We picked up the boys yesterday after their visit with the sperm donor.
They climb in the car and I got a whiff of a heavy, musty smell. It was Cole's bathing suit. Seems psycho is in the midst of moving and the new place has an indoor pool (which happens to be green with algae). He let the boys swim in it anyway.
So this morning after I started the water in the tub, I headed upstairs to wake up Brett. All I could smell was that musty smell, so I told him to hop in the bath I was running for myself, but to make it quick because I had to have a shower when he was done. So then I wandered downstairs to wake up Cole. I get to the landing and I smell the musty smell again. I asked Cole if he had a shower after swimming. He said no. So now there are three of us in need of the shower and only 30 minutes before we have to head out the door.
Brett gets out of the bath. I hopped in the shower while Cole made his lunch and Brett got dressed. I got out of the shower and Cole got in - Brett passed me on the way to the kitchen to make his lunch and I smelled the must AGAIN. So, I figured he hadn't washed his hair properly (seeing that he's 9 this was not an unrealistic conclusion). So Cole gets out of the shower, I have Brett lean over the tub while I wash his hair for him. Dry him off. He STILL smells like must. I call Cole over and smell his hair. He STILL smells too. I can't get rid of the smell!
So then, while putting his shoes on, Brett informs me that his head hurts because his ears are still full of water from swimming, and his neck is sore... inside. I asked if he got any water in his mouth while swimming. He said "just swallowed a little mouthful." I was FUMING! So, I had to pull out the peroxide and a syringe and squirted some in his ears, massaging them to make sure that it cleaned out the entire cavity. His ears did pop - and they were still "fizzing" after cleaning them with Q-Tips. I can imagine what had been festering in there overnight.
I emailed psycho to complain that this was NOT acceptable - he assured me that the pool had been tested on Friday and that it was fine for swimming... that yes, it was green, but there was nothing living in the water. And as for the smell, he said that he wasn't aware it smelled until AFTER the boys got out.
What an idiot. I am so fed up.
The kids stink. The kids' bedding now stinks. The kids' bathing suits now stink - AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WILL GET RID OF THE SMELL! It's like the time Tom and I got sprayed by a skunk. Stupid story...
We had just moved into the house and decided to go for a walk to Horton's as it was a nice, crisp autumn evening. On the way home, we encountered a horrid smell. I questioned if it was the leaves we were disturbing as we walked. Took a quick look around, and there - probably 30-40 feet away was a skunk crossing the street. I assume something spooked it and it sprayed - the wind caught it and blew it at us. It was gross. I washed our clothes twice with no success. We had to leave our shoes and clothes outside on the clothes line for three weeks before the smell could be washed out. Oh, it was bad. It was the best "Welcome to the neighborhood" I have ever encountered!
Alright, enough of this bitch-fest. I promise when I come back that I will be in a better frame of mind.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday adventures
I got your text last night - we must have been at the bowling alley when you sent it because I didn't hear the notification until we were in the car on the way home. (oh, and to answer the question of whether we were sitting in the dark for earth day; does glow in the dark bowling count?)
It was alright - bowled a 217 and a 180-something. Near the end of the last game, some kids started bowling on the lanes next to us. Some little #$%@#^ grabbed a ball and launched it so hard that after it hit the right gutter, it came flying across the ball return and smashed into the panel above OUR lane and came back towards the approach in OUR right gutter. Next time it was my turn, I realized that it was one of MY personal balls that had fallen victim to the idiot. It now has a huge chunk out of it. Tom (Red Foreman) freaked on the kid. Anyway, what's done is done. Not like he did it on purpose, and how was he to know they weren't house balls?
You said that you'd filled 8 lawn bags of crap from your garden. I did nothing of the sort and today, all the piles of leaves and miscellaneous crap that I did mangae to rake up are now giant piles of wet gunk, so I will have to wait for them to dry before I can even consider putting them into those stupid paper lawn bags.
With regards to my last post, you asked "why post that you don't feel like typing - isn't it easier to click on the X?" The answer is simple. I spent all that energy to type it, and I didn't want my effort to go unnoticed, so I opted to post it. Why waste it?
Jay and Emma came over last night. I gave Emma the Mexican Jumping Beans I bought for Ian. She said they had something for me too. Like me, she had to borrow a pen to fill in the card and then she handed me a gift card for Michael's!
They headed home at about 1:45am. They forgot the jumping beans.
We have nothing exciting planned for today. Dull and dreary outside which is probably a good thing because our energy levels mirror the weather. Very tired. Only got 11 hours sleep!
I am going to go eat breakfast (current time 1:18 in the afternoon).
It was alright - bowled a 217 and a 180-something. Near the end of the last game, some kids started bowling on the lanes next to us. Some little #$%@#^ grabbed a ball and launched it so hard that after it hit the right gutter, it came flying across the ball return and smashed into the panel above OUR lane and came back towards the approach in OUR right gutter. Next time it was my turn, I realized that it was one of MY personal balls that had fallen victim to the idiot. It now has a huge chunk out of it. Tom (Red Foreman) freaked on the kid. Anyway, what's done is done. Not like he did it on purpose, and how was he to know they weren't house balls?
You said that you'd filled 8 lawn bags of crap from your garden. I did nothing of the sort and today, all the piles of leaves and miscellaneous crap that I did mangae to rake up are now giant piles of wet gunk, so I will have to wait for them to dry before I can even consider putting them into those stupid paper lawn bags.
With regards to my last post, you asked "why post that you don't feel like typing - isn't it easier to click on the X?" The answer is simple. I spent all that energy to type it, and I didn't want my effort to go unnoticed, so I opted to post it. Why waste it?
Jay and Emma came over last night. I gave Emma the Mexican Jumping Beans I bought for Ian. She said they had something for me too. Like me, she had to borrow a pen to fill in the card and then she handed me a gift card for Michael's!
They headed home at about 1:45am. They forgot the jumping beans.
We have nothing exciting planned for today. Dull and dreary outside which is probably a good thing because our energy levels mirror the weather. Very tired. Only got 11 hours sleep!
I am going to go eat breakfast (current time 1:18 in the afternoon).
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Insanity has its rewards
These pictures are more for my use than for your amusement. You see, we have these neighbors across the street (we refer to them as the rednecks our next door neighbors call them the Tennessee-ans) ((I have no idea how I should spell that)). ← (((like the way I did that?!)))
Anyway, this family usually has five or six cars parked out front - at night their cars line the street because their driveway is full of crap. They are at work right now, so I had a chance to snap a couple pictures. Last year, they had a car parked in their back yard for 9 months.
Over the winter, they bought a snowplow. (they have a gravel driveway and the cars in it haven't moved in a coon's age) ((what exactly is a coon's age?)) ← (((again))). They did help out their idiot neighbor (green bin and blue box next door to them). The guy dragged all the snow out of his driveway and left it in a pile on the road. Not sure why - this guy never parks in his driveway either. It's an obstacle course trying to get home as it's a narrow street and these clowns refuse to park in their driveways.
Anyway. Snow season is over. As you can see from the second pic, it looks as though they plan to store the blade on their front grass with the pile of extra car parts that have already been sitting there for over a year. The latest addition to the lawn is the boat and trailer. It arrived last week. Why can't they just buy garden gnomes?
So again, the purpose of these pictures is to see how long before any of these items disappear. Note - it is March 27. The boat arrived March 19. The snowplow blade has been on the grass since early February. The car parts have been there for a little over a year if my memory serves me well.
** I have decided to remove the pictures out of respect for the family's loss - you never know who might trip over this blog - and knowing my luck, it would be someone who knows them **
Anyway, this family usually has five or six cars parked out front - at night their cars line the street because their driveway is full of crap. They are at work right now, so I had a chance to snap a couple pictures. Last year, they had a car parked in their back yard for 9 months.
Over the winter, they bought a snowplow. (they have a gravel driveway and the cars in it haven't moved in a coon's age) ((what exactly is a coon's age?)) ← (((again))). They did help out their idiot neighbor (green bin and blue box next door to them). The guy dragged all the snow out of his driveway and left it in a pile on the road. Not sure why - this guy never parks in his driveway either. It's an obstacle course trying to get home as it's a narrow street and these clowns refuse to park in their driveways.
Anyway. Snow season is over. As you can see from the second pic, it looks as though they plan to store the blade on their front grass with the pile of extra car parts that have already been sitting there for over a year. The latest addition to the lawn is the boat and trailer. It arrived last week. Why can't they just buy garden gnomes?
So again, the purpose of these pictures is to see how long before any of these items disappear. Note - it is March 27. The boat arrived March 19. The snowplow blade has been on the grass since early February. The car parts have been there for a little over a year if my memory serves me well.
** I have decided to remove the pictures out of respect for the family's loss - you never know who might trip over this blog - and knowing my luck, it would be someone who knows them **
Now, on to bigger and better things.
I stopped by to see my stalker after work as I bought her some "bitch bullets" because, while we were yapping on IM, she said that she was dying with severe cramps. (aren't you glad I posted that?)
SO, since I was in the area anyway, I popped into Holland Park Garden because they have Mexican Jumping Beans for sale. I hadn't seen these in years and I was just talking about them with a friend's son, who had never heard of them. So I bought 3 boxes - one for Ian, one for Cole and one for Brett.
Hold tight.. I know this is boring, but I'm telling you, it's about to get interesting. You will have the opportunity to see just how this brain of mine works.
FIRST - I caught myself driving like I was delivering an assembled, six tiered wedding cake. Slowing down for corners, driving the speed limit, and leaving a larger "cushion" than I normally would (who am I kidding - I tailgate until the idiot in front of me switches lanes to get me off his ass). All this for three little boxes of Mexican Jumping Beans.
SECOND - Lost in thought while driving (I was thinking about whether or not I could ever have sex with Deb... and I hate to disappoint you Deb, but I decided that it would be unlikely - unless of course, it was on your bucket list!) I sure hope no one else is reading this blog. Bah - I'm sure they would have given up on it by now... I digress.
SECOND (again) - I thought I was driving with my indicator on. I didn't see the blinking arrows on my dash so I immediately thought a bulb had burnt out. So, in an attempt to turn my indicator off, I turned it on because the noise was actually the beans jumping around.
THIRD - I pondered. Deep, meaningful thoughts. I was wondering what made the beans start up all of a sudden? Was it the music? At the time I noticed their movement, I was listening to Island in the Sun by Weezer. I flipped to the radio and Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen was playing. Not sure if they stopped jumping or if I just didn't hear them anymore as I turned the volume up. So, I never did figure out the answer. Besides, I got distracted by some dick that somehow managed to get in front of me going 20km/h slower than I was.
FOURTH - once Dick moved over to get me off his ass, I started to pay attention to the beans again. Instead of wondering if it was the music that was causing them to jump, I started wondering that, if they were jumping because of the music, what did the jumping mean? Was it an indication that they liked the music - or disliked it? I decided it meant they liked it. Thought of my kids in the back seat head banging whenever AC/DC was playing. Envisioned little larva head bangers - sporting bandannas, body piercings and tattoos.
Finally I got home. I had every intention of going down to do some laundry and to drag the vacuum around, but then I realized I had the opportunity to take pictures of the junk yard across the street and got sidetracked. I am going to end this and go do something productive. The boys will be home in a half hour and I'm taking them to get haircuts when they arrive. So, there you have it. I tell you, if I wasn't insane, I'd be very bored.
Another productive day at work
This is what I'm thinking of painting on the wall at the front doorway. I could use my stalker's CASE method (copy and steal everything) and do the wording like this (stolen from her blog that she stole from a blog). Only I wouldn't paint the letters the same colour as the walls, so they would stand out. What do you think?! Where in the Hell is my stalker? No posts. No comments. I know you said you needed to get rid of all the negativity in your life... did that include my blog?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Batman holds a disgusting secret....
I just cleaned the litter box so I could sit here and surf without the horrid smell in the room with me. No sooner do I sit down after it was done and guess who sauntered in? Good 'ol Bonnie.
Many years ago when Jade was probably 5, I decided to clean out her toy box while she was at school. While rummaging through the Spice Girl paraphernalia, the pogs, the sky dancers, the Polly pockets, the tamagotchi things, the Barbies, light bright pegs, hundreds of McDonald's happy meal toys, the Furbies and whatever else she convinced me to buy for her, I came across a little container of candies. It was a Batman head and when I picked it up I noted there were still candies in it. I opened it. Odd grey candies. Why hadn't Jade eaten them? I decided that they were probably licorice flavored or perhaps sour. So I popped some in my mouth to see.
I realized in horror, that they weren't candies at all. She was obviously playing some twisted little game and had filled the Batman head with something other than candies. Gross. I had eaten cat litter. For some reason, she decided that the hundreds of dollars worth of toys in her room were not as fun to play with as the cat's "sand box." In my defense, I had just had Cole and was dealing with "mommy brain" at the time. I have no other excuse that might explain why I didn't know it was litter, just by looking at it.
I'm tired, but had to do a couple loads of laundry so the kids don't have to go to school in bathing suits tomorrow. So I decided to surf for a while, but then I saw Bonnie in the box and decided I had to blog about it for some unknown reason. Then, to make this whole experience worse, I admitted publicly that I have eaten litter. Oh my day just keeps getting better and better.
Cole, he FINALLY decided to get a haircut. Said he's going to get it cut short (hooray!) and will let it grow back so it will be long again by Christmas. (boo!)
Alright, I am yawning which is causing my eyes to water and my nose to run. I am going to go collapse. Morning comes too soon!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I was up to my ass in alligators all day...
...and it's left me absolutely exhausted.
I am done for the day. Well, not technically, but my brain is full. I can hold no more information until some of the days input is absorbed.
It has been a long one again. I am so ready to quit my job and apply at Horton's. Must be nice to have a job that you leave at work. A job that requires very little thought. Hell - if experience has taught me anything, it's that if you work behind the counter at Tim Horton's, you don't even have to give the customer what they order. If you can't remember, just wing it and chances are, they won't notice until they're on the highway! Drive through is even easier. Work as slow as you possibly can, and maybe the customers will just give up and go somewhere else (saving you a ton of work)!
I swear, today has been a creative accounting kind of day. I know very well that tomorrow I will look at what I've done today and wonder what in the Hell I was thinking. Ugh. I hate days like this.
At this very moment, it is 4:06. I have 20 minutes left of this personal Hell I call my workday. Looks like rain outside. Of course it's going to rain. It's Wednesday and I have to go bowling tonight - this means I will be unable to see the lines on the road as described in an earlier post. I'd add a link, but figure why bother? Who wants to read MORE of what I have written in this pathetic blog?
Well, I should go. I might have said I am done, but I have to do up a deposit and hit the bank on my way home. Exciting stuff eh? I'd make my usual pledge that my next entry will be more interesting, but I think you've caught on to the fact that I lie and exaggerate when it comes to my blog entries.
I don't feel like writing anymore so I won't
I am done for the day. Well, not technically, but my brain is full. I can hold no more information until some of the days input is absorbed.
