see the same employees every day - they even chat and joke with me, they know what I drive and a few other tidbits about my personal life - but do you think they could remember my order after going in there Monday through Friday for the past four years? And more often than not, they still put cream in my coffee instead of the milk that they punched into the system.
Okay - I have to get my ass in gear.
GOODBYE MY FRIEND... SEE YOU IN AN HOUR OR TWO?
My birthday is looming up before me, and just as every year since I purchased my first car, the Ministry of Transportation sends me their version of a birthday card - and as usual, it arrives six weeks early. Last year I had to have my driver's license renewed on top of the cost of the sticker. This year I need to have a drive clean test done. So, today I called the garage to make an appointment to get it done. The technician advised me he could do it next week. Now this would have been fine if I hadn't left it until three days before my birthday (which is a Sunday - which means I have to renew my stickers on Friday or I'll be in a fourteen hour line on Saturday). Ugh. I'm an idiot.
Condensed version - the tech said "Happy Birthday - I will squeeze you in tomorrow at 11:15 - but you have to be here at 11:15). This works out perfectly because I finish work at 11 on Fridays. AND, the garage is right next door to my stalker's place of business, so I can pop in and have a coffee with her while I wait. Hopefully they don't destroy the car while they're working on it. *It wouldn't be the first time it's happened to me*
My Villager. It was January a few years ago. I was driving home from work when all of a sudden I couldn't steer anymore. It was snowing heavily and I was driving through a foot of snow, so I just figured that something had been packed with snow. Yadda Yadda Yadda - brought it to the shop to have them check it out. Turned out the power steering belt had gone into self destruct mode. SO... I leave it with instructions not to do anything more than what was necessary as it was dying a slow, painful death and my intention was to just drive it into the ground without sinking a lot of money into it.
I am at work the next day and I get a phone call from the garage...
Tech - "I have good news, and I have bad news."
Moe - "alright - let me have it."
Tech - "The p/s belt has been replaced but in the process, we broke the bolt for the a/c belt and we don't have one in stock. I have it on order - it's only $6 and will take three minutes to fix."
Seeing that it was like -500°C outside, it was clearly unlikely that I would need to use my air conditioner, the tech said I could pick the car up and just pop in after work the next day and they would install it while I waited. So I picked up the van, paid the bill and went on my merry way.
The following day after work, I told Tom I would only be a few minutes late - they said I could wait and that they'd bring it in as soon as I got there. I head back over to Speedy Muffler to have this three minute, six dollar bolt installed (prepaid). I am sitting in the waiting room with this mega bitch who told me her life story - actually, was yelling her life story. She was a school teacher that had been laid off and was in the process of trying to get EI but was denied. She was RANTING about all the #$$#%$@# foreigners who come to this #%$#%$^# country and the $#&^%$#% government just hands these #$%#$% losers all the cash they might need, not to mention #$%$#%$ housing and blah blah blah. Every other word out of her mouth was fuck or fucking. No word of a lie. I was thinking she wasn't laid off - after hearing the way she spoke and her general demeanour, I was thinking she probably got canned for scaring the kids. ANYWAY - back to the story about ME.
I was standing at the window, watching them fix my van in an attempt to get this hag to stop bitching to me. I see them finish up and start to bring the hoist down. I turned to collect my things with the belief that I would be out of there in a matter of minutes. All of a sudden there was a loud SNAP, BANG, and SCRAAAAPE. I swung my head back around and watched in horror as the hoist that the van was one simply... well, it just fell apart. My van tipped and slid down the one post that had let go. It finally stopped - hanging precariously, a few feet up in the air.
I ran out to the shop and saw a mechanic - shaking like a leaf. And this is what was said:
Moe - "please tell me there was no one under there"
Tech - "we're okay"
Moe - "Thank God."
**before I continue, please note - I have a very bad habit of making a joke out of just about any situation. I just do not know how to react, what to feel or what to say. I am emotionally dull - I am more of a man than most men. Really.
Moe - "I think you might have misunderstood."
Tech - "I'm not sure I know what you mean"
Moe - "I said I was going to DRIVE it into the ground - not for you to drop it to the ground"
Tech - "This might sound really horrible, but I am soooo glad it was your car and not hers" (as he did a head nod in the hag's direction).
