I was given two missions. Well, it was a suggestion Deb made while I was whining to her about how sofa king bored I am. The first mission is this: Create a list of twenty things that she doesn't know about me. This is going to be a challenge because whenever I'm near her, I come down with a case of verbal diarrhea. The second mission is to create my own bucket list.
List One:
1) My sphincter is better now. I no longer need Popsicle sticks to scrape the dangling poop that I couldn't pinch off. You didn't actually KNOW this - you just assumed. Does this count? lol - God childbirth is a wonderful experience.
OK - seriously now... List one:
1) The most I have ever weighed was 198 lbs. (with child number one - gained 68 pounds)
2) I have never broken a bone in my body... or had stitches outside child birth.
3) I used to push my nearest and dearest childhood friend through bushes on the way home from school almost every day because I thought it was funny.
4) I once got accused of plagiarism in school after handing in a report I did on Oscar Wilde. I had to explain that I missed the class where we learned about footnotes (which was the honest to God truth and reason). Hey - when the teacher asked me, I pointed out all the tidbits that should have been flagged and footnoted... he gave me a warning and a fail on the report (asshole)
5) I failed swimming lessons when I was 8
6) I have only ever had one fight with Wendy (and she didn't know I was mad at her)
7) I am envious of your kitchen, and your bathroom (even though they're a little too small)
8) I wish that Tom was a little more handy. Well, maybe not more handy - just more detail oriented when undertaking household projects.
9) I have never told Tom about number 8
10) I hate talking to people I don't know. I can joke around, but I hate having a conversation with them. I always feel inadequate or that I'm being judged - or even worse; psychoanalyzed.
11) Once while in marriage counselling, I completely tuned everyone out and got caught. Marty asked for my opinion and I had to admit that I wasn't listening to a word he'd been saying. Honestly, I couldn't give a flying fuck. It was all a waste of time - waste of money - waste of energy. I had already decided it was not the life for me. Three strikes, you're out.
12) I wish I had the money to fix my smile.
13) I am scared that if you and Tom stopped talking to me, I would become a hermit. You're the only two people I care to talk to.
14) Was incredibly upset when you sided with psycho and I didn't have you to lean on when I needed you most.
15) Often worry about a having nervous breakdown - I have been hiding feelings for so long that I'm afraid one day it's all just going to fall apart.
16) After bitching about bad parenting being the cause of all the shithead kids running around, I often worry that my kids will become hoodlums. What would that say about my parenting skills?
17) I miss camping with my cousins, aunts and uncles.
18) The only reason I don't drink is because it makes me vomit. AND, it's not the vomiting part that stops me.... It's that fact that I can't puke without peeing. It's like Brett not being able to puke without it coming out his nose.
19) I have not hugged or kissed my Mom or Dad since I was about 7. Well, I did kiss my Dad at my wedding, but outside that, never.
20) If I could afford to live in BC, I probably would.
That was REALLY hard. But I don't think you knew most of this - maybe one or two that don't qualify, but the rest are valid....
No comments:
Post a Comment