It has been a long one again. I am so ready to quit my job and apply at Horton's. Must be nice to have a job that you leave at work. A job that requires very little thought. Hell - if experience has taught me anything, it's that if you work behind the counter at Tim Horton's, you don't even have to give the customer what they order. If you can't remember, just wing it and chances are, they won't notice until they're on the highway! Drive through is even easier. Work as slow as you possibly can, and maybe the customers will just give up and go somewhere else (saving you a ton of work)!
I swear, today has been a creative accounting kind of day. I know very well that tomorrow I will look at what I've done today and wonder what in the Hell I was thinking. Ugh. I hate days like this.
At this very moment, it is 4:06. I have 20 minutes left of this personal Hell I call my workday. Looks like rain outside. Of course it's going to rain. It's Wednesday and I have to go bowling tonight - this means I will be unable to see the lines on the road as described in an earlier post. I'd add a link, but figure why bother? Who wants to read MORE of what I have written in this pathetic blog?
Well, I should go. I might have said I am done, but I have to do up a deposit and hit the bank on my way home. Exciting stuff eh? I'd make my usual pledge that my next entry will be more interesting, but I think you've caught on to the fact that I lie and exaggerate when it comes to my blog entries.
I don't feel like writing anymore so I won't
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I am special (in a short bus kinda way)!
I am special - in a short bus kinda way. Tonight at dinner, I grabbed my napkin to wipe my mouth. I guess it was covered in crumbs and when I picked it up, they all flew into my eye. That was at 5:30. It's now almost midnight and I finally got them out!
I guess it could have been worse. Jade once bit into a cheese doggie and the melted cheese squirted her in the eye. And one day on lunch break, Mike was bugging Barb - pretending to pound his fist on a little packet of ketchup that was on the table in front of her. Only thing was, he did end up hitting the packet causing it to explode and it flew into Barb's eye. That would have been bad enough, but we soon realized it was hot sauce and not ketchup. This was the first and only time anyone has ever had to use our eye wash station.
Eating is dangerous.
Many years ago, there was a very large woman that lived across the street from my parents. Her husband demanded that she get her eating under control and started taking inventory of the food in the house before he went to work. Because of this, she gained even MORE weight. She later admitted that if there were four Oreos missing from the box, she would eat the remainder, go out and buy another box and eat four out of it so he wouldn't know that she'd eaten any. How bad is that.
She ended up joining weight watchers and last time I saw her, she looked terrific. Guess you have to want to do it for yourself. No one can tell you what to do.
I was watching The First 48 earlier while Tom was on the bike. (It's a rare thing for MoeMoe to have control of the converter when anyone else is awake). Condensed version... Tom came out, let me finish watching the episode (there were two more to follow), he grabbed the remote, flipped through the guide for a few minutes, then said "I don't know what you want on..." WTF? How could he not know what I wanted on. Any time I am watching it when he comes home, he says "haven't you seen this one yet?" He knows I enjoy watching the show. I enjoy it even more when Sergeant Caroline Mason from Tennessee is on - I swear hear tongue is too big for her mouth or something - I can barely understand what she's saying because she mumbles.
Drives me mental!
I swear Bonnie and Clyde are out to kill me. They were named appropriately. These cats WILL NOT cover their poop when they're done in the litter box. I swear someone could die from the odor. It's toxic!
I have to get out of here - OMG - this is horrid
HOLY JUMPIN' ...
I did it again yesterday...
I got home from work
Made dinner
Ate dinner
Did the dishes
Started to watch the 6:00 news
Fell asleep on the couch
Woke up this morning at 7:30
Poked the kids to wake them up
Had a shower
Said Good Morning to Cole who was fixing his breakfast
Woke up Brett again
Got dressed and brushed my teeth
Woke up Brett again
Brushed and dried my hair
Woke up Brett again
Went down and fed the cats
Threatened Brett with an earlier bedtime
Filled out a form for a class trip to Medieval Times
Helped the boys pack their lunches
Dropped them off at school
Grabbed coffee
Dropped one off to Tom
Drove to CompAir to pick up some oil for the compressor
Got to work
Worked.
Finally taking a break (which is about to come to an abrupt halt because there is a truck with a huge load that just pulled up).
I didn't bring a lunch (as usual) but was starving, so I decided to grab something off the coffee truck. Something small. Something quick. I decided that a sausage roll would do the trick along with a diet coke. (Keep the calorie intake down). I came inside and while unwrapping the sausage roll, noticed that the nutrition facts were printed on the back of the wrapper. I just about had a heart attack (and I hadn't even taken a bite yet)!
I got home from work
Made dinner
Ate dinner
Did the dishes
Started to watch the 6:00 news
Fell asleep on the couch
Woke up this morning at 7:30
Poked the kids to wake them up
Had a shower
Said Good Morning to Cole who was fixing his breakfast
Woke up Brett again
Got dressed and brushed my teeth
Woke up Brett again
Brushed and dried my hair
Woke up Brett again
Went down and fed the cats
Threatened Brett with an earlier bedtime
Filled out a form for a class trip to Medieval Times
Helped the boys pack their lunches
Dropped them off at school
Grabbed coffee
Dropped one off to Tom
Drove to CompAir to pick up some oil for the compressor
Got to work
Worked.
Finally taking a break (which is about to come to an abrupt halt because there is a truck with a huge load that just pulled up).
I didn't bring a lunch (as usual) but was starving, so I decided to grab something off the coffee truck. Something small. Something quick. I decided that a sausage roll would do the trick along with a diet coke. (Keep the calorie intake down). I came inside and while unwrapping the sausage roll, noticed that the nutrition facts were printed on the back of the wrapper. I just about had a heart attack (and I hadn't even taken a bite yet)!
Hopefully this picture can be blown up (seems I haven't mastered the picture part of this whole blog thing). If not, I was shocked to see that this 150g roll contains 470 calories and 27 grams of fat! This makes me wonder how much Crisco would have the equivalant amount of fat? Gross. I ate it anyway - I was hungry.
Well, it's time for me to get going. Hopefully my next post will be something worth reading, but I highly doubt it. You have been warned so many times, yet you keep coming back!
Monday, March 23, 2009
What was I thinking?
Here is the assignment from grade eight that I was talking about. I cannot believe that I handed this in! I guess I have had my odd sense of humor a lot longer than I remember...
I saw this and asked myself several questions:
1) What was I thinking?
2) What was my teacher thinking while grading this?
3) How did I manage to get an A on this?
4) Did my printing really look like that?
5) Why would John decide to put this on?
6) After putting it on, why would he let anyone near him with a camera?
7) Did my mother see this before it was submitted? (probably not, our homework was ours - help was not available with the reasoning that we had all day to ask the teacher for help if we didn't understand what we were supposed to be working on).
I was (and still am) such a spaz!
I saw this and asked myself several questions:
1) What was I thinking?
2) What was my teacher thinking while grading this?
3) How did I manage to get an A on this?
4) Did my printing really look like that?
5) Why would John decide to put this on?
6) After putting it on, why would he let anyone near him with a camera?
7) Did my mother see this before it was submitted? (probably not, our homework was ours - help was not available with the reasoning that we had all day to ask the teacher for help if we didn't understand what we were supposed to be working on).
I was (and still am) such a spaz!
The worst visit with my sister that I've ever experienced
Where did my day go? I swear I just got up. I'll tell you where it went. NOWHERE, fast.
I called Wendy last night at my Mom's (she was staying there for the weekend) and made plans to go out there for a visit this morning. Maybe I'll do this point form because it's a lot easier to add things that I've missed.
- woke up
- opened my presents
- had a shower
- rounded up the kids and headed out to Mom's
- got to Mom's
- Mom and Dad were there, Wendy and Carson were not.
- 45 minutes later, they show up (Carson with a new hairdo)
- 30 minutes after that, Wendy leaves with Martin to get his hair cut
- 45 minutes later, they come back
- 20 minutes after that, Wendy left to go shopping
- Wendy came back and it was time for us to leave shortly thereafter
- went to the grocery store to pick up a few items that were needed for my birthday dinner
- got home and started to watch a movie with the boys
- Tom got back from the driving range
- Tom fired up the BBQ to cook the steaks and baked potatoes.
- Ran out of propane part way through
- Tom fired up the indoor grill
- We ate dinner.
- I lounged / dozed on the couch
- Saw the kids off to bed.
- Saw Tom off to bed
- went to the grocery store
- put the groceries away
- sat and typed this exciting post.
So, as you can see, I didn't have much of a visit with Wendy as she spent most of the time out and about. I'm not sure if she has a shopping problem, but whenever I see her, she is showing me what she bought - or is heading out to buy something.
For my birthday, Cole and Brett got me a couple nail files and a set of cuticle nippers to replace the ones that I never did find. Tom gave me a gift card for Michael's to use towards a Cricut along with two new shirts. My Mom and Dad gave me cash.
Jade called to wish me a happy birthday... she asked if I was at Grandma's and I said yes. She asked if Grandma sang to me and I said no. She said "well that's present enough isn't it?" I told her I was going to tell her Grandma what she said and Jade replied "please don't, because then she'll sing it three times to me on my birthday!"
So, I got off the phone with Jade and I told my Mom what she'd said. About 20 minutes later my cell phone rang again. Call display told me it was Jade, so I handed the phone to my Mom and said "do you want to answer it?" My Mom grabbed the phone and started singing Happy Birthday (Marilyn Monroe style). Too funny - well it might not seem that funny to you, but my Mom has the WORST singing voice (but that NEVER stops her)!
So anyway, here it is, the wee hours of the new work week and I am still awake, drinking a horrid coffee from Horton's and thinking that I should drag this butt to bed.
While at my Mom's, she showed me some old school work of mine that involved pictures I got from Wendy. Because they were Wendy's pictures, my Mom said she was giving it to her and not me. So I said I wanted to scan it before Wendy took it. So, I will scan it at work and will try to post it. I swear, I was horrified to think that I handed this thing in. I was in grade 8. I cannot imagine what my teacher thought. (I did get an A on it though). Not sure why??
Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda yadda.
Tomorrow. Morning. See you then!
I called Wendy last night at my Mom's (she was staying there for the weekend) and made plans to go out there for a visit this morning. Maybe I'll do this point form because it's a lot easier to add things that I've missed.
- woke up
- opened my presents
- had a shower
- rounded up the kids and headed out to Mom's
- got to Mom's
- Mom and Dad were there, Wendy and Carson were not.
- 45 minutes later, they show up (Carson with a new hairdo)
- 30 minutes after that, Wendy leaves with Martin to get his hair cut
- 45 minutes later, they come back
- 20 minutes after that, Wendy left to go shopping
- Wendy came back and it was time for us to leave shortly thereafter
- went to the grocery store to pick up a few items that were needed for my birthday dinner
- got home and started to watch a movie with the boys
- Tom got back from the driving range
- Tom fired up the BBQ to cook the steaks and baked potatoes.
- Ran out of propane part way through
- Tom fired up the indoor grill
- We ate dinner.
- I lounged / dozed on the couch
- Saw the kids off to bed.
- Saw Tom off to bed
- went to the grocery store
- put the groceries away
- sat and typed this exciting post.
So, as you can see, I didn't have much of a visit with Wendy as she spent most of the time out and about. I'm not sure if she has a shopping problem, but whenever I see her, she is showing me what she bought - or is heading out to buy something.
For my birthday, Cole and Brett got me a couple nail files and a set of cuticle nippers to replace the ones that I never did find. Tom gave me a gift card for Michael's to use towards a Cricut along with two new shirts. My Mom and Dad gave me cash.
Jade called to wish me a happy birthday... she asked if I was at Grandma's and I said yes. She asked if Grandma sang to me and I said no. She said "well that's present enough isn't it?" I told her I was going to tell her Grandma what she said and Jade replied "please don't, because then she'll sing it three times to me on my birthday!"
So, I got off the phone with Jade and I told my Mom what she'd said. About 20 minutes later my cell phone rang again. Call display told me it was Jade, so I handed the phone to my Mom and said "do you want to answer it?" My Mom grabbed the phone and started singing Happy Birthday (Marilyn Monroe style). Too funny - well it might not seem that funny to you, but my Mom has the WORST singing voice (but that NEVER stops her)!
So anyway, here it is, the wee hours of the new work week and I am still awake, drinking a horrid coffee from Horton's and thinking that I should drag this butt to bed.
While at my Mom's, she showed me some old school work of mine that involved pictures I got from Wendy. Because they were Wendy's pictures, my Mom said she was giving it to her and not me. So I said I wanted to scan it before Wendy took it. So, I will scan it at work and will try to post it. I swear, I was horrified to think that I handed this thing in. I was in grade 8. I cannot imagine what my teacher thought. (I did get an A on it though). Not sure why??
Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda yadda.
Tomorrow. Morning. See you then!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Life as a 38 year old
I am now 38. And here's what I've noticed in the first 53 minutes of being 38:
- Tim Horton's still screws up my coffee
- I still don't win on the roll up the rim cups
- I still hate wearing bras
- I still hate wearing underwear
- my feet have not grown
- I think my ass might have
- my toes are still hairy
- the litter box still stinks
- I am as tired now as I was an hour ago
- I still drive a Rendezvous (with a front end problem)
- I still don't have a Cricut
- I still suck at Spider Solitaire
- I remembered that I have a blog
- I remembered the password to get onto my blog
- I still have nothing to write about
- I still have the most boring blog on the web.
- You still keep coming back to read this crap.
Thank you for joining me on this exciting journey. Your participation is appreciated.
Now, without any further delay, let me introduce you to the end of my first post as a 38 year old.
- Tim Horton's still screws up my coffee
- I still don't win on the roll up the rim cups
- I still hate wearing bras
- I still hate wearing underwear
- my feet have not grown
- I think my ass might have
- my toes are still hairy
- the litter box still stinks
- I am as tired now as I was an hour ago
- I still drive a Rendezvous (with a front end problem)
- I still don't have a Cricut
- I still suck at Spider Solitaire
- I remembered that I have a blog
- I remembered the password to get onto my blog
- I still have nothing to write about
- I still have the most boring blog on the web.
- You still keep coming back to read this crap.
Thank you for joining me on this exciting journey. Your participation is appreciated.
Now, without any further delay, let me introduce you to the end of my first post as a 38 year old.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Another one of those posts... sorry.
I am writing as though there is more than one person reading this. I know it's unlikely, but it is the eve of my birthday and I have decided I can do whatever I want.
Two people won the 649 pool tonight. I was not one of them. I am so disappointed. That money would have paid for a Cricut and then some! Guess I'll have to continue saving up for one.
Went to my stalker's for a bikini waxing party on Friday night. It was a gathering of some awesome girls, some awesome food, awesome crantinis, awesome conversation and thankfully, no waxing! Didn't really matter - I had already shaved. The only thing on my body that has unwanted hair is my toes.
Deb (my stalker) had quite a set up. Her panini bar was an excellent idea and her dips and sauces were to die for! I brought a jalapeno popper dip that was posted at the big red kitchen and everyone said they liked it - I am a suck when it comes to spices and hot things so I wouldn't even try it. Ever wonder if people really like it - or if they're just being nice? I do. But I figure Deb wasn't lying. She just told me she ate the last of it for dinner. So if you like hot foods, go to the big red kitchen and copy this recipe.
Me and my hairy toes left her place a little before 3am. I am pooped.