So, while he called head office and their insurance company, I walked over to the daycare to collect Brett. We walked home and I told Tom that I had to go back to the garage. He said "I thought is was only going to be a three minute job and they were going to do it right away?" I said "they did.. and then my van fell of the hoist."
He didn't believe me so threw on his boots and we headed back to the garage. As we were walking up the street he saw it and started laughing. It was in the bay closest to the big glass bay door at the front of the building. Tom continued to laugh at the sight AND at my luck with cars. (I have had three cars written off - and you know what? In every single case, there was never anyone in the car at the time... in fact, in every single case, the car wasn't even running). And yes, it was written off. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY NEVER REIMBURSED ME FOR THE POWER STEERING BELT OR THE BOLT. I asked, he said no. I said "come on... it's not even 24 hours old. I drove from Stoney Creek to Burlington, and then back." He wouldn't budge. They put me in a rental car for five weeks (that's how long it took the insurance company to clear everything). Think I got $2000 or $2500 for the van. Hey, it was an old jalopy that wasn't likely to survive the winter, so I guess I did alright! Always look for the silver lining.
Well, it's now 11:45 and I have some work to do.
Ciao my friend.
Oh, that reminds me (yes, I know - procrastinating again) I often grab a bite to eat at this little hole in the wall called Goody's. They guy always says to me "Hello my friend.. A diet coke and a 6" BLT on white, with mozzarella, tomato, lettuce and mayo for you today?" Then he always says "Goodbye my friend. See you in a day or so?" They guy is just so nice (he gives me LOTS of bacon at no extra charge).
I don't eat there that often - just once a week or so for the past few months. I guess he recognizes me and knows what I order. I am very predictable. But I can explain why. I hate trying new things for the fear of disappointment. Not only would it be a waste of money, I might wither away to nothing while waiting for my next meal. If I find something I truly enjoy, I stick with it. I may be a plain Jane, but it keeps me happy and full.
Why in the Hell can't the employees at Tim Horton's not remember my order? I go to the same one every morning - order 2 large double doubles - both with milk, a large decaf double double and a large decaf with one sweetener. I see the same employees every day - they even chat and joke with me, they know what I drive and a few other tidbits about my personal life - but do you think they could remember my order after going in there Monday through Friday for the past four years? And more often than not, they still put cream in my coffee instead of the milk that they punched into the system.
Okay - I have to get my ass in gear.
GOODBYE MY FRIEND... SEE YOU IN AN HOUR OR TWO?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
THINK "17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17"
My job is getting in the way of my blogging. Finally taking a break. I took a pee break a few hours ago and sat in someone's piss.
I lost it! I went out to the shop and went nuclear on the guys. Gross pigs. One of the guys wiped it off, and I have to go pee again, but I don't feel like scrubbing the toilet first. There is a HUGE difference between dry and clean & dry. So, I'll have to hold it in until I get home (only to sit in my kids' urine). I would rather they leave the seat up than not lift it at all.
The muscles in my right leg are going to be all nice and toned from doing the "jiggle your leg when you really need to pee" dance.
I am hungry. I strayed from the routine I described in an earlier post (yet again). We were supposed to have corned beef for dinner on Monday - but didn't realize it took that long to cook, so we ordered pizza. Yesterday we were supposed to have roast beef but I forgot to put it in the crockpot and I can't rely on a 13 year old boy to know how to prep a roast and get it into the oven, so I decided we'd have tacos. Well, even that backfired. Tom went out golfing, Cole went to Hutch's with Jordan and Brett was quite content with eating Pogo's, so I didn't make dinner two nights in a row. I did cook the corned beef though - Tom ate some when he got home. I threw the roast into the freezer and pulled out the chicken breasts for tonight.
I am in a 649 pool that sugarboogar has set up with his co-workers. You simply pick out six numbers. The first person to have all of their numbers drawn, wins. Every Friday (until someone has all their numbers picked) you throw five dollars into the pool. It started on February 21st. The first draw - four of my numbers were picked. Then it came to a screaming halt. Finally got another number this past Saturday, so now I'm waiting on one number (along with many other players). There are 42 people (well less, some people paid for 2-3 lines), We have all put in a total of $20 so far - therefore, the pot is up to $840.00.
THINK 17 FOR ME!!
