I have to clean my house tonight. My Mom is coming over to watch child number 2 and 3 while we're at the hockey game on Thursday. Tomorrow is bowling night, so I won't be able to do it then. Actually, what in the Hell am I worried about? This woman raised me. I learned all my bad habits from her. About a month ago while my kids were gone for the weekend, my sugarbooger was out doing his own thing, and my stalker was MIA, I went to see my Mom and Dad. While there, my Aunt Susan called to say that she and Uncle Red were going to pop out to the new Walmart Superstore and then they were heading over for a visit. There are two pieces of information needed to make sense of what was about to happen.
1) My Aunt Susan is a neat freak - bordering on Martha Stewart.
2) My mom is not a neat freak - bordering on Erma Bombeck.
So, the lovely conversation we were having came to an abrupt halt and before I knew it, I was holding a rag and a can of pledge. I do not like to do this at my own house - and here I was, feeling like I was nine years old again, listening to my mother criticize my dusting techniques. YaddaYaddaYadda - with the livingroom dusted and having moved all the piles (papers, books, clothing, and other crap that had accumulated over the span of a month) up into the spare bedroom, I was just about to drag the vacuum around when she told me to stop and put it away. Her reason? Because they would know that she JUST cleaned. Not like they wouldn't know... I made a point of telling them when they got there!
I digress.
I have decided that I DON'T have to clean my house tonight. It's really not that bad anyway.. as long as you keep your eyes closed! No, really, I just need to do a quick dust and vacuum. I just hope to God she doesn't lift the cushions off the couch for any reason. OMG. I was under there yesterday in my search for my cuticle nippers that mysteriously disappeared after Jade's return. I didn't find them, but my oh my... I was unaware of how much stuff you can hide under the cushions of a couch! There was a whack of cat hair, dust, crumbs, cereal, elastics, balls, Hot Wheels, lego, popcorn, pretzels, a bottle of hand cream, Christmas gift tags, psp games, ds games, water bottle caps, and an array of candy wrappers from (I hate to say it) Halloween, Christmas and VD day. Is this abnormal?
I did remove all the larger objects, but instead of pulling out the vacuum, I brushed as much of the crumbs and hair into the corners as I could, and then put the cushions back on.
Hey - I have come a long way from when I first moved out on my own. I hate hand washing dishes. HATE. I lived in an apartment and didn't have a dishwasher. I always had a sink full of water with dishes "soaking." That was my excuse if people came over unannounced. If I had enough warning, I would empty the sink and hide all the dishes in the oven and put a towel over the window so no one would see them. This was a fine alternative to actually washing the dishes (or so I thought). It backfired on my one day after preheating the oven for dinner - neglecting to remove the dishes first. Took me a minute to figure out why I was smelling burning plastic.
Well, I have revealed a little more of myself than I ever wished to here. Mind you, like I said, I have come a long way. My kitchen is clean, my dishes are done and put away, and my sink is washed and dried every night before I go to bed (as per my stalker's flylady advise). Now I guess my least favorite household chore would be a toss up between vacuuming under the couch cushions and cleaning the litter box. Or, cleaning vomit at unGodly hours of the night/morning. I will add a link to an earlier post when I have the ability and time to do so.
Right now, I have to go pee. Aren't you glad I told you that? With this knowledge, I am confident that you will be able to live your life to its fullest.
I have to go. Enough babble. A happy Tuesday to ya!
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