Okay - this is pretty boring isn't it? I can't think of anything funny to post about. Really. I am drawing a blank. Perhaps it's because I am dead tired. Not stupid tired like in my Kermie post.
A postcard arrived in the mail the other day for Jade. It's from Guatemala. On the back is written
Dear Larry,
I searched everywhere for your pineapple, but all I found was your baby.
Bob.
Does this make sense to you? Me either. I'm pretty sure it's an inside joke or perhaps it's code? I know when I was younger, my friend Janet (aka CowPie or "CP") had codes for when we were talking on the phone. Like my Mom was stupid and couldn't figure out we were talking in code. If she walked in and out of the room six times, she would have heard me say "The sand is dry" ... six times. Duh. So I wasn't that sharp. Did you ever see the episode of Everyone Loves Raymond called "Ray's Journal?" Long and the short... he had a journal as a kid, and made up a secret code so his Mom wouldn't be able to understand what he'd written. Here's a little snip:
Deb: You had a code? What was the code?
Ray: It was nothing.
Deb: Oh, come on, say something to me in your code.
Ray: Yoka.
Deb: What?
Ray: I just answered you in my code. Yoka.
Deb: Okay, one more.
Ray: Yoka, ym ewif.
Deb: Okay, my wife? So you just took the last letter of the word and put it in front?
Ray: It was a very good code!
Deb: Oh, yeah, you're right. It's not at all "elam!"
I am grasping. I am so desperate, I am quoting tv shows.
I am going to get a coffee. My last coffee as a 37 year old. My birthday is less than an hour away. How sad.
Two people won the 649 pool tonight. I was not one of them. I am so disappointed. That money would have paid for a Cricut and then some! Guess I'll have to continue saving up for one.
Went to my stalker's for a bikini waxing party on Friday night. It was a gathering of some awesome girls, some awesome food, awesome crantinis, awesome conversation and thankfully, no waxing! Didn't really matter - I had already shaved. The only thing on my body that has unwanted hair is my toes.
Deb (my stalker) had quite a set up. Her panini bar was an excellent idea and her dips and sauces were to die for! I brought a jalapeno popper dip that was posted at the big red kitchen and everyone said they liked it - I am a suck when it comes to spices and hot things so I wouldn't even try it. Ever wonder if people really like it - or if they're just being nice? I do. But I figure Deb wasn't lying. She just told me she ate the last of it for dinner. So if you like hot foods, go to the big red kitchen and copy this recipe.
Me and my hairy toes left her place a little before 3am. I am pooped.
Okay - this is pretty boring isn't it? I can't think of anything funny to post about. Really. I am drawing a blank. Perhaps it's because I am dead tired. Not stupid tired like in my Kermie post.
A postcard arrived in the mail the other day for Jade. It's from Guatemala. On the back is written
Dear Larry,
I searched everywhere for your pineapple, but all I found was your baby.
Bob.
Does this make sense to you? Me either. I'm pretty sure it's an inside joke or perhaps it's code? I know when I was younger, my friend Janet (aka CowPie or "CP") had codes for when we were talking on the phone. Like my Mom was stupid and couldn't figure out we were talking in code. If she walked in and out of the room six times, she would have heard me say "The sand is dry" ... six times. Duh. So I wasn't that sharp. Did you ever see the episode of Everyone Loves Raymond called "Ray's Journal?" Long and the short... he had a journal as a kid, and made up a secret code so his Mom wouldn't be able to understand what he'd written. Here's a little snip:
Deb: You had a code? What was the code?
Ray: It was nothing.
Deb: Oh, come on, say something to me in your code.
Ray: Yoka.
Deb: What?
Ray: I just answered you in my code. Yoka.
Deb: Okay, one more.
Ray: Yoka, ym ewif.
Deb: Okay, my wife? So you just took the last letter of the word and put it in front?
Ray: It was a very good code!
Deb: Oh, yeah, you're right. It's not at all "elam!"
I am grasping. I am so desperate, I am quoting tv shows.
I am going to get a coffee. My last coffee as a 37 year old. My birthday is less than an hour away. How sad.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Grandma's Pineapple Squares
I know, I know... I said I was going to get some work done but then I went into the kitchen to grab a drink and I noticed my recipe box which reminded me that three weeks ago I told someone from my bowling team that I had a recipe he might like (seeing that he loves pineapple). Anyway, decided to post it here.
Grandma's Pineapple Squares
Step One:
2 c. graham cracker crumbs
½ c. melted butter
~ blend and press into 9"sq. baking dish
~ bake for 15 minutes at 300°F
~ cool completely
Step Two:
½ c. butter
1½ c. icing sugar (sifted)
2 beaten eggs
~ Blend for 10 minutes and then spread over crumbs
Step Three:
1 medium sized can of crushed pineapple (drained)
1 c. whipping cream - whipped and sweetened to taste
~ fold together and spread over the first two layers.
Step Four:
Chill for "hours and hours"
And there you have it. I do not get overly excited when it comes to pineapple, but I LOVE these!
* WAAYYY off topic... no one had their sixth number drawn so the pot is up to $1050.00 *
17, 17, 17, 17!!
Grandma's Pineapple Squares
Step One:
2 c. graham cracker crumbs
½ c. melted butter
~ blend and press into 9"sq. baking dish
~ bake for 15 minutes at 300°F
~ cool completely
Step Two:
½ c. butter
1½ c. icing sugar (sifted)
2 beaten eggs
~ Blend for 10 minutes and then spread over crumbs
Step Three:
1 medium sized can of crushed pineapple (drained)
1 c. whipping cream - whipped and sweetened to taste
~ fold together and spread over the first two layers.
Step Four:
Chill for "hours and hours"
And there you have it. I do not get overly excited when it comes to pineapple, but I LOVE these!
* WAAYYY off topic... no one had their sixth number drawn so the pot is up to $1050.00 *
17, 17, 17, 17!!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Hello my friend.
I have become a procrastinator. I worked on reports all day until my eyes were dry and sore. Because I have to meet a deadline, I brought my computer home with me to finish up the task at hand, yet here it is... 11pm on a Thursday night and the computer is still sitting on the floor in the corner, waiting to be hooked up.
My birthday is looming up before me, and just as every year since I purchased my first car, the Ministry of Transportation sends me their version of a birthday card - and as usual, it arrives six weeks early. Last year I had to have my driver's license renewed on top of the cost of the sticker. This year I need to have a drive clean test done. So, today I called the garage to make an appointment to get it done. The technician advised me he could do it next week. Now this would have been fine if I hadn't left it until three days before my birthday (which is a Sunday - which means I have to renew my stickers on Friday or I'll be in a fourteen hour line on Saturday). Ugh. I'm an idiot.
Condensed version - the tech said "Happy Birthday - I will squeeze you in tomorrow at 11:15 - but you have to be here at 11:15). This works out perfectly because I finish work at 11 on Fridays. AND, the garage is right next door to my stalker's place of business, so I can pop in and have a coffee with her while I wait. Hopefully they don't destroy the car while they're working on it. *It wouldn't be the first time it's happened to me*
My Villager. It was January a few years ago. I was driving home from work when all of a sudden I couldn't steer anymore. It was snowing heavily and I was driving through a foot of snow, so I just figured that something had been packed with snow. Yadda Yadda Yadda - brought it to the shop to have them check it out. Turned out the power steering belt had gone into self destruct mode. SO... I leave it with instructions not to do anything more than what was necessary as it was dying a slow, painful death and my intention was to just drive it into the ground without sinking a lot of money into it.
I am at work the next day and I get a phone call from the garage...
Tech - "I have good news, and I have bad news."
Moe - "alright - let me have it."
Tech - "The p/s belt has been replaced but in the process, we broke the bolt for the a/c belt and we don't have one in stock. I have it on order - it's only $6 and will take three minutes to fix."
Seeing that it was like -500°C outside, it was clearly unlikely that I would need to use my air conditioner, the tech said I could pick the car up and just pop in after work the next day and they would install it while I waited. So I picked up the van, paid the bill and went on my merry way.
The following day after work, I told Tom I would only be a few minutes late - they said I could wait and that they'd bring it in as soon as I got there. I head back over to Speedy Muffler to have this three minute, six dollar bolt installed (prepaid). I am sitting in the waiting room with this mega bitch who told me her life story - actually, was yelling her life story. She was a school teacher that had been laid off and was in the process of trying to get EI but was denied. She was RANTING about all the #$$#%$@# foreigners who come to this #%$#%$^# country and the $#&^%$#% government just hands these #$%#$% losers all the cash they might need, not to mention #$%$#%$ housing and blah blah blah. Every other word out of her mouth was fuck or fucking. No word of a lie. I was thinking she wasn't laid off - after hearing the way she spoke and her general demeanour, I was thinking she probably got canned for scaring the kids. ANYWAY - back to the story about ME.
I was standing at the window, watching them fix my van in an attempt to get this hag to stop bitching to me. I see them finish up and start to bring the hoist down. I turned to collect my things with the belief that I would be out of there in a matter of minutes. All of a sudden there was a loud SNAP, BANG, and SCRAAAAPE. I swung my head back around and watched in horror as the hoist that the van was one simply... well, it just fell apart. My van tipped and slid down the one post that had let go. It finally stopped - hanging precariously, a few feet up in the air.
I ran out to the shop and saw a mechanic - shaking like a leaf. And this is what was said:
Moe - "please tell me there was no one under there"
Tech - "we're okay"
Moe - "Thank God."
**before I continue, please note - I have a very bad habit of making a joke out of just about any situation. I just do not know how to react, what to feel or what to say. I am emotionally dull - I am more of a man than most men. Really.
Moe - "I think you might have misunderstood."
Tech - "I'm not sure I know what you mean"
Moe - "I said I was going to DRIVE it into the ground - not for you to drop it to the ground"
Tech - "This might sound really horrible, but I am soooo glad it was your car and not hers" (as he did a head nod in the hag's direction).
So, while he called head office and their insurance company, I walked over to the daycare to collect Brett. We walked home and I told Tom that I had to go back to the garage. He said "I thought is was only going to be a three minute job and they were going to do it right away?" I said "they did.. and then my van fell of the hoist."
He didn't believe me so threw on his boots and we headed back to the garage. As we were walking up the street he saw it and started laughing. It was in the bay closest to the big glass bay door at the front of the building. Tom continued to laugh at the sight AND at my luck with cars. (I have had three cars written off - and you know what? In every single case, there was never anyone in the car at the time... in fact, in every single case, the car wasn't even running). And yes, it was written off. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY NEVER REIMBURSED ME FOR THE POWER STEERING BELT OR THE BOLT. I asked, he said no. I said "come on... it's not even 24 hours old. I drove from Stoney Creek to Burlington, and then back." He wouldn't budge. They put me in a rental car for five weeks (that's how long it took the insurance company to clear everything). Think I got $2000 or $2500 for the van. Hey, it was an old jalopy that wasn't likely to survive the winter, so I guess I did alright! Always look for the silver lining.
Well, it's now 11:45 and I have some work to do.
Ciao my friend.
Oh, that reminds me (yes, I know - procrastinating again) I often grab a bite to eat at this little hole in the wall called Goody's. They guy always says to me "Hello my friend.. A diet coke and a 6" BLT on white, with mozzarella, tomato, lettuce and mayo for you today?" Then he always says "Goodbye my friend. See you in a day or so?" They guy is just so nice (he gives me LOTS of bacon at no extra charge).
I don't eat there that often - just once a week or so for the past few months. I guess he recognizes me and knows what I order. I am very predictable. But I can explain why. I hate trying new things for the fear of disappointment. Not only would it be a waste of money, I might wither away to nothing while waiting for my next meal. If I find something I truly enjoy, I stick with it. I may be a plain Jane, but it keeps me happy and full.
Why in the Hell can't the employees at Tim Horton's not remember my order? I go to the same one every morning - order 2 large double doubles - both with milk, a large decaf double double and a large decaf with one sweetener. I see the same employees every day - they even chat and joke with me, they know what I drive and a few other tidbits about my personal life - but do you think they could remember my order after going in there Monday through Friday for the past four years? And more often than not, they still put cream in my coffee instead of the milk that they punched into the system.
Okay - I have to get my ass in gear.
GOODBYE MY FRIEND... SEE YOU IN AN HOUR OR TWO?
My birthday is looming up before me, and just as every year since I purchased my first car, the Ministry of Transportation sends me their version of a birthday card - and as usual, it arrives six weeks early. Last year I had to have my driver's license renewed on top of the cost of the sticker. This year I need to have a drive clean test done. So, today I called the garage to make an appointment to get it done. The technician advised me he could do it next week. Now this would have been fine if I hadn't left it until three days before my birthday (which is a Sunday - which means I have to renew my stickers on Friday or I'll be in a fourteen hour line on Saturday). Ugh. I'm an idiot.
Condensed version - the tech said "Happy Birthday - I will squeeze you in tomorrow at 11:15 - but you have to be here at 11:15). This works out perfectly because I finish work at 11 on Fridays. AND, the garage is right next door to my stalker's place of business, so I can pop in and have a coffee with her while I wait. Hopefully they don't destroy the car while they're working on it. *It wouldn't be the first time it's happened to me*
My Villager. It was January a few years ago. I was driving home from work when all of a sudden I couldn't steer anymore. It was snowing heavily and I was driving through a foot of snow, so I just figured that something had been packed with snow. Yadda Yadda Yadda - brought it to the shop to have them check it out. Turned out the power steering belt had gone into self destruct mode. SO... I leave it with instructions not to do anything more than what was necessary as it was dying a slow, painful death and my intention was to just drive it into the ground without sinking a lot of money into it.
I am at work the next day and I get a phone call from the garage...
Tech - "I have good news, and I have bad news."
Moe - "alright - let me have it."
Tech - "The p/s belt has been replaced but in the process, we broke the bolt for the a/c belt and we don't have one in stock. I have it on order - it's only $6 and will take three minutes to fix."
Seeing that it was like -500°C outside, it was clearly unlikely that I would need to use my air conditioner, the tech said I could pick the car up and just pop in after work the next day and they would install it while I waited. So I picked up the van, paid the bill and went on my merry way.
The following day after work, I told Tom I would only be a few minutes late - they said I could wait and that they'd bring it in as soon as I got there. I head back over to Speedy Muffler to have this three minute, six dollar bolt installed (prepaid). I am sitting in the waiting room with this mega bitch who told me her life story - actually, was yelling her life story. She was a school teacher that had been laid off and was in the process of trying to get EI but was denied. She was RANTING about all the #$$#%$@# foreigners who come to this #%$#%$^# country and the $#&^%$#% government just hands these #$%#$% losers all the cash they might need, not to mention #$%$#%$ housing and blah blah blah. Every other word out of her mouth was fuck or fucking. No word of a lie. I was thinking she wasn't laid off - after hearing the way she spoke and her general demeanour, I was thinking she probably got canned for scaring the kids. ANYWAY - back to the story about ME.
I was standing at the window, watching them fix my van in an attempt to get this hag to stop bitching to me. I see them finish up and start to bring the hoist down. I turned to collect my things with the belief that I would be out of there in a matter of minutes. All of a sudden there was a loud SNAP, BANG, and SCRAAAAPE. I swung my head back around and watched in horror as the hoist that the van was one simply... well, it just fell apart. My van tipped and slid down the one post that had let go. It finally stopped - hanging precariously, a few feet up in the air.