My God I have to pee. I'm past the point of being able to clean the toilet now because as soon as I hear water by bladder is just going to let loose.
17
17
17
Work day is almost done. Sorry about the boring post. Well, I'm really not sorry. It's not my fault you read this to the end.
Loser! I'm outta here for now.
I lost it! I went out to the shop and went nuclear on the guys. Gross pigs. One of the guys wiped it off, and I have to go pee again, but I don't feel like scrubbing the toilet first. There is a HUGE difference between dry and clean & dry. So, I'll have to hold it in until I get home (only to sit in my kids' urine). I would rather they leave the seat up than not lift it at all.
The muscles in my right leg are going to be all nice and toned from doing the "jiggle your leg when you really need to pee" dance.
I am hungry. I strayed from the routine I described in an earlier post (yet again). We were supposed to have corned beef for dinner on Monday - but didn't realize it took that long to cook, so we ordered pizza. Yesterday we were supposed to have roast beef but I forgot to put it in the crockpot and I can't rely on a 13 year old boy to know how to prep a roast and get it into the oven, so I decided we'd have tacos. Well, even that backfired. Tom went out golfing, Cole went to Hutch's with Jordan and Brett was quite content with eating Pogo's, so I didn't make dinner two nights in a row. I did cook the corned beef though - Tom ate some when he got home. I threw the roast into the freezer and pulled out the chicken breasts for tonight.
I am in a 649 pool that sugarboogar has set up with his co-workers. You simply pick out six numbers. The first person to have all of their numbers drawn, wins. Every Friday (until someone has all their numbers picked) you throw five dollars into the pool. It started on February 21st. The first draw - four of my numbers were picked. Then it came to a screaming halt. Finally got another number this past Saturday, so now I'm waiting on one number (along with many other players). There are 42 people (well less, some people paid for 2-3 lines), We have all put in a total of $20 so far - therefore, the pot is up to $840.00.
THINK 17 FOR ME!!
My God I have to pee. I'm past the point of being able to clean the toilet now because as soon as I hear water by bladder is just going to let loose.
17
17
17
Work day is almost done. Sorry about the boring post. Well, I'm really not sorry. It's not my fault you read this to the end.
Loser! I'm outta here for now.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
20 things my stalker doesn't know about me:
I was given two missions. Well, it was a suggestion Deb made while I was whining to her about how sofa king bored I am. The first mission is this: Create a list of twenty things that she doesn't know about me. This is going to be a challenge because whenever I'm near her, I come down with a case of verbal diarrhea. The second mission is to create my own bucket list.
List One:
1) My sphincter is better now. I no longer need Popsicle sticks to scrape the dangling poop that I couldn't pinch off. You didn't actually KNOW this - you just assumed. Does this count? lol - God childbirth is a wonderful experience.
OK - seriously now... List one:
1) The most I have ever weighed was 198 lbs. (with child number one - gained 68 pounds)
2) I have never broken a bone in my body... or had stitches outside child birth.
3) I used to push my nearest and dearest childhood friend through bushes on the way home from school almost every day because I thought it was funny.
4) I once got accused of plagiarism in school after handing in a report I did on Oscar Wilde. I had to explain that I missed the class where we learned about footnotes (which was the honest to God truth and reason). Hey - when the teacher asked me, I pointed out all the tidbits that should have been flagged and footnoted... he gave me a warning and a fail on the report (asshole)
5) I failed swimming lessons when I was 8
6) I have only ever had one fight with Wendy (and she didn't know I was mad at her)
7) I am envious of your kitchen, and your bathroom (even though they're a little too small)
8) I wish that Tom was a little more handy. Well, maybe not more handy - just more detail oriented when undertaking household projects.
9) I have never told Tom about number 8
10) I hate talking to people I don't know. I can joke around, but I hate having a conversation with them. I always feel inadequate or that I'm being judged - or even worse; psychoanalyzed.
11) Once while in marriage counselling, I completely tuned everyone out and got caught. Marty asked for my opinion and I had to admit that I wasn't listening to a word he'd been saying. Honestly, I couldn't give a flying fuck. It was all a waste of time - waste of money - waste of energy. I had already decided it was not the life for me. Three strikes, you're out.
12) I wish I had the money to fix my smile.
13) I am scared that if you and Tom stopped talking to me, I would become a hermit. You're the only two people I care to talk to.
