Deft / Daft

Ah - what to type about tonight....

I know - Cole reminded me of a funny story about Jade...

Brett was at Talon's again after school. I told him to head home at 6:45. Now - to get to Talon's house, you have to leave the comfort of our safe little street - nestled in amongst many more little side streets, and you have to cross a very busy main street. So, I decided I'd meet him because it was getting dark, a lot of people were still rushing to get home from work at that time, and because of the busy street. My car was at the top of the driveway - buried behind Tom's truck. It's only a ten minute walk, so I decided to do just that. Cole came along to keep me company.

Talon lives in an apartment building and like most of them, it has a buzzer just inside the front door. yadda yadda yadda "I'll send Brett right down..." So Cole and I wait in the lobby and try to warm up.

Cole starts laughing. I asked him what he was thinking about. He was remembering the time Jade's friend (Heather) invited her over for a visit. Heather and her Mom had just moved into a condo that had a buzzer at the front. Here's the condensed version of the conversation Jade and I had en route...


Me - "do you remember how to buzz her so she can let you in?"

Jade - "yes, I press 22 and then I punch it"

Me - "What?"

Jade - "that's what Heather said ... 22 then pound."

ME - "You're kidding right?"

Jade - "no, why? - what? - what's so funny? - why are you laughing?"

Me - "not pound as in punch - pound as in the # symbol!"

Jade - "oh. I did not know that!"


I question how my kids can make their teachers believe that they are so bright and clever, yet I spend most of my time with them - shaking my head in disbelief at some of the things that they do and say. Oh - another example. (Jade was 16 when this happened).

It was summer - Jade was home with the boys while I was at work. I asked Cole to unload the dishwasher and Brett was to load the dirty dishes into it. Jade calls me at work...

J - "Brett threw up in the dishwasher"
*side note - at this particular time, Brett wanted to be a garbage man when he grew up*

M- "What?"
J - "He got goo on his finger and he threw up in the dishwasher - I don't know how to clean it."
M - "Put soap in the soap compartment, close it, shut and lock the door of the dishwasher and press the start button."
J - "Ok."

Five minutes later she calls me back:
J - "I think I screwed up."
M - "Why - what happened?"
J - "I didn't notice the soap compartment until after I unscrewed that little cap and put a bunch of soap in."
M - "Unscrew... ughhh... that is where you put the rinsing agent."

Blah blah blah - How can you do dishes almost every day for 4 years and NOT KNOW where the soap goes in the dishwasher?? How many times did we eat off of dishes that were never really washed - just rinsed? EWWW! ...Next, how can you possibly believe you will make a good garbage man when you throw up when you get a glob of butter on your finger - or you dry heave when you smell cat food? I suggested Brett pick another career - after all, you can't leave a door-to-door trail of vomit down the all the streets you service...

At this point in time:
Brett wants to be a fisherman. Not out on the ocean, he wants to sit in a canoe and fish all day.
Cole wants to be a veterinarian.
Jade is in college - learning all about hotel management.
Tom wants to win the lottery
So do I.