I ran out to the shop and saw a mechanic - shaking like a leaf. And this is what was said:
Moe - "please tell me there was no one under there"
Tech - "we're okay"
Moe - "Thank God."
**before I continue, please note - I have a very bad habit of making a joke out of just about any situation. I just do not know how to react, what to feel or what to say. I am emotionally dull - I am more of a man than most men. Really.
Moe - "I think you might have misunderstood."
Tech - "I'm not sure I know what you mean"
Moe - "I said I was going to DRIVE it into the ground - not for you to drop it to the ground"
Tech - "This might sound really horrible, but I am soooo glad it was your car and not hers" (as he did a head nod in the hag's direction).
So, while he called head office and their insurance company, I walked over to the daycare to collect Brett. We walked home and I told Tom that I had to go back to the garage. He said "I thought is was only going to be a three minute job and they were going to do it right away?" I said "they did.. and then my van fell of the hoist."
He didn't believe me so threw on his boots and we headed back to the garage. As we were walking up the street he saw it and started laughing. It was in the bay closest to the big glass bay door at the front of the building. Tom continued to laugh at the sight AND at my luck with cars. (I have had three cars written off - and you know what? In every single case, there was never anyone in the car at the time... in fact, in every single case, the car wasn't even running). And yes, it was written off. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY NEVER REIMBURSED ME FOR THE POWER STEERING BELT OR THE BOLT. I asked, he said no. I said "come on... it's not even 24 hours old. I drove from Stoney Creek to Burlington, and then back." He wouldn't budge. They put me in a rental car for five weeks (that's how long it took the insurance company to clear everything). Think I got $2000 or $2500 for the van. Hey, it was an old jalopy that wasn't likely to survive the winter, so I guess I did alright! Always look for the silver lining.
Well, it's now 11:45 and I have some work to do.
Ciao my friend.
Oh, that reminds me (yes, I know - procrastinating again) I often grab a bite to eat at this little hole in the wall called Goody's. They guy always says to me "Hello my friend.. A diet coke and a 6" BLT on white, with mozzarella, tomato, lettuce and mayo for you today?" Then he always says "Goodbye my friend. See you in a day or so?" They guy is just so nice (he gives me LOTS of bacon at no extra charge).
I don't eat there that often - just once a week or so for the past few months. I guess he recognizes me and knows what I order. I am very predictable. But I can explain why. I hate trying new things for the fear of disappointment. Not only would it be a waste of money, I might wither away to nothing while waiting for my next meal. If I find something I truly enjoy, I stick with it. I may be a plain Jane, but it keeps me happy and full.
Why in the Hell can't the employees at Tim Horton's not remember my order? I go to the same one every morning - order 2 large double doubles - both with milk, a large decaf double double and a large decaf with one sweetener. I see the same employees every day - they even chat and joke with me, they know what I drive and a few other tidbits about my personal life - but do you think they could remember my order after going in there Monday through Friday for the past four years? And more often than not, they still put cream in my coffee instead of the milk that they punched into the system.
Okay - I have to get my ass in gear.
GOODBYE MY FRIEND... SEE YOU IN AN HOUR OR TWO?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
THINK "17 17 17 17 17 17 17 17"
My job is getting in the way of my blogging. Finally taking a break. I took a pee break a few hours ago and sat in someone's piss.
I lost it! I went out to the shop and went nuclear on the guys. Gross pigs. One of the guys wiped it off, and I have to go pee again, but I don't feel like scrubbing the toilet first. There is a HUGE difference between dry and clean & dry. So, I'll have to hold it in until I get home (only to sit in my kids' urine). I would rather they leave the seat up than not lift it at all.
The muscles in my right leg are going to be all nice and toned from doing the "jiggle your leg when you really need to pee" dance.
I am hungry. I strayed from the routine I described in an earlier post (yet again). We were supposed to have corned beef for dinner on Monday - but didn't realize it took that long to cook, so we ordered pizza. Yesterday we were supposed to have roast beef but I forgot to put it in the crockpot and I can't rely on a 13 year old boy to know how to prep a roast and get it into the oven, so I decided we'd have tacos. Well, even that backfired. Tom went out golfing, Cole went to Hutch's with Jordan and Brett was quite content with eating Pogo's, so I didn't make dinner two nights in a row. I did cook the corned beef though - Tom ate some when he got home. I threw the roast into the freezer and pulled out the chicken breasts for tonight.
I am in a 649 pool that sugarboogar has set up with his co-workers. You simply pick out six numbers. The first person to have all of their numbers drawn, wins. Every Friday (until someone has all their numbers picked) you throw five dollars into the pool. It started on February 21st. The first draw - four of my numbers were picked. Then it came to a screaming halt. Finally got another number this past Saturday, so now I'm waiting on one number (along with many other players). There are 42 people (well less, some people paid for 2-3 lines), We have all put in a total of $20 so far - therefore, the pot is up to $840.00.
THINK 17 FOR ME!!
My God I have to pee. I'm past the point of being able to clean the toilet now because as soon as I hear water by bladder is just going to let loose.
17
17
17
Work day is almost done. Sorry about the boring post. Well, I'm really not sorry. It's not my fault you read this to the end.
Loser! I'm outta here for now.
I lost it! I went out to the shop and went nuclear on the guys. Gross pigs. One of the guys wiped it off, and I have to go pee again, but I don't feel like scrubbing the toilet first. There is a HUGE difference between dry and clean & dry. So, I'll have to hold it in until I get home (only to sit in my kids' urine). I would rather they leave the seat up than not lift it at all.
The muscles in my right leg are going to be all nice and toned from doing the "jiggle your leg when you really need to pee" dance.
I am hungry. I strayed from the routine I described in an earlier post (yet again). We were supposed to have corned beef for dinner on Monday - but didn't realize it took that long to cook, so we ordered pizza. Yesterday we were supposed to have roast beef but I forgot to put it in the crockpot and I can't rely on a 13 year old boy to know how to prep a roast and get it into the oven, so I decided we'd have tacos. Well, even that backfired. Tom went out golfing, Cole went to Hutch's with Jordan and Brett was quite content with eating Pogo's, so I didn't make dinner two nights in a row. I did cook the corned beef though - Tom ate some when he got home. I threw the roast into the freezer and pulled out the chicken breasts for tonight.
I am in a 649 pool that sugarboogar has set up with his co-workers. You simply pick out six numbers. The first person to have all of their numbers drawn, wins. Every Friday (until someone has all their numbers picked) you throw five dollars into the pool. It started on February 21st. The first draw - four of my numbers were picked. Then it came to a screaming halt. Finally got another number this past Saturday, so now I'm waiting on one number (along with many other players). There are 42 people (well less, some people paid for 2-3 lines), We have all put in a total of $20 so far - therefore, the pot is up to $840.00.
THINK 17 FOR ME!!
My God I have to pee. I'm past the point of being able to clean the toilet now because as soon as I hear water by bladder is just going to let loose.
17
17
17
Work day is almost done. Sorry about the boring post. Well, I'm really not sorry. It's not my fault you read this to the end.
Loser! I'm outta here for now.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
20 things my stalker doesn't know about me:
I was given two missions. Well, it was a suggestion Deb made while I was whining to her about how sofa king bored I am. The first mission is this: Create a list of twenty things that she doesn't know about me. This is going to be a challenge because whenever I'm near her, I come down with a case of verbal diarrhea. The second mission is to create my own bucket list.
List One:
1) My sphincter is better now. I no longer need Popsicle sticks to scrape the dangling poop that I couldn't pinch off. You didn't actually KNOW this - you just assumed. Does this count? lol - God childbirth is a wonderful experience.
OK - seriously now... List one:
1) The most I have ever weighed was 198 lbs. (with child number one - gained 68 pounds)
2) I have never broken a bone in my body... or had stitches outside child birth.
3) I used to push my nearest and dearest childhood friend through bushes on the way home from school almost every day because I thought it was funny.
4) I once got accused of plagiarism in school after handing in a report I did on Oscar Wilde. I had to explain that I missed the class where we learned about footnotes (which was the honest to God truth and reason). Hey - when the teacher asked me, I pointed out all the tidbits that should have been flagged and footnoted... he gave me a warning and a fail on the report (asshole)
5) I failed swimming lessons when I was 8
6) I have only ever had one fight with Wendy (and she didn't know I was mad at her)
7) I am envious of your kitchen, and your bathroom (even though they're a little too small)
8) I wish that Tom was a little more handy. Well, maybe not more handy - just more detail oriented when undertaking household projects.
9) I have never told Tom about number 8
10) I hate talking to people I don't know. I can joke around, but I hate having a conversation with them. I always feel inadequate or that I'm being judged - or even worse; psychoanalyzed.
11) Once while in marriage counselling, I completely tuned everyone out and got caught. Marty asked for my opinion and I had to admit that I wasn't listening to a word he'd been saying. Honestly, I couldn't give a flying fuck. It was all a waste of time - waste of money - waste of energy. I had already decided it was not the life for me. Three strikes, you're out.
12) I wish I had the money to fix my smile.
13) I am scared that if you and Tom stopped talking to me, I would become a hermit. You're the only two people I care to talk to.
14) Was incredibly upset when you sided with psycho and I didn't have you to lean on when I needed you most.
15) Often worry about a having nervous breakdown - I have been hiding feelings for so long that I'm afraid one day it's all just going to fall apart.
16) After bitching about bad parenting being the cause of all the shithead kids running around, I often worry that my kids will become hoodlums. What would that say about my parenting skills?
17) I miss camping with my cousins, aunts and uncles.
18) The only reason I don't drink is because it makes me vomit. AND, it's not the vomiting part that stops me.... It's that fact that I can't puke without peeing. It's like Brett not being able to puke without it coming out his nose.
19) I have not hugged or kissed my Mom or Dad since I was about 7. Well, I did kiss my Dad at my wedding, but outside that, never.
20) If I could afford to live in BC, I probably would.
That was REALLY hard. But I don't think you knew most of this - maybe one or two that don't qualify, but the rest are valid....
List One:
1) My sphincter is better now. I no longer need Popsicle sticks to scrape the dangling poop that I couldn't pinch off. You didn't actually KNOW this - you just assumed. Does this count? lol - God childbirth is a wonderful experience.
OK - seriously now... List one:
1) The most I have ever weighed was 198 lbs. (with child number one - gained 68 pounds)
2) I have never broken a bone in my body... or had stitches outside child birth.
3) I used to push my nearest and dearest childhood friend through bushes on the way home from school almost every day because I thought it was funny.
4) I once got accused of plagiarism in school after handing in a report I did on Oscar Wilde. I had to explain that I missed the class where we learned about footnotes (which was the honest to God truth and reason). Hey - when the teacher asked me, I pointed out all the tidbits that should have been flagged and footnoted... he gave me a warning and a fail on the report (asshole)
5) I failed swimming lessons when I was 8
6) I have only ever had one fight with Wendy (and she didn't know I was mad at her)
7) I am envious of your kitchen, and your bathroom (even though they're a little too small)
8) I wish that Tom was a little more handy. Well, maybe not more handy - just more detail oriented when undertaking household projects.
9) I have never told Tom about number 8
10) I hate talking to people I don't know. I can joke around, but I hate having a conversation with them. I always feel inadequate or that I'm being judged - or even worse; psychoanalyzed.
11) Once while in marriage counselling, I completely tuned everyone out and got caught. Marty asked for my opinion and I had to admit that I wasn't listening to a word he'd been saying. Honestly, I couldn't give a flying fuck. It was all a waste of time - waste of money - waste of energy. I had already decided it was not the life for me. Three strikes, you're out.
12) I wish I had the money to fix my smile.
13) I am scared that if you and Tom stopped talking to me, I would become a hermit. You're the only two people I care to talk to.
14) Was incredibly upset when you sided with psycho and I didn't have you to lean on when I needed you most.
15) Often worry about a having nervous breakdown - I have been hiding feelings for so long that I'm afraid one day it's all just going to fall apart.
16) After bitching about bad parenting being the cause of all the shithead kids running around, I often worry that my kids will become hoodlums. What would that say about my parenting skills?
17) I miss camping with my cousins, aunts and uncles.
18) The only reason I don't drink is because it makes me vomit. AND, it's not the vomiting part that stops me.... It's that fact that I can't puke without peeing. It's like Brett not being able to puke without it coming out his nose.
19) I have not hugged or kissed my Mom or Dad since I was about 7. Well, I did kiss my Dad at my wedding, but outside that, never.
20) If I could afford to live in BC, I probably would.
That was REALLY hard. But I don't think you knew most of this - maybe one or two that don't qualify, but the rest are valid....
... so that
I could say that this is my FIFTIETH post!
At the time of this fiftieth post, I am:
Canadian
awake (although tired)
divorced
broke
vertical (well, semi-vertical)
sofa king bored.
not kidding.
back from the bank
back from Horton's
eating a muffin (don't be gross - get your chin back up on the curb)
drinking a coffee
sharing my wondrous thoughts with you
being lied to by my boss
getting pissed off because I KNOW I'm being lied to
being lied to again
now super pissed off because he seems to think I'm buying his lies
wondering why I don't call his bluff.
taking a sip of my coffee (which they fucked up again)
feeling a mood shift.
wishing I was a SAHM again - would do it without the kids if I had the chance to do it again
kidding.
remembering how much fun I had watching the rugrats evolve into the Hellions they are now
kidding.
thinking I lucked out with my kids
acknowledging that they all have a really good sense of humor which makes it that much easier
wishing I was anywhere but here - well, maybe not "anywhere" .. I wouldn't want to be at the dump or in a sewer or anything like that...
going to end this for a while. I have to go measure the space between my truck and Randy's. I was advised that I have taken up 5'-2" (he said he took a measuring tape and measured it). That was the first lie. Second lie was that the bank wouldn't cash a cheque I gave him for $6500 because they don't keep that much cash on hand. WTF? Do I look stupid?
I have to go. I am too stupid to continue this.
Fuck he pisses me off sometimes.
AHHH - AN IDEA! Perfect setting for a perfect day. Seeing my boss test driving a brand new vehicle down Lakeshore near Spencer Smith. I would have to give in to my urges. If this makes no sense to you, you will have to read this post.
At the time of this fiftieth post, I am:
Canadian
awake (although tired)
divorced
broke
vertical (well, semi-vertical)
sofa king bored.
not kidding.
back from the bank
back from Horton's
eating a muffin (don't be gross - get your chin back up on the curb)
drinking a coffee
sharing my wondrous thoughts with you
being lied to by my boss
getting pissed off because I KNOW I'm being lied to
being lied to again
now super pissed off because he seems to think I'm buying his lies
wondering why I don't call his bluff.
taking a sip of my coffee (which they fucked up again)
feeling a mood shift.
wishing I was a SAHM again - would do it without the kids if I had the chance to do it again
kidding.
remembering how much fun I had watching the rugrats evolve into the Hellions they are now
kidding.
thinking I lucked out with my kids
acknowledging that they all have a really good sense of humor which makes it that much easier
wishing I was anywhere but here - well, maybe not "anywhere" .. I wouldn't want to be at the dump or in a sewer or anything like that...
going to end this for a while. I have to go measure the space between my truck and Randy's. I was advised that I have taken up 5'-2" (he said he took a measuring tape and measured it). That was the first lie. Second lie was that the bank wouldn't cash a cheque I gave him for $6500 because they don't keep that much cash on hand. WTF? Do I look stupid?