14) Was incredibly upset when you sided with psycho and I didn't have you to lean on when I needed you most.
15) Often worry about a having nervous breakdown - I have been hiding feelings for so long that I'm afraid one day it's all just going to fall apart.
16) After bitching about bad parenting being the cause of all the shithead kids running around, I often worry that my kids will become hoodlums. What would that say about my parenting skills?
17) I miss camping with my cousins, aunts and uncles.
18) The only reason I don't drink is because it makes me vomit. AND, it's not the vomiting part that stops me.... It's that fact that I can't puke without peeing. It's like Brett not being able to puke without it coming out his nose.
19) I have not hugged or kissed my Mom or Dad since I was about 7. Well, I did kiss my Dad at my wedding, but outside that, never.
20) If I could afford to live in BC, I probably would.
That was REALLY hard. But I don't think you knew most of this - maybe one or two that don't qualify, but the rest are valid....
List One:
1) My sphincter is better now. I no longer need Popsicle sticks to scrape the dangling poop that I couldn't pinch off. You didn't actually KNOW this - you just assumed. Does this count? lol - God childbirth is a wonderful experience.
OK - seriously now... List one:
1) The most I have ever weighed was 198 lbs. (with child number one - gained 68 pounds)
2) I have never broken a bone in my body... or had stitches outside child birth.
3) I used to push my nearest and dearest childhood friend through bushes on the way home from school almost every day because I thought it was funny.
4) I once got accused of plagiarism in school after handing in a report I did on Oscar Wilde. I had to explain that I missed the class where we learned about footnotes (which was the honest to God truth and reason). Hey - when the teacher asked me, I pointed out all the tidbits that should have been flagged and footnoted... he gave me a warning and a fail on the report (asshole)
5) I failed swimming lessons when I was 8
6) I have only ever had one fight with Wendy (and she didn't know I was mad at her)
7) I am envious of your kitchen, and your bathroom (even though they're a little too small)
8) I wish that Tom was a little more handy. Well, maybe not more handy - just more detail oriented when undertaking household projects.
9) I have never told Tom about number 8
10) I hate talking to people I don't know. I can joke around, but I hate having a conversation with them. I always feel inadequate or that I'm being judged - or even worse; psychoanalyzed.
11) Once while in marriage counselling, I completely tuned everyone out and got caught. Marty asked for my opinion and I had to admit that I wasn't listening to a word he'd been saying. Honestly, I couldn't give a flying fuck. It was all a waste of time - waste of money - waste of energy. I had already decided it was not the life for me. Three strikes, you're out.
12) I wish I had the money to fix my smile.
13) I am scared that if you and Tom stopped talking to me, I would become a hermit. You're the only two people I care to talk to.
14) Was incredibly upset when you sided with psycho and I didn't have you to lean on when I needed you most.
15) Often worry about a having nervous breakdown - I have been hiding feelings for so long that I'm afraid one day it's all just going to fall apart.
16) After bitching about bad parenting being the cause of all the shithead kids running around, I often worry that my kids will become hoodlums. What would that say about my parenting skills?
17) I miss camping with my cousins, aunts and uncles.
18) The only reason I don't drink is because it makes me vomit. AND, it's not the vomiting part that stops me.... It's that fact that I can't puke without peeing. It's like Brett not being able to puke without it coming out his nose.
19) I have not hugged or kissed my Mom or Dad since I was about 7. Well, I did kiss my Dad at my wedding, but outside that, never.
20) If I could afford to live in BC, I probably would.
That was REALLY hard. But I don't think you knew most of this - maybe one or two that don't qualify, but the rest are valid....
... so that
I could say that this is my FIFTIETH post!
