What? Two entries in one day?

Yes my dear stalker. Two entries. Count them.. 2.

It is 3:30 as I start this. Should be a short one as I have to get my bank deposit together and finish up some odds and sods that are coming in at this very moment. Well, that should take me about 5 minutes which means I have a mere 55 minutes to sit here (unless something happens in the meantime).

Aren't you excited? Funny how it takes me five times longer to type something than it does for you to read. It's like making dinner. I can spend 30-45 minutes getting dinner together and on the table, and it's done in five minutes. Christmas too. Hours and hours of shopping and wrapping gifts. They're all opened in less than a half hour.

Time check - 3:34. Four minutes to type this ↑ crap.

Time check - 3:36 - had to pull open my character map to get the arrow I used ↑ up there.

Time check - 3:43 - You-know-who just called again.

So, it has been 13 minutes since I started this. (and I bet you're glad that I did start this). (Bet you're even more glad to be sitting there reading this - LOSER!)

45 minutes left - 40 minutes to type. I bet I would get a lot more written if I didn't have to make so many corrections as I went along. There - I had to make 7 corrections in three words.

Why are you still reading this? Are you that bored? Honestly. I thought I was pathetic!

This is turning into a post full of insults isn't it?

Time check - 3:47

Typing in real time. lol - I could just sit here and type nothing but the minutes as they pass, but I'm trying to give you little bursts of elation in between my time checks.

Are you bursting yet? Are you elated? Are you at all interested? Are you intrigued? Are you finding this amusing in any way? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are indeed a pathetic loser. (had to squeeze in another insult - even if it's just the last two crammed together).

Time check - 3:50

Alright now. What can I write that will keep you reading? Shall I make up a story for you? Nothing in my life is gripping enough to make anyone want to stay and read, so I'll have to make something up. Here goes...

Time check - 3:51 (getting faster - less mistakes)

There once was a hamster named Algernon. He was a grey mouse with a little black nose and tiny pink toes. Hmm.. rhyming, will see if I can do a Dr. Seuss style story. Nothing he wrote ever made sense, so this should be easy

Time check - 3:53 (more mistakes)

There was a mouse named Rose (had to change the name for obvious reasons)
Rose had a little black nose.
Rose had tiny pink toes.
Rose didn't need to wear hose. (pantyhose in case you're thinking of a garden hose)
Rose was not a mouse of Moe's.
Rose liked to wear her hair in bows.
okay this is really pathetic. And you're STILL reading. Loser.

Time check - 3:57 (takes time to rhyme and fix all kinds of mistakes)

Now what? Something entertaining.... thinking. Bear with me.

Time check - 3:58 (just) still thinking.

Come on - how hard can this be? I have come to the conclusion that I have a hard time being creative on demand. Oh, the stress... still thinking

Time check - 3:59

Am I brain dead? I can't think of anything amusing to write. And you're STILL reading. Giant Loser.

Time check - 4:00

Why in the Hell do I keep adding a c when I write TIME? Brain must be working faster than my fingers. They can't keep up so they skip a few letters? Who knows.

Time check - 4:01

I thought of something funny earlier that I thought I should put down in writing as I thought you would enjoy the wit of it, but alas, it is gone. I can't remember for the life of me.

Time check - 4:02

Why are you still here? I can't believe it. I have written absolutely nothing of interest, yet here you are, sitting on the edge of your seat, I am sure - just waiting, anticipating my next sentence. Gripping isn't it? Aren't you glad you decided to stay and read on?

Time check - 4:04

I am going to end this. I have to go to the bank, get an oil change before I can go home or my mileage will go over and my warranty will be void and null. I have to do a couple returns on the way home, and I have to pop into the grocery store to pick up butter and cream that I need to finish the cake tonight (have to deliver in the morning). Chocolate cake, fudge layer, chocolate buttercream icing. Covered and decorated in fondant. Hope to God it turns out. I will freak if I run into any problems. I am too tired to deal with mistakes. I do enough of that here, typing this for you to endure... I mean, enjoy.

Time check - 4:07 - getting better!

Alright. I am going to end this. Really and truly. This time I mean it. Honest. Unfortunately, every time I go to leave, the clock changes and I feel the need to let you know. So, until I can type what I'm thinking all within one minute, I will be here.

Time check - 4:08. DAMN!

GOING, GOING, GONE!

POOF!

Time check - 4:09 - STUPID SPELL CHECK TOOK TOO LONG!

GONE NOW.....