I have to go. I am too stupid to continue this.
Fuck he pisses me off sometimes.
AHHH - AN IDEA! Perfect setting for a perfect day. Seeing my boss test driving a brand new vehicle down Lakeshore near Spencer Smith. I would have to give in to my urges. If this makes no sense to you, you will have to read this post.
{ } [ ] ← WHAT ARE THESE FOR?
I need to find the grammar maven. I need to know what these [ ] brackets are for. I never really thought about it until posting a comment on a comment that my stalker left me. (I have decided to write as though you're not the only one reading this).
Change of plans. I know I had something else in mind when I started this entry but this is more important (at the moment). I am going to create a list of things that have make me go "hmmm?"
1) [ ] ← what purpose do these serve?
2) { } ← what purpose do these serve? (I am assuming mathematical equations)
3) What does SS stand for in the SS Minnow? I actually looked it up. It's either steam ship or sailing ship.
4) What is the difference between a koi and a regular old goldfish?
5) Who designed the new section of Lakeshore at Spencer Smith Park? I would love to give them a swift cuff in the head. Since it was changed, I have yet to drive down this stretch of road without getting pissed off.
6) Am I the only one who is tempted to ram into people who are test driving new cars? - I am worried that one day I might see a yellow licence plate flapping from the trunk of a shiny new car and succumb to these urges.
7) Why are hockey tickets so expensive in Toronto? Why is it, people are willing to blow an easy $800 to see the Leafs lose? (they SUCK)
8) Why doesn't rain just come down in one lump?
9) What WOULD happen to Lake Ontario if giant vats of oxy clean were dumped into it? In my dream it was the key to making it crystal clear.
10) Why are you still reading this?
I started typing this earlier this morning but now that it's been a while (I actually had to do some work), I realize that the answers to these questions don't seem so important now.
So, my mind has wandered off again... where it's heading, I have yet to know. I will just keep typing random things until an idea pops into mind. I'm sure it will be a memorable reading experience for you. But hey, I'm assuming you've read just about every stupid thing I've posted, yet you still keep coming back. I figure that this is for one of two things. 1) You are super bored. 2) You are a loser who loves me no matter what I might admit to on this here blog.
I went to Hortons this morning. They fucked up my coffees again. So, I started out with lots of time to spare, but I had to go back to get them fixed. Luckily I realized the error before I got on the highway.
You're still here?
I forgot to put the roast in the crockpot this morning. I will not have the two hours needed to simmer the stupid corned beef we were supposed to have for dinner yesterday. So, I will defrost the ground beef I pre-cooked and will make tacos. At least the kids will enjoy dinner. Tom is going to the driving range after work. (seems that the golf season is slowly but surely making its way back).
You still here?
Sucker. If I sat here and typed for three hours non stop, would you sit and read it through to the end? Bet you would. No matter how boring it is. I am bored to the core. Or "sofa king bored" which is how I have decided to start referring to it as. Did that make sense?
Dun dun dun. Oh the suspense... I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat again. Dying to know what I'm going to write about next....
All that wait for nothing. I'm going to go for a bit. Who am I kidding? I'll probably be back in an hour to write a whole lot about a whole lot of nothing. [(and you'll be back to read it) (is this how the brackets are supposed to work?)] Probably not, but who's going to know (other than you) that I've misused them?
Change of plans. I know I had something else in mind when I started this entry but this is more important (at the moment). I am going to create a list of things that have make me go "hmmm?"
1) [ ] ← what purpose do these serve?
2) { } ← what purpose do these serve? (I am assuming mathematical equations)
3) What does SS stand for in the SS Minnow? I actually looked it up. It's either steam ship or sailing ship.
4) What is the difference between a koi and a regular old goldfish?
5) Who designed the new section of Lakeshore at Spencer Smith Park? I would love to give them a swift cuff in the head. Since it was changed, I have yet to drive down this stretch of road without getting pissed off.
6) Am I the only one who is tempted to ram into people who are test driving new cars? - I am worried that one day I might see a yellow licence plate flapping from the trunk of a shiny new car and succumb to these urges.
7) Why are hockey tickets so expensive in Toronto? Why is it, people are willing to blow an easy $800 to see the Leafs lose? (they SUCK)
8) Why doesn't rain just come down in one lump?
9) What WOULD happen to Lake Ontario if giant vats of oxy clean were dumped into it? In my dream it was the key to making it crystal clear.
10) Why are you still reading this?
I started typing this earlier this morning but now that it's been a while (I actually had to do some work), I realize that the answers to these questions don't seem so important now.
So, my mind has wandered off again... where it's heading, I have yet to know. I will just keep typing random things until an idea pops into mind. I'm sure it will be a memorable reading experience for you. But hey, I'm assuming you've read just about every stupid thing I've posted, yet you still keep coming back. I figure that this is for one of two things. 1) You are super bored. 2) You are a loser who loves me no matter what I might admit to on this here blog.
I went to Hortons this morning. They fucked up my coffees again. So, I started out with lots of time to spare, but I had to go back to get them fixed. Luckily I realized the error before I got on the highway.
You're still here?
I forgot to put the roast in the crockpot this morning. I will not have the two hours needed to simmer the stupid corned beef we were supposed to have for dinner yesterday. So, I will defrost the ground beef I pre-cooked and will make tacos. At least the kids will enjoy dinner. Tom is going to the driving range after work. (seems that the golf season is slowly but surely making its way back).
You still here?
Sucker. If I sat here and typed for three hours non stop, would you sit and read it through to the end? Bet you would. No matter how boring it is. I am bored to the core. Or "sofa king bored" which is how I have decided to start referring to it as. Did that make sense?
Dun dun dun. Oh the suspense... I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat again. Dying to know what I'm going to write about next....
All that wait for nothing. I'm going to go for a bit. Who am I kidding? I'll probably be back in an hour to write a whole lot about a whole lot of nothing. [(and you'll be back to read it) (is this how the brackets are supposed to work?)] Probably not, but who's going to know (other than you) that I've misused them?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Exciting news - read while sitting.
Okay, so I lie every now and then. Feel free to stand up.
Holy cow. I had to stray from my routine this evening.
Got home from work shortly after five.
Noted the house wasn't as bad as I had anticipated it would be.
went into the kitchen and pulled out the corned beef I was going to cook for dinner.
Noted that it would have to simmer for TWO HOURS.
Ordered pizza - picked it up fifteen minutes later
ate dinner
spent the rest of my evening walking on eggshells because sugarbooger was in a horrid mood.
I told Brett he could stay up a half hour late (it is March break).
At 8:30 - Tom told Brett it was time for bed.
Brett advised Tom that I said he could stay up until 9.
Tom went to bed in a huff at 8:30??
Not sure what's got him in a tizzy, but man, was he GRUMPY!
I dropped Jade off in Niagara
Stopped to get gas on the way home. Price is back up to .83 / litre
Got home to a quiet house and am now typing this exciting update.
I wuz thinking how hard it wuld bee too rite wurds like they sownd. Not as eezee as it seems. Whut mayd mee think of this yew wunder? No clew. Try it if yew dair.
Forget that - I type slow enough when I'm not thinking of how to misspell words. But that doesn't help me with the writing of a post. Let me see... how can we jazz this up a little? I coulsd not correct andy of my spelling errorsa nd make this a post which witll tequire soem dechipering. How does that sound? I'd say it woudl be an "unscramble this mess" post, but I fear my fingers don't always hit the keys that wtheyr'es supposed to. Honest;ly, the keyborad is reallya giant smash pad for me.
Or - how about this?
uagaeoewGFKB;ZNSAJfpeglfkj8e;wa (this is what it looks like when you bang your forehead on the keyboard).
I have to paint. I was thinking about painting a big target (dart board sized) on the wall with a note above it that will read "BANG HEAD HERE." I haven't decided where I would put it though. I was thinking that if I put in the front hallway, anyone that comes over can make use of it. They will need it after a visit with me.
I am questioning why you are reading this. I would have given up on it ages ago. Why would you continue reading after someone admits to smashing their head on the keyboard?
Alright enough of that... And now for something completely different (Monty Python reference).
Ho hum. Up for another one of my famous stories? How bout it? Well, if you don't want to read it, you know how to exit my blog.... okay, here it goes. It's going to be a good one, I can feel the creativity flowing through my veins.
Hi Ho there - Kermit the Frog here from Sesame Street News. Well, let's be quiet because we are with the great composer Simon Says. Now we will sneak up and try to get an interview with him.
"Mary had a little red corvette, a little red corvette, a little red corvette, Mary had a little red corvette it's chrome as shiny as..... as.... as... OH DARN DARN DARN! I CAN'T DO IT, I JUST CAN'T!" (bangs his head on the piano).
Kermit the frog steps in. "Excuse me Simon Says, but what seems to be the problem?"
"The problem is you %$#W&%*& gum dish, I can't think of a word that rhymes with corvette, I'm out of drugs AND I think you're a stupid nosy piece of green slime! Now get the $#*&% out of here before I nail ya!"
"My my, aren't we irritable today? Tradition has it that I help you think of a rhyming word (that, by the way, never fails) and then you sing the song and it works and everyone is happy."
"Well then gum dish... what's this amazing word you've thought up?"
"It's morbid."
"MORBID!!?? THAT SUCKS! GET THE #$^% OUTTA HERE!"
(and the strung out composer chases poor Kermie out).
This concludes the broadcast. See you next time on Sesame Street. La la la la la la.
What did you think? Did you enjoy my story? Think I should make a career of it? I could be famous. The next JK Rowling. You could tell everyone you meet that you're my bff. People would want to hang out with you - just so they might get the opportunity to meet the author of such wonderful books. Yes, that's right, books (plural). My story will be so adored that there will be sequels. People will want to know how poor Kermie recovered from the traumatic verbal lashing inflicted upon him by the nasty and villainous composer, Simon Says.
I am unique you know - just like everyone else.
I think I need some sleep. Coping with silly thoughts (as you might have noticed). It will only get worse if the night progresses. So I bid you farewell. I shall chat with you tomorrow during my 8 hours of clock watching (broken up by the odd phone call, fax or what have you). Hope you are sleeping the sleep of a baby. Why this saying exists is beyond me. If I recall, babies wake up every two or three hours. So, really, I hope you are sleeping the sleep of a ... a.... rock.
~ ta ta~
Holy cow. I had to stray from my routine this evening.
Got home from work shortly after five.
Noted the house wasn't as bad as I had anticipated it would be.
went into the kitchen and pulled out the corned beef I was going to cook for dinner.
Noted that it would have to simmer for TWO HOURS.
Ordered pizza - picked it up fifteen minutes later
ate dinner
spent the rest of my evening walking on eggshells because sugarbooger was in a horrid mood.
I told Brett he could stay up a half hour late (it is March break).
At 8:30 - Tom told Brett it was time for bed.
Brett advised Tom that I said he could stay up until 9.
Tom went to bed in a huff at 8:30??
Not sure what's got him in a tizzy, but man, was he GRUMPY!
I dropped Jade off in Niagara
Stopped to get gas on the way home. Price is back up to .83 / litre
Got home to a quiet house and am now typing this exciting update.
I wuz thinking how hard it wuld bee too rite wurds like they sownd. Not as eezee as it seems. Whut mayd mee think of this yew wunder? No clew. Try it if yew dair.
Forget that - I type slow enough when I'm not thinking of how to misspell words. But that doesn't help me with the writing of a post. Let me see... how can we jazz this up a little? I coulsd not correct andy of my spelling errorsa nd make this a post which witll tequire soem dechipering. How does that sound? I'd say it woudl be an "unscramble this mess" post, but I fear my fingers don't always hit the keys that wtheyr'es supposed to. Honest;ly, the keyborad is reallya giant smash pad for me.
Or - how about this?
uagaeoewGFKB;ZNSAJfpeglfkj8e;wa (this is what it looks like when you bang your forehead on the keyboard).
I have to paint. I was thinking about painting a big target (dart board sized) on the wall with a note above it that will read "BANG HEAD HERE." I haven't decided where I would put it though. I was thinking that if I put in the front hallway, anyone that comes over can make use of it. They will need it after a visit with me.
I am questioning why you are reading this. I would have given up on it ages ago. Why would you continue reading after someone admits to smashing their head on the keyboard?
Alright enough of that... And now for something completely different (Monty Python reference).
Ho hum. Up for another one of my famous stories? How bout it? Well, if you don't want to read it, you know how to exit my blog.... okay, here it goes. It's going to be a good one, I can feel the creativity flowing through my veins.
Hi Ho there - Kermit the Frog here from Sesame Street News. Well, let's be quiet because we are with the great composer Simon Says. Now we will sneak up and try to get an interview with him.
"Mary had a little red corvette, a little red corvette, a little red corvette, Mary had a little red corvette it's chrome as shiny as..... as.... as... OH DARN DARN DARN! I CAN'T DO IT, I JUST CAN'T!" (bangs his head on the piano).
Kermit the frog steps in. "Excuse me Simon Says, but what seems to be the problem?"
"The problem is you %$#W&%*& gum dish, I can't think of a word that rhymes with corvette, I'm out of drugs AND I think you're a stupid nosy piece of green slime! Now get the $#*&% out of here before I nail ya!"
"My my, aren't we irritable today? Tradition has it that I help you think of a rhyming word (that, by the way, never fails) and then you sing the song and it works and everyone is happy."
"Well then gum dish... what's this amazing word you've thought up?"
"It's morbid."
"MORBID!!?? THAT SUCKS! GET THE #$^% OUTTA HERE!"
(and the strung out composer chases poor Kermie out).
This concludes the broadcast. See you next time on Sesame Street. La la la la la la.
What did you think? Did you enjoy my story? Think I should make a career of it? I could be famous. The next JK Rowling. You could tell everyone you meet that you're my bff. People would want to hang out with you - just so they might get the opportunity to meet the author of such wonderful books. Yes, that's right, books (plural). My story will be so adored that there will be sequels. People will want to know how poor Kermie recovered from the traumatic verbal lashing inflicted upon him by the nasty and villainous composer, Simon Says.
I am unique you know - just like everyone else.
I think I need some sleep. Coping with silly thoughts (as you might have noticed). It will only get worse if the night progresses. So I bid you farewell. I shall chat with you tomorrow during my 8 hours of clock watching (broken up by the odd phone call, fax or what have you). Hope you are sleeping the sleep of a baby. Why this saying exists is beyond me. If I recall, babies wake up every two or three hours. So, really, I hope you are sleeping the sleep of a ... a.... rock.
~ ta ta~
Time killing is a killer
I have an hour to kill. I am sofa king bored. I am exhausted because of it.
Wish I had something witty to say, but I fear I am experiencing a creative draught. I have nothing. Maybe I'll write about things that always make me chuckle when I think of them.