At the time of this fiftieth post, I am:
Canadian
awake (although tired)
divorced
broke
vertical (well, semi-vertical)
sofa king bored.
not kidding.
back from the bank
back from Horton's
eating a muffin (don't be gross - get your chin back up on the curb)
drinking a coffee
sharing my wondrous thoughts with you
being lied to by my boss
getting pissed off because I KNOW I'm being lied to
being lied to again
now super pissed off because he seems to think I'm buying his lies
wondering why I don't call his bluff.
taking a sip of my coffee (which they fucked up again)
feeling a mood shift.
wishing I was a SAHM again - would do it without the kids if I had the chance to do it again
kidding.
remembering how much fun I had watching the rugrats evolve into the Hellions they are now
kidding.
thinking I lucked out with my kids
acknowledging that they all have a really good sense of humor which makes it that much easier
wishing I was anywhere but here - well, maybe not "anywhere" .. I wouldn't want to be at the dump or in a sewer or anything like that...
going to end this for a while. I have to go measure the space between my truck and Randy's. I was advised that I have taken up 5'-2" (he said he took a measuring tape and measured it). That was the first lie. Second lie was that the bank wouldn't cash a cheque I gave him for $6500 because they don't keep that much cash on hand. WTF? Do I look stupid?
I have to go. I am too stupid to continue this.
Fuck he pisses me off sometimes.
AHHH - AN IDEA! Perfect setting for a perfect day. Seeing my boss test driving a brand new vehicle down Lakeshore near Spencer Smith. I would have to give in to my urges. If this makes no sense to you, you will have to read this post.
At the time of this fiftieth post, I am:
Canadian
awake (although tired)
divorced
broke
vertical (well, semi-vertical)
sofa king bored.
not kidding.
back from the bank
back from Horton's
eating a muffin (don't be gross - get your chin back up on the curb)
drinking a coffee
sharing my wondrous thoughts with you
being lied to by my boss
getting pissed off because I KNOW I'm being lied to
being lied to again
now super pissed off because he seems to think I'm buying his lies
wondering why I don't call his bluff.
taking a sip of my coffee (which they fucked up again)
feeling a mood shift.
wishing I was a SAHM again - would do it without the kids if I had the chance to do it again
kidding.
remembering how much fun I had watching the rugrats evolve into the Hellions they are now
kidding.
thinking I lucked out with my kids
acknowledging that they all have a really good sense of humor which makes it that much easier
wishing I was anywhere but here - well, maybe not "anywhere" .. I wouldn't want to be at the dump or in a sewer or anything like that...
going to end this for a while. I have to go measure the space between my truck and Randy's. I was advised that I have taken up 5'-2" (he said he took a measuring tape and measured it). That was the first lie. Second lie was that the bank wouldn't cash a cheque I gave him for $6500 because they don't keep that much cash on hand. WTF? Do I look stupid?
I have to go. I am too stupid to continue this.
Fuck he pisses me off sometimes.
AHHH - AN IDEA! Perfect setting for a perfect day. Seeing my boss test driving a brand new vehicle down Lakeshore near Spencer Smith. I would have to give in to my urges. If this makes no sense to you, you will have to read this post.
{ } [ ] ← WHAT ARE THESE FOR?
I need to find the grammar maven. I need to know what these [ ] brackets are for. I never really thought about it until posting a comment on a comment that my stalker left me. (I have decided to write as though you're not the only one reading this).
Change of plans. I know I had something else in mind when I started this entry but this is more important (at the moment). I am going to create a list of things that have make me go "hmmm?"
1) [ ] ← what purpose do these serve?
2) { } ← what purpose do these serve? (I am assuming mathematical equations)
3) What does SS stand for in the SS Minnow? I actually looked it up. It's either steam ship or sailing ship.
4) What is the difference between a koi and a regular old goldfish?
5) Who designed the new section of Lakeshore at Spencer Smith Park? I would love to give them a swift cuff in the head. Since it was changed, I have yet to drive down this stretch of road without getting pissed off.
6) Am I the only one who is tempted to ram into people who are test driving new cars? - I am worried that one day I might see a yellow licence plate flapping from the trunk of a shiny new car and succumb to these urges.
7) Why are hockey tickets so expensive in Toronto? Why is it, people are willing to blow an easy $800 to see the Leafs lose? (they SUCK)
8) Why doesn't rain just come down in one lump?
9) What WOULD happen to Lake Ontario if giant vats of oxy clean were dumped into it? In my dream it was the key to making it crystal clear.
10) Why are you still reading this?
I started typing this earlier this morning but now that it's been a while (I actually had to do some work), I realize that the answers to these questions don't seem so important now.
So, my mind has wandered off again... where it's heading, I have yet to know. I will just keep typing random things until an idea pops into mind. I'm sure it will be a memorable reading experience for you. But hey, I'm assuming you've read just about every stupid thing I've posted, yet you still keep coming back. I figure that this is for one of two things. 1) You are super bored. 2) You are a loser who loves me no matter what I might admit to on this here blog.
