Exciting news - read while sitting.

Okay, so I lie every now and then. Feel free to stand up.

Holy cow. I had to stray from my routine this evening.

Got home from work shortly after five.
Noted the house wasn't as bad as I had anticipated it would be.
went into the kitchen and pulled out the corned beef I was going to cook for dinner.
Noted that it would have to simmer for TWO HOURS.
Ordered pizza - picked it up fifteen minutes later
ate dinner
spent the rest of my evening walking on eggshells because sugarbooger was in a horrid mood.
I told Brett he could stay up a half hour late (it is March break).
At 8:30 - Tom told Brett it was time for bed.
Brett advised Tom that I said he could stay up until 9.
Tom went to bed in a huff at 8:30??
Not sure what's got him in a tizzy, but man, was he GRUMPY!
I dropped Jade off in Niagara
Stopped to get gas on the way home. Price is back up to .83 / litre
Got home to a quiet house and am now typing this exciting update.

I wuz thinking how hard it wuld bee too rite wurds like they sownd. Not as eezee as it seems. Whut mayd mee think of this yew wunder? No clew. Try it if yew dair.

Forget that - I type slow enough when I'm not thinking of how to misspell words. But that doesn't help me with the writing of a post. Let me see... how can we jazz this up a little? I coulsd not correct andy of my spelling errorsa nd make this a post which witll tequire soem dechipering. How does that sound? I'd say it woudl be an "unscramble this mess" post, but I fear my fingers don't always hit the keys that wtheyr'es supposed to. Honest;ly, the keyborad is reallya giant smash pad for me.

Or - how about this?

uagaeoewGFKB;ZNSAJfpeglfkj8e;wa (this is what it looks like when you bang your forehead on the keyboard).

I have to paint. I was thinking about painting a big target (dart board sized) on the wall with a note above it that will read "BANG HEAD HERE." I haven't decided where I would put it though. I was thinking that if I put in the front hallway, anyone that comes over can make use of it. They will need it after a visit with me.

I am questioning why you are reading this. I would have given up on it ages ago. Why would you continue reading after someone admits to smashing their head on the keyboard?

Alright enough of that... And now for something completely different (Monty Python reference).

Ho hum. Up for another one of my famous stories? How bout it? Well, if you don't want to read it, you know how to exit my blog.... okay, here it goes. It's going to be a good one, I can feel the creativity flowing through my veins.

Hi Ho there - Kermit the Frog here from Sesame Street News. Well, let's be quiet because we are with the great composer Simon Says. Now we will sneak up and try to get an interview with him.

"Mary had a little red corvette, a little red corvette, a little red corvette, Mary had a little red corvette it's chrome as shiny as..... as.... as... OH DARN DARN DARN! I CAN'T DO IT, I JUST CAN'T!" (bangs his head on the piano).

Kermit the frog steps in. "Excuse me Simon Says, but what seems to be the problem?"

"The problem is you %$#W&%*& gum dish, I can't think of a word that rhymes with corvette, I'm out of drugs AND I think you're a stupid nosy piece of green slime! Now get the $#*&% out of here before I nail ya!"

"My my, aren't we irritable today? Tradition has it that I help you think of a rhyming word (that, by the way, never fails) and then you sing the song and it works and everyone is happy."

"Well then gum dish... what's this amazing word you've thought up?"

"It's morbid."

"MORBID!!?? THAT SUCKS! GET THE #$^% OUTTA HERE!"
(and the strung out composer chases poor Kermie out).

This concludes the broadcast. See you next time on Sesame Street. La la la la la la.

What did you think? Did you enjoy my story? Think I should make a career of it? I could be famous. The next JK Rowling. You could tell everyone you meet that you're my bff. People would want to hang out with you - just so they might get the opportunity to meet the author of such wonderful books. Yes, that's right, books (plural). My story will be so adored that there will be sequels. People will want to know how poor Kermie recovered from the traumatic verbal lashing inflicted upon him by the nasty and villainous composer, Simon Says.

I am unique you know - just like everyone else.

I think I need some sleep. Coping with silly thoughts (as you might have noticed). It will only get worse if the night progresses. So I bid you farewell. I shall chat with you tomorrow during my 8 hours of clock watching (broken up by the odd phone call, fax or what have you). Hope you are sleeping the sleep of a baby. Why this saying exists is beyond me. If I recall, babies wake up every two or three hours. So, really, I hope you are sleeping the sleep of a ... a.... rock.

~ ta ta~