1) Many years ago, while in Parry Sound, we went to watch the bikes go by in the Thunder Run. I noticed someone walk by me wearing track pants with "Western" written across the bum (you know the ones I'm talking about - you see them all the time). I said to Al (my stalker's DH) "I'd like to get a pair of those." He didn't even pause. The quickest and funniest response I ever could have imagined... He said "Yes, and yours could say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"
Asshole!
2) My new wacky neighbor coming over to introduce herself. Ten minutes into the conversation she was telling me that she weighed her boobs. I knew right then and there that I was going to have to spend a lot of time trying to sound as though I wasn't home.
3) As horrid as this sounds, my Grandfather's funeral. I hadn't laughed so hard in AGES. Guess I should elaborate. I was out with a friend from work (Q) and her boyfriend (Billy). Billy's brother came along too. While at the bar, his brother was all over me even though I was doing my best to get away from him. He actually stuck his tongue in my ear and I lost it. I yelled over to Q - "would you get this fucking guy away from me?" I ended up leaving, thoroughly disgusted. I guess it was a month later, while at work, I had a conversation with Q that went like this:
Moe - I have to leave work early to go to a funeral.
Q - so does Billy's parents... his uncle died.
Q - where's the funeral?
Moe - In Oakville - on Lakeshore
Q - really? What was your Grandpa's name?
Moe - Steward, although everyone called him Slim.
Q - Get the fuck out
Moe - Huh?
Q - (killing herself laughing) - keep an eye out for people that look like .... they will be driving a .... I think you might be related to Billy which means... well, .... thank God you didn't take him up on his offer.
Anyway - condensed version: We saw a couple that looked like... and were driving a .....
I was with my sister, Wendy and when we saw them, we both started laughing so hard we were crying. My Mom came over to see if we were okay - thought we were severely upset. She said we were horrible when she found out we were laughing.
4) Wendy and I laughing through my other sister, Janice's wedding. Something went awry with the sound system and there was a loud BANG in the middle of their vows. Everyone jumped. Some people gave out a startled scream. Wendy and I burst into laughter and couldn't stop. We turned our backs to each other in an attempt to stop, but every time we turned to face the front we'd start up again.
5) Debbie kicking me out of her house for laughing at her for dropping the photo box full of the pictures she'd spent HOURS putting into order.
6) FR TEXAS LIZARD SAT IN THE FLESH. The name of the new bar that took over the location of The Naked Turtle. I thought that maybe it was the same owner, opening the bar under a new name. I was certain that this person had a naked reptile fetish. Until it was suggested that I might be misinterpreting the sign's message. I looked. I pondered. I kept looking. I kept pondering. Nope, I was not reading it wrong. After some laughter, it was suggested that these might be upcoming events and band names. FRIDAY - Texas Lizard. SATURDAY - In the Flesh. Duh. (Did I mention how much I hate stupid people? It's even worse when it's me that's being stupid!)
7) Watching Gwyneth's son get lippy with her... he was outside riding his bike. She had come to the front door and said "Bryan - time to come in for dinner." He promptly replied "NO." She demanded he obey, and finally said "I will count to three." He said "you can count to a hundred for all I care - I'M NOT COMING IN." I had to go into the house so he wouldn't see me laughing.
8) One of my nicknames when I was A LOT younger was piss tank. I went to Greg and Marie's and when I walked in the door, Gordon, their 4 year old greeted me with "HEY FISH TANK!"
9) Jade watching cartoons and singing the opening song for the Teenage Mutant Injure Turtles.
10) Debbie telling me about an experience she had had at McDonald's. Chris was in the playroom with Martin. A lady came up to Deb and said "is that your son?" After admitting ownership, the woman said "I thought you'd like to know that he is spitting on people." So, Deb sits Chris down and says a few words to him and states that he is going back into the room and that he was to apologize to the lady. So, she brings him back into the playroom and Chris walks up to the woman and said "Sorry.... BUTT-HEAD!"
Okay that is enough for now. Day is almost done. I have killed a 35 minutes or so. This post has served its purpose.
Wish I had something witty to say, but I fear I am experiencing a creative draught. I have nothing. Maybe I'll write about things that always make me chuckle when I think of them.
1) Many years ago, while in Parry Sound, we went to watch the bikes go by in the Thunder Run. I noticed someone walk by me wearing track pants with "Western" written across the bum (you know the ones I'm talking about - you see them all the time). I said to Al (my stalker's DH) "I'd like to get a pair of those." He didn't even pause. The quickest and funniest response I ever could have imagined... He said "Yes, and yours could say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!"
Asshole!
2) My new wacky neighbor coming over to introduce herself. Ten minutes into the conversation she was telling me that she weighed her boobs. I knew right then and there that I was going to have to spend a lot of time trying to sound as though I wasn't home.
3) As horrid as this sounds, my Grandfather's funeral. I hadn't laughed so hard in AGES. Guess I should elaborate. I was out with a friend from work (Q) and her boyfriend (Billy). Billy's brother came along too. While at the bar, his brother was all over me even though I was doing my best to get away from him. He actually stuck his tongue in my ear and I lost it. I yelled over to Q - "would you get this fucking guy away from me?" I ended up leaving, thoroughly disgusted. I guess it was a month later, while at work, I had a conversation with Q that went like this:
Moe - I have to leave work early to go to a funeral.
Q - so does Billy's parents... his uncle died.
Q - where's the funeral?
Moe - In Oakville - on Lakeshore
Q - really? What was your Grandpa's name?
Moe - Steward, although everyone called him Slim.
Q - Get the fuck out
Moe - Huh?
Q - (killing herself laughing) - keep an eye out for people that look like .... they will be driving a .... I think you might be related to Billy which means... well, .... thank God you didn't take him up on his offer.
Anyway - condensed version: We saw a couple that looked like... and were driving a .....
I was with my sister, Wendy and when we saw them, we both started laughing so hard we were crying. My Mom came over to see if we were okay - thought we were severely upset. She said we were horrible when she found out we were laughing.
4) Wendy and I laughing through my other sister, Janice's wedding. Something went awry with the sound system and there was a loud BANG in the middle of their vows. Everyone jumped. Some people gave out a startled scream. Wendy and I burst into laughter and couldn't stop. We turned our backs to each other in an attempt to stop, but every time we turned to face the front we'd start up again.
5) Debbie kicking me out of her house for laughing at her for dropping the photo box full of the pictures she'd spent HOURS putting into order.
6) FR TEXAS LIZARD SAT IN THE FLESH. The name of the new bar that took over the location of The Naked Turtle. I thought that maybe it was the same owner, opening the bar under a new name. I was certain that this person had a naked reptile fetish. Until it was suggested that I might be misinterpreting the sign's message. I looked. I pondered. I kept looking. I kept pondering. Nope, I was not reading it wrong. After some laughter, it was suggested that these might be upcoming events and band names. FRIDAY - Texas Lizard. SATURDAY - In the Flesh. Duh. (Did I mention how much I hate stupid people? It's even worse when it's me that's being stupid!)
7) Watching Gwyneth's son get lippy with her... he was outside riding his bike. She had come to the front door and said "Bryan - time to come in for dinner." He promptly replied "NO." She demanded he obey, and finally said "I will count to three." He said "you can count to a hundred for all I care - I'M NOT COMING IN." I had to go into the house so he wouldn't see me laughing.
8) One of my nicknames when I was A LOT younger was piss tank. I went to Greg and Marie's and when I walked in the door, Gordon, their 4 year old greeted me with "HEY FISH TANK!"
9) Jade watching cartoons and singing the opening song for the Teenage Mutant Injure Turtles.
10) Debbie telling me about an experience she had had at McDonald's. Chris was in the playroom with Martin. A lady came up to Deb and said "is that your son?" After admitting ownership, the woman said "I thought you'd like to know that he is spitting on people." So, Deb sits Chris down and says a few words to him and states that he is going back into the room and that he was to apologize to the lady. So, she brings him back into the playroom and Chris walks up to the woman and said "Sorry.... BUTT-HEAD!"
Okay that is enough for now. Day is almost done. I have killed a 35 minutes or so. This post has served its purpose.
The never ending cycle I like to call my life.
HoHum.
A new week has begun in the wonderful world of Moe. I am at work, taking a break from trying to look busy. It's not as easy as you would think! I should start working slower, but when you do the same thing day in and day out, you're bound to get faster (and good) at what you do.
So, what is my week looking like so far you ask? (I doubt that you did, but I am bursting to tell you all about the exciting things I've got to look forward to this week!)
Ready? No, me either, but here it goes anyway:
Today
Work
go home
stare in utter amazement at how much of a mess the kids have made in one day
tell the kids to do a ten second tidy
make dinner
eat dinner
do the dishes
finish the laundry
play a game with the rodents
figure out the best way to do the craft I have been working on
drive Jaders back to NOTL
return home
watch the movie "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas"
go to bed.
Tuesday:
Wake up
go to work
post something boring on my blog
do some work
poke around on some blogs
go home
stare in amazement at how much of a mess the kids have made in one day
tell the kids to do a ten second tidy
make dinner
eat dinner
do the dishes
work on a crafting project
go to bed.
Wednesday:
Wake up
go to work
post something boring on my blog
do some work
poke around on some blogs
go home
stare in anger at how much of a mess the kids have made in one day
tell the kids to do a ten second tidy.
make dinner
eat dinner
do the dishes
watch the boob tube
go to bowling
stop by my stalker's house to bore the crap out of her for a while.
go home
go to bed
and so on, and so on...
Oh, I suppose I should note that there will be other meals and trips to the bathroom in there, oh, and on Friday morning I'll take the garbage to the curb, but other than that, it's not likely I'll stray too far off the routine I've described. Life on the edge.
There is nothing exciting planned until Friday night when I go to Deb's for a girl's night.
I am going to end this here and attempt to figure out what I've done with my social life. Well, it really won't be that hard. I guess you're bound to have little to no social life when you find most people bug the crap out of you.
I don't feel like writing anymore so I won't.
A new week has begun in the wonderful world of Moe. I am at work, taking a break from trying to look busy. It's not as easy as you would think! I should start working slower, but when you do the same thing day in and day out, you're bound to get faster (and good) at what you do.
So, what is my week looking like so far you ask? (I doubt that you did, but I am bursting to tell you all about the exciting things I've got to look forward to this week!)
Ready? No, me either, but here it goes anyway:
Today
Work
go home
stare in utter amazement at how much of a mess the kids have made in one day
tell the kids to do a ten second tidy
make dinner
eat dinner
do the dishes
finish the laundry
play a game with the rodents
figure out the best way to do the craft I have been working on
drive Jaders back to NOTL
return home
watch the movie "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas"
go to bed.
Tuesday:
Wake up
go to work
post something boring on my blog
do some work
poke around on some blogs
go home
stare in amazement at how much of a mess the kids have made in one day
tell the kids to do a ten second tidy
make dinner
eat dinner
do the dishes
work on a crafting project
go to bed.
Wednesday:
Wake up
go to work
post something boring on my blog
do some work
poke around on some blogs
go home
stare in anger at how much of a mess the kids have made in one day
tell the kids to do a ten second tidy.
make dinner
eat dinner
do the dishes
watch the boob tube
go to bowling
stop by my stalker's house to bore the crap out of her for a while.
go home
go to bed
and so on, and so on...
Oh, I suppose I should note that there will be other meals and trips to the bathroom in there, oh, and on Friday morning I'll take the garbage to the curb, but other than that, it's not likely I'll stray too far off the routine I've described. Life on the edge.
There is nothing exciting planned until Friday night when I go to Deb's for a girl's night.
I am going to end this here and attempt to figure out what I've done with my social life. Well, it really won't be that hard. I guess you're bound to have little to no social life when you find most people bug the crap out of you.
I don't feel like writing anymore so I won't.
Now Taking Orders....
Brett wanted nothing for Christmas except an Easy Bake Oven. Seems there's nothing more appetizing than a bite sized cake cooked under a light bulb. I found this picture while cleaning out the computer room on Saturday. I just love this pic. He was SO HAPPY! So, like I said to my stalker, if Andy is still set on opening a bakery....
Sunday, March 15, 2009
BORING ALERT. Do not waste your time reading this.
I started the laundry early this afternoon, however I decided that I should take advantage of the gorgeous weather and clean up the pond instead. That was a four hour job. Glad it's done though. It would have taken less time, but the tap for the garden hose went into self destruct mode and when Tom turned it on in the basement, it started pouring down on him. So, off to Home Depot he went to get some parts, and then he had to fix it. The tap on the other side of the house is doing the same thing, but it's buried in a corner between a wall and the boiler. We can't get to it without cutting a hole in the closet wall, so we've be doing without for the past year.
Exciting stuff. It was a childless weekend - Tom played golf on Friday... won't be long before they will be out every weekend (paying to walk on someone else's grass). Saturday morning, we went for breakfast and I spent the remainder of my day cleaning the computer room. Saturday night Tom went out to play poker and I went out with Marie. Sunday morning we went for breakfast at the Bedrock Bistro. We used a gift certificate he won at a stag and doe. It was good, but the eggs were not to my liking. I asked for over easy but they cheated and cooked them in water in a covered pan. They were slimy like poached eggs. There was no "over" involved. Everything else was terrific.
On our way home, we stopped at Marks Work Warehouse and I bought a really nice sun dress using the gift card Tim and Nancy gave me for my birthday. Worked out perfect as it was a $50 card plus I had a $10 coupon to use towards a purchase of $50 or more. The dress was $59.99.
We left there and headed home where I threw in a load of laundry. Tom was watching a hockey game so I went outside and started playing with the pond as described earlier. We had dinner, watched golf, and then went to pick up the boys. Came home, Brett went to Joel's house to play, Cole went to Jordan's. Tom watched tv. I had a two hour nap. I woke up in time to see Brett off to bed and then I headed to the basement to restart the laundry. Tom went to bed. Cole is sleeping over at Jordan's. Jade is in the basement reading a book. I am here, proving that I have a very boring life.
So, I will end this pathetic excuse for a post. I will start another one in a few minutes after I fold a load out of the dryer that should be done within a few minutes. It will be more entertaining. I promise.
Exciting stuff. It was a childless weekend - Tom played golf on Friday... won't be long before they will be out every weekend (paying to walk on someone else's grass). Saturday morning, we went for breakfast and I spent the remainder of my day cleaning the computer room. Saturday night Tom went out to play poker and I went out with Marie. Sunday morning we went for breakfast at the Bedrock Bistro. We used a gift certificate he won at a stag and doe. It was good, but the eggs were not to my liking. I asked for over easy but they cheated and cooked them in water in a covered pan. They were slimy like poached eggs. There was no "over" involved. Everything else was terrific.
On our way home, we stopped at Marks Work Warehouse and I bought a really nice sun dress using the gift card Tim and Nancy gave me for my birthday. Worked out perfect as it was a $50 card plus I had a $10 coupon to use towards a purchase of $50 or more. The dress was $59.99.