I went to Hortons this morning. They fucked up my coffees again. So, I started out with lots of time to spare, but I had to go back to get them fixed. Luckily I realized the error before I got on the highway.
You're still here?
I forgot to put the roast in the crockpot this morning. I will not have the two hours needed to simmer the stupid corned beef we were supposed to have for dinner yesterday. So, I will defrost the ground beef I pre-cooked and will make tacos. At least the kids will enjoy dinner. Tom is going to the driving range after work. (seems that the golf season is slowly but surely making its way back).
You still here?
Sucker. If I sat here and typed for three hours non stop, would you sit and read it through to the end? Bet you would. No matter how boring it is. I am bored to the core. Or "sofa king bored" which is how I have decided to start referring to it as. Did that make sense?
Dun dun dun. Oh the suspense... I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat again. Dying to know what I'm going to write about next....
All that wait for nothing. I'm going to go for a bit. Who am I kidding? I'll probably be back in an hour to write a whole lot about a whole lot of nothing. [(and you'll be back to read it) (is this how the brackets are supposed to work?)] Probably not, but who's going to know (other than you) that I've misused them?
Change of plans. I know I had something else in mind when I started this entry but this is more important (at the moment). I am going to create a list of things that have make me go "hmmm?"
1) [ ] ← what purpose do these serve?
2) { } ← what purpose do these serve? (I am assuming mathematical equations)
3) What does SS stand for in the SS Minnow? I actually looked it up. It's either steam ship or sailing ship.
4) What is the difference between a koi and a regular old goldfish?
5) Who designed the new section of Lakeshore at Spencer Smith Park? I would love to give them a swift cuff in the head. Since it was changed, I have yet to drive down this stretch of road without getting pissed off.
6) Am I the only one who is tempted to ram into people who are test driving new cars? - I am worried that one day I might see a yellow licence plate flapping from the trunk of a shiny new car and succumb to these urges.
7) Why are hockey tickets so expensive in Toronto? Why is it, people are willing to blow an easy $800 to see the Leafs lose? (they SUCK)
8) Why doesn't rain just come down in one lump?
9) What WOULD happen to Lake Ontario if giant vats of oxy clean were dumped into it? In my dream it was the key to making it crystal clear.
10) Why are you still reading this?
I started typing this earlier this morning but now that it's been a while (I actually had to do some work), I realize that the answers to these questions don't seem so important now.
So, my mind has wandered off again... where it's heading, I have yet to know. I will just keep typing random things until an idea pops into mind. I'm sure it will be a memorable reading experience for you. But hey, I'm assuming you've read just about every stupid thing I've posted, yet you still keep coming back. I figure that this is for one of two things. 1) You are super bored. 2) You are a loser who loves me no matter what I might admit to on this here blog.
I went to Hortons this morning. They fucked up my coffees again. So, I started out with lots of time to spare, but I had to go back to get them fixed. Luckily I realized the error before I got on the highway.
You're still here?
I forgot to put the roast in the crockpot this morning. I will not have the two hours needed to simmer the stupid corned beef we were supposed to have for dinner yesterday. So, I will defrost the ground beef I pre-cooked and will make tacos. At least the kids will enjoy dinner. Tom is going to the driving range after work. (seems that the golf season is slowly but surely making its way back).
You still here?
Sucker. If I sat here and typed for three hours non stop, would you sit and read it through to the end? Bet you would. No matter how boring it is. I am bored to the core. Or "sofa king bored" which is how I have decided to start referring to it as. Did that make sense?
Dun dun dun. Oh the suspense... I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat again. Dying to know what I'm going to write about next....
All that wait for nothing. I'm going to go for a bit. Who am I kidding? I'll probably be back in an hour to write a whole lot about a whole lot of nothing. [(and you'll be back to read it) (is this how the brackets are supposed to work?)] Probably not, but who's going to know (other than you) that I've misused them?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Exciting news - read while sitting.
Okay, so I lie every now and then. Feel free to stand up.
Holy cow. I had to stray from my routine this evening.
Got home from work shortly after five.
Noted the house wasn't as bad as I had anticipated it would be.
went into the kitchen and pulled out the corned beef I was going to cook for dinner.
Noted that it would have to simmer for TWO HOURS.
Ordered pizza - picked it up fifteen minutes later
ate dinner
spent the rest of my evening walking on eggshells because sugarbooger was in a horrid mood.
I told Brett he could stay up a half hour late (it is March break).
At 8:30 - Tom told Brett it was time for bed.
Brett advised Tom that I said he could stay up until 9.
Tom went to bed in a huff at 8:30??
Not sure what's got him in a tizzy, but man, was he GRUMPY!
I dropped Jade off in Niagara
Stopped to get gas on the way home. Price is back up to .83 / litre
Got home to a quiet house and am now typing this exciting update.
I wuz thinking how hard it wuld bee too rite wurds like they sownd. Not as eezee as it seems. Whut mayd mee think of this yew wunder? No clew. Try it if yew dair.
Forget that - I type slow enough when I'm not thinking of how to misspell words. But that doesn't help me with the writing of a post. Let me see... how can we jazz this up a little? I coulsd not correct andy of my spelling errorsa nd make this a post which witll tequire soem dechipering. How does that sound? I'd say it woudl be an "unscramble this mess" post, but I fear my fingers don't always hit the keys that wtheyr'es supposed to. Honest;ly, the keyborad is reallya giant smash pad for me.
Or - how about this?
uagaeoewGFKB;ZNSAJfpeglfkj8e;wa (this is what it looks like when you bang your forehead on the keyboard).
I have to paint. I was thinking about painting a big target (dart board sized) on the wall with a note above it that will read "BANG HEAD HERE." I haven't decided where I would put it though. I was thinking that if I put in the front hallway, anyone that comes over can make use of it. They will need it after a visit with me.
I am questioning why you are reading this. I would have given up on it ages ago. Why would you continue reading after someone admits to smashing their head on the keyboard?
Alright enough of that... And now for something completely different (Monty Python reference).
Ho hum. Up for another one of my famous stories? How bout it? Well, if you don't want to read it, you know how to exit my blog.... okay, here it goes. It's going to be a good one, I can feel the creativity flowing through my veins.
Hi Ho there - Kermit the Frog here from Sesame Street News. Well, let's be quiet because we are with the great composer Simon Says. Now we will sneak up and try to get an interview with him.
"Mary had a little red corvette, a little red corvette, a little red corvette, Mary had a little red corvette it's chrome as shiny as..... as.... as... OH DARN DARN DARN! I CAN'T DO IT, I JUST CAN'T!" (bangs his head on the piano).
Kermit the frog steps in. "Excuse me Simon Says, but what seems to be the problem?"
"The problem is you %$#W&%*& gum dish, I can't think of a word that rhymes with corvette, I'm out of drugs AND I think you're a stupid nosy piece of green slime! Now get the $#*&% out of here before I nail ya!"
"My my, aren't we irritable today? Tradition has it that I help you think of a rhyming word (that, by the way, never fails) and then you sing the song and it works and everyone is happy."
"Well then gum dish... what's this amazing word you've thought up?"
"It's morbid."
"MORBID!!?? THAT SUCKS! GET THE #$^% OUTTA HERE!"
(and the strung out composer chases poor Kermie out).
This concludes the broadcast. See you next time on Sesame Street. La la la la la la.
What did you think? Did you enjoy my story? Think I should make a career of it? I could be famous. The next JK Rowling. You could tell everyone you meet that you're my bff. People would want to hang out with you - just so they might get the opportunity to meet the author of such wonderful books. Yes, that's right, books (plural). My story will be so adored that there will be sequels. People will want to know how poor Kermie recovered from the traumatic verbal lashing inflicted upon him by the nasty and villainous composer, Simon Says.
I am unique you know - just like everyone else.
I think I need some sleep. Coping with silly thoughts (as you might have noticed). It will only get worse if the night progresses. So I bid you farewell. I shall chat with you tomorrow during my 8 hours of clock watching (broken up by the odd phone call, fax or what have you). Hope you are sleeping the sleep of a baby. Why this saying exists is beyond me. If I recall, babies wake up every two or three hours. So, really, I hope you are sleeping the sleep of a ... a.... rock.
~ ta ta~
Holy cow. I had to stray from my routine this evening.
Got home from work shortly after five.