We left there and headed home where I threw in a load of laundry. Tom was watching a hockey game so I went outside and started playing with the pond as described earlier. We had dinner, watched golf, and then went to pick up the boys. Came home, Brett went to Joel's house to play, Cole went to Jordan's. Tom watched tv. I had a two hour nap. I woke up in time to see Brett off to bed and then I headed to the basement to restart the laundry. Tom went to bed. Cole is sleeping over at Jordan's. Jade is in the basement reading a book. I am here, proving that I have a very boring life.
So, I will end this pathetic excuse for a post. I will start another one in a few minutes after I fold a load out of the dryer that should be done within a few minutes. It will be more entertaining. I promise.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained
Well stalker - what do you think? This is the first full sized one I've made. Not sure if I need to break up the orange with a white or yellow border, but I'm still pleased with the results. Took me an hour, but I had to make adjustments as I went along. I have decided to give my plan a try.
Hockey Tickets are expensive in TO!
Went to the game last night to see Paul play. Holy cow - an expensive night out. Four tickets at a cost of $781.20 - and that's just to see the game. $25 for parking and food and drinks at extreme prices ($13 for a bottle of beer).
Well worth it though. Paul got an unassisted goal (the fourth and final of the game). We were getting the evil eye for rooting for the visiting team. It was great!
After the game, we went down to the locker room - didn't actually get to go in though as there were far too many of his friends and family there to see him so we were herded into the stands to wait for him to come out.
Well worth it though. Paul got an unassisted goal (the fourth and final of the game). We were getting the evil eye for rooting for the visiting team. It was great!
After the game, we went down to the locker room - didn't actually get to go in though as there were far too many of his friends and family there to see him so we were herded into the stands to wait for him to come out.
There are a couple autographs on my tickets - the one in black is Paul Szczechura #38 and the one on the right in blue is Steven Stamkos #91.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Rain + dark + street lights = guess which lane you're in
I just went to Horton's to get a brown cup. It is raining outside again. Why I felt the need to say outside baffled me too, but figured I'd leave it there to show that I do have some faults. It makes as much sense as ordering at the drive through and stating the fact that "it's to go."
Anyway, I was headed somewhere with this. Ahh. The rain. Seeing that it's after midnight, it's pretty dark out there. I was driving home and realized that when it's dark and raining, I cannot see the lines on the road for the glare of the street lights. My eyesight keeps getting worse.
I have to use a jewellers eye to read blueprints that customers send me. I often swear I'm seeing people running across an eight lane highway. Every phone book I look at is double printed. So are newspapers.
Tom knows I am night blind. He can see perfectly when the lights go out. He laughs at me for walking around with my hands out in front of me, feeling for a wall or something to guide me to wherever it is I am heading. One night he was up in bed and I followed a short while later. I hadn't turned on the light - decided to climb the stairs in the dark therefore, I was counting. He asked me what I was doing. I told him I was counting the stairs so I didn't take an extra step. I explained that it's actually quite funny if going up, but I nearly broke my ankle once on the way down. He thought I was insane. Since that night, I have learned NEVER to go ahead of him on the stairs when it's dark out. I flick the light on and start going up. He will wait until I'm halfway up and will shut the lights off, knowing I'm not counting because the light was on. Bastard! Think he just likes to see me take the extra step at the top and laugh at me when I piddle.
Yes - my bladder is failing me as well.
Well, my coffee is just about finished and I'm feeling tired, so I will end this and head off to bed. There was going to be a point to this message but I am afraid to admit that I don't know what it was. My memory is failing me as well. I am falling apart. I need to get some sleep. Talk to you in the morning!
Anyway, I was headed somewhere with this. Ahh. The rain. Seeing that it's after midnight, it's pretty dark out there. I was driving home and realized that when it's dark and raining, I cannot see the lines on the road for the glare of the street lights. My eyesight keeps getting worse.
I have to use a jewellers eye to read blueprints that customers send me. I often swear I'm seeing people running across an eight lane highway. Every phone book I look at is double printed. So are newspapers.
Tom knows I am night blind. He can see perfectly when the lights go out. He laughs at me for walking around with my hands out in front of me, feeling for a wall or something to guide me to wherever it is I am heading. One night he was up in bed and I followed a short while later. I hadn't turned on the light - decided to climb the stairs in the dark therefore, I was counting. He asked me what I was doing. I told him I was counting the stairs so I didn't take an extra step. I explained that it's actually quite funny if going up, but I nearly broke my ankle once on the way down. He thought I was insane. Since that night, I have learned NEVER to go ahead of him on the stairs when it's dark out. I flick the light on and start going up. He will wait until I'm halfway up and will shut the lights off, knowing I'm not counting because the light was on. Bastard! Think he just likes to see me take the extra step at the top and laugh at me when I piddle.
Yes - my bladder is failing me as well.
Well, my coffee is just about finished and I'm feeling tired, so I will end this and head off to bed. There was going to be a point to this message but I am afraid to admit that I don't know what it was. My memory is failing me as well. I am falling apart. I need to get some sleep. Talk to you in the morning!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Moe. Confounded. Again.
One final post for this fine afternoon. I just had to ask... am I daft? Does this question make any sense whatsoever? It's one of the random questions you can answer in your profile setup....
If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
I am at a loss. Is there something missing - or is it just me? If it makes sense to you, please enlighten me. I will likely lose sleep over this one.
Your time and help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
The twit
If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
I am at a loss. Is there something missing - or is it just me? If it makes sense to you, please enlighten me. I will likely lose sleep over this one.
Your time and help would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
The twit
With an empty bladder, I figured out how to link
Once again, I have amazed myself with my blogging abilities. I can now link things to my posts. Are you impressed? In awe? Astonished? Stupefied?
No? Then screw off. (remember that phrase? - was about the same time "Gag me with a spoon" was going around).
Now I'm thinking of the show Square Pegs with Sarah Jessica Parker. Don't ask me how the cogs in the wheel brought this to the surface. I don't have an answer for you. No clue.
Now I'm thinking of the song by My Chemical Romance... "Teenagers" because of the line "another cog in the murder machine."
And, in case your wondering where my mind has wandered off to now, well, here it is. I am thinking about a song by The Spoons, "Romantic Traffic." Well, I guess it's not always a mystery why one thought leads to another, but there are times when even I am left shaking my head in question.
There was a brief pause there. Oh, and another one. Someone came in to say "HELLO" but neglected to bring me a coffee. The nerve of her.
Well, I should go - just wanted to say "I FIGURED IT OUT! - I AM AWESOME!"
That being said, I am leaving.
No? Then screw off. (remember that phrase? - was about the same time "Gag me with a spoon" was going around).
Now I'm thinking of the show Square Pegs with Sarah Jessica Parker. Don't ask me how the cogs in the wheel brought this to the surface. I don't have an answer for you. No clue.
Now I'm thinking of the song by My Chemical Romance... "Teenagers" because of the line "another cog in the murder machine."
And, in case your wondering where my mind has wandered off to now, well, here it is. I am thinking about a song by The Spoons, "Romantic Traffic." Well, I guess it's not always a mystery why one thought leads to another, but there are times when even I am left shaking my head in question.
There was a brief pause there. Oh, and another one. Someone came in to say "HELLO" but neglected to bring me a coffee. The nerve of her.
Well, I should go - just wanted to say "I FIGURED IT OUT! - I AM AWESOME!"
That being said, I am leaving.
I think Erma Bombeck is my mother
I have to clean my house tonight. My Mom is coming over to watch child number 2 and 3 while we're at the hockey game on Thursday. Tomorrow is bowling night, so I won't be able to do it then. Actually, what in the Hell am I worried about? This woman raised me. I learned all my bad habits from her. About a month ago while my kids were gone for the weekend, my sugarbooger was out doing his own thing, and my stalker was MIA, I went to see my Mom and Dad. While there, my Aunt Susan called to say that she and Uncle Red were going to pop out to the new Walmart Superstore and then they were heading over for a visit. There are two pieces of information needed to make sense of what was about to happen.
1) My Aunt Susan is a neat freak - bordering on Martha Stewart.
2) My mom is not a neat freak - bordering on Erma Bombeck.
So, the lovely conversation we were having came to an abrupt halt and before I knew it, I was holding a rag and a can of pledge. I do not like to do this at my own house - and here I was, feeling like I was nine years old again, listening to my mother criticize my dusting techniques. YaddaYaddaYadda - with the livingroom dusted and having moved all the piles (papers, books, clothing, and other crap that had accumulated over the span of a month) up into the spare bedroom, I was just about to drag the vacuum around when she told me to stop and put it away. Her reason? Because they would know that she JUST cleaned. Not like they wouldn't know... I made a point of telling them when they got there!
I digress.
I have decided that I DON'T have to clean my house tonight. It's really not that bad anyway.. as long as you keep your eyes closed! No, really, I just need to do a quick dust and vacuum. I just hope to God she doesn't lift the cushions off the couch for any reason. OMG. I was under there yesterday in my search for my cuticle nippers that mysteriously disappeared after Jade's return. I didn't find them, but my oh my... I was unaware of how much stuff you can hide under the cushions of a couch! There was a whack of cat hair, dust, crumbs, cereal, elastics, balls, Hot Wheels, lego, popcorn, pretzels, a bottle of hand cream, Christmas gift tags, psp games, ds games, water bottle caps, and an array of candy wrappers from (I hate to say it) Halloween, Christmas and VD day. Is this abnormal?
I did remove all the larger objects, but instead of pulling out the vacuum, I brushed as much of the crumbs and hair into the corners as I could, and then put the cushions back on.
Hey - I have come a long way from when I first moved out on my own. I hate hand washing dishes. HATE. I lived in an apartment and didn't have a dishwasher. I always had a sink full of water with dishes "soaking." That was my excuse if people came over unannounced. If I had enough warning, I would empty the sink and hide all the dishes in the oven and put a towel over the window so no one would see them. This was a fine alternative to actually washing the dishes (or so I thought). It backfired on my one day after preheating the oven for dinner - neglecting to remove the dishes first. Took me a minute to figure out why I was smelling burning plastic.
Well, I have revealed a little more of myself than I ever wished to here. Mind you, like I said, I have come a long way. My kitchen is clean, my dishes are done and put away, and my sink is washed and dried every night before I go to bed (as per my stalker's flylady advise). Now I guess my least favorite household chore would be a toss up between vacuuming under the couch cushions and cleaning the litter box. Or, cleaning vomit at unGodly hours of the night/morning. I will add a link to an earlier post when I have the ability and time to do so.
Right now, I have to go pee. Aren't you glad I told you that? With this knowledge, I am confident that you will be able to live your life to its fullest.
I have to go. Enough babble. A happy Tuesday to ya!
1) My Aunt Susan is a neat freak - bordering on Martha Stewart.
2) My mom is not a neat freak - bordering on Erma Bombeck.
So, the lovely conversation we were having came to an abrupt halt and before I knew it, I was holding a rag and a can of pledge. I do not like to do this at my own house - and here I was, feeling like I was nine years old again, listening to my mother criticize my dusting techniques. YaddaYaddaYadda - with the livingroom dusted and having moved all the piles (papers, books, clothing, and other crap that had accumulated over the span of a month) up into the spare bedroom, I was just about to drag the vacuum around when she told me to stop and put it away. Her reason? Because they would know that she JUST cleaned. Not like they wouldn't know... I made a point of telling them when they got there!
I digress.
I have decided that I DON'T have to clean my house tonight. It's really not that bad anyway.. as long as you keep your eyes closed! No, really, I just need to do a quick dust and vacuum. I just hope to God she doesn't lift the cushions off the couch for any reason. OMG. I was under there yesterday in my search for my cuticle nippers that mysteriously disappeared after Jade's return. I didn't find them, but my oh my... I was unaware of how much stuff you can hide under the cushions of a couch! There was a whack of cat hair, dust, crumbs, cereal, elastics, balls, Hot Wheels, lego, popcorn, pretzels, a bottle of hand cream, Christmas gift tags, psp games, ds games, water bottle caps, and an array of candy wrappers from (I hate to say it) Halloween, Christmas and VD day. Is this abnormal?
I did remove all the larger objects, but instead of pulling out the vacuum, I brushed as much of the crumbs and hair into the corners as I could, and then put the cushions back on.
Hey - I have come a long way from when I first moved out on my own. I hate hand washing dishes. HATE. I lived in an apartment and didn't have a dishwasher. I always had a sink full of water with dishes "soaking." That was my excuse if people came over unannounced. If I had enough warning, I would empty the sink and hide all the dishes in the oven and put a towel over the window so no one would see them. This was a fine alternative to actually washing the dishes (or so I thought). It backfired on my one day after preheating the oven for dinner - neglecting to remove the dishes first. Took me a minute to figure out why I was smelling burning plastic.
Well, I have revealed a little more of myself than I ever wished to here. Mind you, like I said, I have come a long way. My kitchen is clean, my dishes are done and put away, and my sink is washed and dried every night before I go to bed (as per my stalker's flylady advise). Now I guess my least favorite household chore would be a toss up between vacuuming under the couch cushions and cleaning the litter box. Or, cleaning vomit at unGodly hours of the night/morning. I will add a link to an earlier post when I have the ability and time to do so.
Right now, I have to go pee. Aren't you glad I told you that? With this knowledge, I am confident that you will be able to live your life to its fullest.
I have to go. Enough babble. A happy Tuesday to ya!
Monday, March 9, 2009
How can something that cute smell that bad?
Alright - here's a quote from my last post which I believe was Thursday...
"Everyone else is in bed (except for Jade who is still not home @ 12:30am). She should be home and thumping around any time now."
I was so tired and just wanted to go to bed. So, I decided I'd fly out to Hortons to grab a coffee while I waited for the Princess to arrive. An hour went by. No Jade. Two hours went by. No Jade. So, I decided I'd go check her room to see if she had snuck in while I was out grabbing coffee. Nope. No Jade. Then I see it. A note. While I was out getting my coffee, she had come home to get her stuff and left a note saying that she was spending the night at Katrinas and that they were heading back to school on Saturday. I sat up and waited for nothing.
Then - my considerate Princess arrived home Monday morning at 12:30 (as I was heading out to the grocery store) looking for a ride back to her place. Guess they decided to stay in Burlington instead of going back to Niagara as planned.
Did I mention it was pouring rain? Dagnabbit - frickem frackem. I was not impressed. So - 45 minutes there, 45 minutes back. And, I still had to do my groceries. There was absolutely nothing to eat in the house. No lunch meats. No bread. No snacks. No drinks. NOTHING. So, my night continues as I head out to Sobey's.
Did I mention it was pouring rain?
Holy f*&#. The front path was under 2" of water. What used to be grass surrounding the path had turned into a giant mud puddle - 2" deep as well. I had to make four trips through the swamp carrying groceries. It was during my first haul up to the front door that I realized I have holes in my shoes. Not nice. It was 3:15 in the morning and I still had to put the groceries away (with muddy-wet socks on).
Then my spirits lifted... while laying on the couch wondering how I was going to function on 3½ hours sleep, I saw an infomercial for the Cricut Expression die cutter thing. I was mesmerized. Then after only 2½ hours sleep, I woke up, turned the computer on and looked online to see how much they are. Needless to say, I will be saving for a few months so I can purchase one. They have them here at Michael's for $499 - however I was advised that they do go one sale now and again. So I will save while waiting for a sale.