Noted the house wasn't as bad as I had anticipated it would be.
went into the kitchen and pulled out the corned beef I was going to cook for dinner.
Noted that it would have to simmer for TWO HOURS.
Ordered pizza - picked it up fifteen minutes later
ate dinner
spent the rest of my evening walking on eggshells because sugarbooger was in a horrid mood.
I told Brett he could stay up a half hour late (it is March break).
At 8:30 - Tom told Brett it was time for bed.
Brett advised Tom that I said he could stay up until 9.
Tom went to bed in a huff at 8:30??
Not sure what's got him in a tizzy, but man, was he GRUMPY!
I dropped Jade off in Niagara
Stopped to get gas on the way home. Price is back up to .83 / litre
Got home to a quiet house and am now typing this exciting update.
I wuz thinking how hard it wuld bee too rite wurds like they sownd. Not as eezee as it seems. Whut mayd mee think of this yew wunder? No clew. Try it if yew dair.
Forget that - I type slow enough when I'm not thinking of how to misspell words. But that doesn't help me with the writing of a post. Let me see... how can we jazz this up a little? I coulsd not correct andy of my spelling errorsa nd make this a post which witll tequire soem dechipering. How does that sound? I'd say it woudl be an "unscramble this mess" post, but I fear my fingers don't always hit the keys that wtheyr'es supposed to. Honest;ly, the keyborad is reallya giant smash pad for me.
Or - how about this?
uagaeoewGFKB;ZNSAJfpeglfkj8e;wa (this is what it looks like when you bang your forehead on the keyboard).
I have to paint. I was thinking about painting a big target (dart board sized) on the wall with a note above it that will read "BANG HEAD HERE." I haven't decided where I would put it though. I was thinking that if I put in the front hallway, anyone that comes over can make use of it. They will need it after a visit with me.
I am questioning why you are reading this. I would have given up on it ages ago. Why would you continue reading after someone admits to smashing their head on the keyboard?
Alright enough of that... And now for something completely different (Monty Python reference).
Ho hum. Up for another one of my famous stories? How bout it? Well, if you don't want to read it, you know how to exit my blog.... okay, here it goes. It's going to be a good one, I can feel the creativity flowing through my veins.
Hi Ho there - Kermit the Frog here from Sesame Street News. Well, let's be quiet because we are with the great composer Simon Says. Now we will sneak up and try to get an interview with him.
"Mary had a little red corvette, a little red corvette, a little red corvette, Mary had a little red corvette it's chrome as shiny as..... as.... as... OH DARN DARN DARN! I CAN'T DO IT, I JUST CAN'T!" (bangs his head on the piano).
Kermit the frog steps in. "Excuse me Simon Says, but what seems to be the problem?"
"The problem is you %$#W&%*& gum dish, I can't think of a word that rhymes with corvette, I'm out of drugs AND I think you're a stupid nosy piece of green slime! Now get the $#*&% out of here before I nail ya!"
"My my, aren't we irritable today? Tradition has it that I help you think of a rhyming word (that, by the way, never fails) and then you sing the song and it works and everyone is happy."
"Well then gum dish... what's this amazing word you've thought up?"
"It's morbid."
"MORBID!!?? THAT SUCKS! GET THE #$^% OUTTA HERE!"
(and the strung out composer chases poor Kermie out).
This concludes the broadcast. See you next time on Sesame Street. La la la la la la.
What did you think? Did you enjoy my story? Think I should make a career of it? I could be famous. The next JK Rowling. You could tell everyone you meet that you're my bff. People would want to hang out with you - just so they might get the opportunity to meet the author of such wonderful books. Yes, that's right, books (plural). My story will be so adored that there will be sequels. People will want to know how poor Kermie recovered from the traumatic verbal lashing inflicted upon him by the nasty and villainous composer, Simon Says.
I am unique you know - just like everyone else.
I think I need some sleep. Coping with silly thoughts (as you might have noticed). It will only get worse if the night progresses. So I bid you farewell. I shall chat with you tomorrow during my 8 hours of clock watching (broken up by the odd phone call, fax or what have you). Hope you are sleeping the sleep of a baby. Why this saying exists is beyond me. If I recall, babies wake up every two or three hours. So, really, I hope you are sleeping the sleep of a ... a.... rock.
~ ta ta~
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