My birthday is in a couple weeks, which means I have to take the Rendezvous in for a drive clean and I have to buy stickers for the plates. Had to get new photo id last year, so that at least saves me the extra $90 or whatever the Hell they charge for that. Money money money.
Thursday we're going to the Leaf's game to watch Daryl's friend and old teammate who plays for Tampa Bay Lightning. More money.
Friday, Tom is going to play simulated golf. More money.
Saturday, Tom is going to play poker with the usual suspects. At least he wins money (more often than not). I will be the DD again.
OMG - I have to end this. One of the cats just came in and left a nice steamy pile in the litter box sitting in the corner. Must have been Bonnie or Clyde. They for some reason will not cover their poop. Outta here - GAG!
"Everyone else is in bed (except for Jade who is still not home @ 12:30am). She should be home and thumping around any time now."
I was so tired and just wanted to go to bed. So, I decided I'd fly out to Hortons to grab a coffee while I waited for the Princess to arrive. An hour went by. No Jade. Two hours went by. No Jade. So, I decided I'd go check her room to see if she had snuck in while I was out grabbing coffee. Nope. No Jade. Then I see it. A note. While I was out getting my coffee, she had come home to get her stuff and left a note saying that she was spending the night at Katrinas and that they were heading back to school on Saturday. I sat up and waited for nothing.
Then - my considerate Princess arrived home Monday morning at 12:30 (as I was heading out to the grocery store) looking for a ride back to her place. Guess they decided to stay in Burlington instead of going back to Niagara as planned.
Did I mention it was pouring rain? Dagnabbit - frickem frackem. I was not impressed. So - 45 minutes there, 45 minutes back. And, I still had to do my groceries. There was absolutely nothing to eat in the house. No lunch meats. No bread. No snacks. No drinks. NOTHING. So, my night continues as I head out to Sobey's.
Did I mention it was pouring rain?
Holy f*&#. The front path was under 2" of water. What used to be grass surrounding the path had turned into a giant mud puddle - 2" deep as well. I had to make four trips through the swamp carrying groceries. It was during my first haul up to the front door that I realized I have holes in my shoes. Not nice. It was 3:15 in the morning and I still had to put the groceries away (with muddy-wet socks on).
Then my spirits lifted... while laying on the couch wondering how I was going to function on 3½ hours sleep, I saw an infomercial for the Cricut Expression die cutter thing. I was mesmerized. Then after only 2½ hours sleep, I woke up, turned the computer on and looked online to see how much they are. Needless to say, I will be saving for a few months so I can purchase one. They have them here at Michael's for $499 - however I was advised that they do go one sale now and again. So I will save while waiting for a sale.
My birthday is in a couple weeks, which means I have to take the Rendezvous in for a drive clean and I have to buy stickers for the plates. Had to get new photo id last year, so that at least saves me the extra $90 or whatever the Hell they charge for that. Money money money.
Thursday we're going to the Leaf's game to watch Daryl's friend and old teammate who plays for Tampa Bay Lightning. More money.
Friday, Tom is going to play simulated golf. More money.
Saturday, Tom is going to play poker with the usual suspects. At least he wins money (more often than not). I will be the DD again.
OMG - I have to end this. One of the cats just came in and left a nice steamy pile in the litter box sitting in the corner. Must have been Bonnie or Clyde. They for some reason will not cover their poop. Outta here - GAG!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I WAS GOING TO EAT THAT!
Ahh - a two hour work day tomorrow. Gotta love Fridays!
Tom and I are off for our weekend getaway. Well, it's only one night and I had to find a sitter because the plans for a childless weekend backfired. Still going to enjoy the time alone doing something other than watching golf or whatever other sport might be on the boob tube.
Daryl had another game tonight. They won, 6-5. He got an assist for the first goal of the game and scored the final two goals in the third period - both of which were shorthanded. Way to go Daryl!! When he was playing in Texas, there was a live feed that Tom could watch over the Internet free of charge - now that he's back with the Cyclones, you have to pay to watch online. So, poor Tom just keeps going to pointstreak to see what's happening.
So anyway - I'm sure you could care less as I know you hate hockey - it's the only sport I enjoy watching.... next topic. (not that I have one lined up and ready to go).
I just went to Sobeys and bought 3 huge boxes of Reese Puffs cereal because it's on sale for $3.99 - regularly $7.49 or $7.99. I have to go back because I was chatting with the guy behind me in line and he had 3 blocks of Cracker Barrel cheese - not the large sticks, the BLOCKS! They were on for $5.99. We eat a lot of cheese. I swear, Brett would live on it if I let him.
I remember one morning, he came up to my room where I was sound asleep and asked if he could have some cheese. I said yes... however I was thinking a slice of the Kraft Singles. When I came downstairs a few minutes later, I found him at the table, eating a 500g package of cheese like it was a chocolate bar. Oh - Jade caught him eating bologna one day... took the whole stack out of the package and bit the whole pile. Weird kid.
Brett asked me the other day what my favorite smell was. I said there were lots of scents that I really love, but said that if I had to pick one, it would probably be fresh baked bread. He said his was the smell of grilled cheese. It's his favorite food. Unlike the embarrassing conversation I had with Cole's Kindergarten teacher at a parent interview. Seems they were talking about nutrition and the teacher went from child to child, asking what they're favorite thing to eat was. She said she got a wide range of foods - pizza, french fries, spaghetti, and so on until she got to Cole - who told her he liked to eat boogers. lol - I was so proud.
Another story that should be sent out for anyone to see involves Cole, the booger eater again. He was 4 or so. I can't remember what age exactly, but he was young. He and Jade had swimming lessons, but he had broken his arm while trying to slide down the banister (obviously he failed - miserably) so he had to sit and watch with me. There were quite a few other parents there watching too. I happened to look to my right and saw a lady looking past me at Cole with a disgusted look on her face. I turned my head to the left, and saw Cole, inspecting a huge booger on the end of his finger. I didn't have a Kleenex, so I tapped the back of his hand, figuring that it would drop to the floor and that would bring a quiet end to the situation. I figured wrong. He jumped back, his eyes frantically scanning the floor, all the while, yelling at the top of his lungs "HEY - I WAS GOING TO EAT THAT!" I am pretty sure that he has outgrown this. If he hasn't he's learned to do it in private. Thank God!
Hmm. I am eating a box of Crunch'n Munch as I type this. I happened to set the box down with the nutritional values facing me. I eat the entire box, any time I open one. I am shocked to say that 40g contains 190 calories, 7g of fat, 16g of sugar and only 2g of fibre. I slowly turn the box to see how much is in there... 200g! OMG! That explains why my pants have been getting shorter. They're not shrinking, my ass is just getting bigger! What's that? Have I stopped eating it? No. Something about this stuff. I can't control myself. It's got popcorn, "buttery toffee" and peanuts. It's sweet, salty and crunchy. YUM YUM!
I am super bored - does it show? Everyone else is in bed (except for Jade who is still not home @ 12:30am). She should be home and thumping around any time now.
I could sit here and type about absolutely nothing for hours. You've probably already noticed that. However, I should probably go break down the five thousand boxes that have been piling up in the sun room for the past couple months. I have two large boxes full of broken down boxes that have to be tied and brought out for recycling. I have no excuse for not getting this done seeing that the snow that was blocking the back gate has melted (what - three weeks ago?)
So I will bid you farewell, and hope that you are snug and warm in your bed. I know you weren't feeling so great this morning - hope tomorrow is a better day for you.... talk to you then!
Tom and I are off for our weekend getaway. Well, it's only one night and I had to find a sitter because the plans for a childless weekend backfired. Still going to enjoy the time alone doing something other than watching golf or whatever other sport might be on the boob tube.
Daryl had another game tonight. They won, 6-5. He got an assist for the first goal of the game and scored the final two goals in the third period - both of which were shorthanded. Way to go Daryl!! When he was playing in Texas, there was a live feed that Tom could watch over the Internet free of charge - now that he's back with the Cyclones, you have to pay to watch online. So, poor Tom just keeps going to pointstreak to see what's happening.
So anyway - I'm sure you could care less as I know you hate hockey - it's the only sport I enjoy watching.... next topic. (not that I have one lined up and ready to go).
I just went to Sobeys and bought 3 huge boxes of Reese Puffs cereal because it's on sale for $3.99 - regularly $7.49 or $7.99. I have to go back because I was chatting with the guy behind me in line and he had 3 blocks of Cracker Barrel cheese - not the large sticks, the BLOCKS! They were on for $5.99. We eat a lot of cheese. I swear, Brett would live on it if I let him.
I remember one morning, he came up to my room where I was sound asleep and asked if he could have some cheese. I said yes... however I was thinking a slice of the Kraft Singles. When I came downstairs a few minutes later, I found him at the table, eating a 500g package of cheese like it was a chocolate bar. Oh - Jade caught him eating bologna one day... took the whole stack out of the package and bit the whole pile. Weird kid.
Brett asked me the other day what my favorite smell was. I said there were lots of scents that I really love, but said that if I had to pick one, it would probably be fresh baked bread. He said his was the smell of grilled cheese. It's his favorite food. Unlike the embarrassing conversation I had with Cole's Kindergarten teacher at a parent interview. Seems they were talking about nutrition and the teacher went from child to child, asking what they're favorite thing to eat was. She said she got a wide range of foods - pizza, french fries, spaghetti, and so on until she got to Cole - who told her he liked to eat boogers. lol - I was so proud.
Another story that should be sent out for anyone to see involves Cole, the booger eater again. He was 4 or so. I can't remember what age exactly, but he was young. He and Jade had swimming lessons, but he had broken his arm while trying to slide down the banister (obviously he failed - miserably) so he had to sit and watch with me. There were quite a few other parents there watching too. I happened to look to my right and saw a lady looking past me at Cole with a disgusted look on her face. I turned my head to the left, and saw Cole, inspecting a huge booger on the end of his finger. I didn't have a Kleenex, so I tapped the back of his hand, figuring that it would drop to the floor and that would bring a quiet end to the situation. I figured wrong. He jumped back, his eyes frantically scanning the floor, all the while, yelling at the top of his lungs "HEY - I WAS GOING TO EAT THAT!" I am pretty sure that he has outgrown this. If he hasn't he's learned to do it in private. Thank God!
Hmm. I am eating a box of Crunch'n Munch as I type this. I happened to set the box down with the nutritional values facing me. I eat the entire box, any time I open one. I am shocked to say that 40g contains 190 calories, 7g of fat, 16g of sugar and only 2g of fibre. I slowly turn the box to see how much is in there... 200g! OMG! That explains why my pants have been getting shorter. They're not shrinking, my ass is just getting bigger! What's that? Have I stopped eating it? No. Something about this stuff. I can't control myself. It's got popcorn, "buttery toffee" and peanuts. It's sweet, salty and crunchy. YUM YUM!
I am super bored - does it show? Everyone else is in bed (except for Jade who is still not home @ 12:30am). She should be home and thumping around any time now.
I could sit here and type about absolutely nothing for hours. You've probably already noticed that. However, I should probably go break down the five thousand boxes that have been piling up in the sun room for the past couple months. I have two large boxes full of broken down boxes that have to be tied and brought out for recycling. I have no excuse for not getting this done seeing that the snow that was blocking the back gate has melted (what - three weeks ago?)
So I will bid you farewell, and hope that you are snug and warm in your bed. I know you weren't feeling so great this morning - hope tomorrow is a better day for you.... talk to you then!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Tell me oh me oh my, wasn't that a party?
I have the Irish Rovers stuck in my head thanks to Alex. It started off because he was singing the Gambler by Kenny Rogers. Then he said, "maybe you can tell me who sings the song... I don't even know it... something like me oh me oh my...."
And I finished it for him. This was three hours ago and I'm STILL singing it (in my head).
Oh - yesterday (when I was trying to come up with something to write to amuse you in between my time stamps...) I said I knew there was something kinda funny to write about. Well, I just remembered...
We were driving home from picking the boys up Sunday evening and I noticed that they do not talk while in the car. It's rare that you hear a peep out of either of them. They just sit quietly and ignore each other beautifully. So I said to them "why is it you are so quiet in the car, yet at home you can't keep your hands to yourself and neither one of you is happy unless the other one is wailing like a banshee?"
Brett responds - because you always told us that you might crash if we make any noise. The house doesn't move so we can make all the noise we want.
Guess I was pretty smart cookie when the kids were little. They are too scared to talk while in the car for fear of being in an accident!
Now when the boys start going at it in the basement, I yell down the stairs "STOP or the house is going to crash!"
Hmm. Okay - not very funny. Mildly amusing though.
Fine - go read some other person's blog then!
And I finished it for him. This was three hours ago and I'm STILL singing it (in my head).
Oh - yesterday (when I was trying to come up with something to write to amuse you in between my time stamps...) I said I knew there was something kinda funny to write about. Well, I just remembered...
We were driving home from picking the boys up Sunday evening and I noticed that they do not talk while in the car. It's rare that you hear a peep out of either of them. They just sit quietly and ignore each other beautifully. So I said to them "why is it you are so quiet in the car, yet at home you can't keep your hands to yourself and neither one of you is happy unless the other one is wailing like a banshee?"
Brett responds - because you always told us that you might crash if we make any noise. The house doesn't move so we can make all the noise we want.
Guess I was pretty smart cookie when the kids were little. They are too scared to talk while in the car for fear of being in an accident!
Now when the boys start going at it in the basement, I yell down the stairs "STOP or the house is going to crash!"
Hmm. Okay - not very funny. Mildly amusing though.
Fine - go read some other person's blog then!
Am I twenty again?
Don't think so. I had to pull an all nighter to finish the piano cake that I said would be fun to make... oh ya, a pant load of fun that was! Well, I'm sure I wouldn't feel as bad if I hadn't stayed up until 4:30am on Sunday and 3:00am on Monday.
I have issues. Well, here's the cake... I'm not 100% happy with it, but it will have to do. I am spent.
Note - there is a card that says "Happy 14th Birthday Erin!" I didn't want to pipe it on the cake because there wasn't enough room.
Now my kitchen is trashed. Too tired to clean it up. I would go lie down but it's already 7:23 (no, I'm not starting that again), and my alarm is always set for 7:20.
I hope she likes the cake. I hope the new recipes I tried are all good. I hope it was worth all the time and effort I put into it!
I have to go wake the boys up - will chat with you a little later if I can keep my eyes open!
TTFN
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Time check - 4:15
Decided to read what I'd written to see how pathetic it is to read.
I noticed that Algernon was a hamster who turned into a mouse within one sentence!!
I am killing myself laughing here.
OMG - I need a life - and maybe another grade one grammar lesson!
Time check - 4:17
Seriously. This is my last post. Think about it though. It could be worse. I could be using IM in which case you would be listening to a gazillion bleeps!
Time check 4:18
Later chickadee!
I noticed that Algernon was a hamster who turned into a mouse within one sentence!!
I am killing myself laughing here.
OMG - I need a life - and maybe another grade one grammar lesson!
Time check - 4:17
Seriously. This is my last post. Think about it though. It could be worse. I could be using IM in which case you would be listening to a gazillion bleeps!
Time check 4:18
Later chickadee!
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